Tag: Working Out

My Gut Overfloweth – Further Observations From The Gym

It’s been a while since I’ve posted about my time at the gym. So this week I thought I’d share some more observations for your reading pleasure –

  • I can’t go to a gym class where the instructor is overweight – If she tells the class to run in place, she’ll just stand there and watch. If she tells us to do 20 crunches, she won’t do any. If she tells us to do jumping jacks, she’ll jump down to tie her shoe. I mean really, all gym instructors must look the part. I don’t want someone leading the class who looks like me. I want someone leading the class who looks better than me!
  • Why do gyms always have such small parking lots? –In a perfect world everybody would walk or jog to the gym but it’s like they forgot that the people who work out need to have a place to park their car. I understand that membership at a gym fluctuates from month to month so you never know exactly how many people will be there at any given time but once the parking lot is full, they should stop accepting new members
  • I hate the loud music that the gym has playing – Why do they blast the music so loud that I can’t hear the songs playing from my own iPod? Everyone walks around with headphones so obviously people want to listen to their own music. We don’t want to hear the gym’s playlist; we want to hear our own. Isn’t it called an iPod, not a gymPod?
  • Why am I forced to bring my own towels to the gym? – I hate that my gym charges me to use their towels. I get that washing & drying isn’t free but unless you want my sweat dripping everywhere, I suggest you let me borrow a towel for free while I work out
  • Why bother coming to the gym and not even really try to exercise? – Some people put enough weight on the machines that only a 12 year old could lift. What’s the point? A lot of    people go to the gym just to say they went to the gym. If you’re gonna go through the trouble to dress & drive to the gym you should at least break a sweat once you get there

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I’ll Take 1 Man To Go: Tall, Funny & Smart But Hold The Muscles

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know that I like to write about my experiences in the gym. Click here to read more about that. Even though I haven’t worked out that much this week I’d still like to share my latest observances –

  • Why do men have big arms but skinny little legs? – We’ve all seen men who have very muscular arms but toothpicks as legs. Why aren’t men as vigilant about working out their lower body as they are their arms? I know the arms are one of the most visible parts of the body but don’t forget about your legs too
  • The gym is a good place to ogle & not feel bad about it – The point of working out is to improve your body (and your health too). So if I can’t enjoy the results of your hard labor, men, then why bother? The gym may be sweaty & funky, but it certainly offers a nice view. =)
  • Two grown men shouldn’t work out together – There should be a minimum amount of weight required to lift before you need a workout partner. If you are doing bicep curls you do not need a partner. Bench press yes, bicep curls no
  • If you’re in the gym wear gym clothing – Why do some people show up with cargo pants on? The gym is a place to wear comfortable, loose clothing so you shouldn’t be wearing anything that involves a zipper
  • If you’re going to wear gloves you should be lifting some serious weight – I’ve seen men lift 50 pound weights with gloves on. Why? Fifty pounds is not really heavy (at least for a man, it isn’t) so if that’s all you can lift, preventing calluses should be the least of your concerns

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I Love Seeing Old People At The Gym. It Gives Me Hope

I often write about the “good times” I have at the gym. =) Well, now it’s time for some more observations from my week at the gym:

  • Men, don’t adjust yourself in public please – This definitely merits a separate post (which I will write one day), but I think it’s gross! I understand that moving around a lot while working out may constitute an “adjustment” but at least go to the restroom, turn away from the crowd or wait until you’re in private. How often do you see a woman digging around in her sports bra to move “things” around?
  • No peeking – No one should be allowed to peek over at my machine to check my speed or see what level of incline I’m on. What I’m doing when I work out is my business and my business only. So what if I’m on the treadmill on a level 1 incline for 30 minutes? I may not be going very fast, but that might be the most that I’m able to do.  Some people don’t even get that much exercise in a whole week. All I’m saying is – keep your eyes on your own machine., thank you very much.
  • Farting in public – Some people just can’t hold it in, can they? All that grunting on the machines can really move the gas around in your stomach but constant offenders shouldn’t be allowed back. It’s already sweaty in the gym. Don’t funk it up any more than it already is.
  • No Talking Zone – I understand a lot of people think that the gym is a good place to meet people (which it is) but it’s all about timing. If I’m on a machine gettin’ my sweat on then it is not a good time to try to holla at me. But if I’m walking around, standing in front of the fan or getting a smoothie then that would be the best time to come up to me.
  • Thank goodness for football season! – I know the gym will be much emptier on Monday evenings now. Yeah!!

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Why Are You Wearing Cologne To The Gym?

From time to time I like to write about my experiences at the gym. I try to work out about 4-5 days a week so something comes up almost every day. Here are my gym randoms for the week:

  • Men stop wearing cologne to the gym – Spraying an expensive fragrance (or even a cheap one) will never mask the odor of pure funk. Everybody at the gym smells & if you’re working out hard enough you will too.
  • Chest hairs are not sexy – If you have a lot of chest hair or hairy arms please cover that up. Nobody wants to see all that. Leave something to the imagination, guys! T-shirts are sold everywhere so there is no excuse.
  • There should be a minimum amount of weight that a man has to lift at the gym– A man should be able to lift more weight than I can. So if I leave a machine with, let’s say 25 pound weights, then a guy shouldn’t be able to sit at that machine & use the same amount of weight. He should have to automatically increase those weights by at least 50%. After all, aren’t men supposed to be stronger than women?!
  • I’ve said this before, but big arms & a big gut don’t go together – Talk about irony, why not work out so that your body looks ripped all over? It makes no sense to be strong enough to pick me up but your stomach is so big I can’t even hug you all the way. Ha!

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Why Waste My Deodorant? I’m Just Going To The Gym…

I try to work out at least 3-4 days a week. Some days I’ll go to the gym & some days I’ll ride my bike or take a run around my neighborhood. Well, I don’t actually run, it’s more like a light jog, but you know what I mean. I really like going to the gym because of all the classes that they offer. It’s already hard enough for me to get up early to exercise, so taking a class with other people who also don’t really want to be there makes working out a lot easier. I love cardio classes – anything from Piloxing to Zumba – because they are so much fun!

No matter how much fun I have in these classes I do have a few gripes with going to the gym –

  • The gym instructor shouldn’t be huffin’ & puffin’ half way thru her own class. Especially if it’s her first class of the day (6am bootcamp). Geez!
  • There are a lot of people in my cardio class that don’t have any rhythm whatsoever. The fact that they are off beat throws me off. So no offense white folks, but if you want to be in the front of the class then you have to stay on beat. (Lol!)
  • I can’t stand seeing men with big muscular arms & a big gut. Talk about irony, why not work out so that your body looks ripped all over? It makes no sense to be strong enough to pick me up but your stomach is so big I can’t even hug you all the way. Ha!

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