Tag: Texting

Two Down & Three Billion To Go!

I finally got a man (actually two of them) to STOP texting me! No longer will these men rely on their fingers to do the talking but will actually dial my number & have a civilized conversation with me. I feel like I’ve made a small step for womankind everywhere.

I made it very clear to these two men that I would not correspond with them at all unless they actually picked up the phone & called me. I can’t get to know anyone over text message and told them that if they want to get to know me, those were the “rules of engagement”. Basically, take it or leave it when it comes to talking to me.

It’s no secret how much I hate it when men text me. I’ve written about it a few times before. I feel like these men are just too lazy to actually speak so they rely on their keypad to do all the talking for them.  That just won’t work for me. I am a grown woman & I like grownup conversations. How can I determine your tonality, any dryness in your voice or your true intent over text message? The pauses in a man’s voice, whether or not he laughs at my random sense of humor or even if he’s a good listener can only be determined while talking on the phone.

How is a woman supposed to be enticed to go out with you if you haven’t “said” anything enticing?! Sending me “LOL” and “SMH” and “WYD” or “GM” on my phone will not make me more attracted to anyone. I love hearing a man’s sexy voice, I love hearing compliments and I love seeing where the conversation will lead. I’m sorry but none of that can happen over text message. Texting cannot replace a connection, human emotions or laughter. Not to mention the more time I spend texting you, the less time I have to do other things. Texting always takes more time than talking.

It’s ironic how single men always complain about not meeting “quality women” but when they meet one, they won’t even talk to her!


Ladies, Do You Think Dressing Cute Will Give You A Better Workout At The Gym?

From time to time, I like to write about the things I see in the gym. One of my latest pieces was “Why Waste My Deodorant? I’m Just Going To The Gym”.

But this week, I wanted to write about the women I’ve noticed at the gym & how ridiculous some of them look:

  • Wearing makeup to the gym – Why do women wear makeup at the gym knowing that they’re just going to get sweaty. I understand women who are coming from work who are already have makeup on but what about those who put it on just to go workout? There is no reason why anyone should be wearing makeup first thing on a Saturday morning at the gym. It’s actually more harmful for a woman’s skin because her pores can get clogged up. Plus, if you’re trying to attract a man at the gym he’s going to be more interested in your body than your face
  • Women who coordinate their gym clothes – If you think that matching your tennis shoes to your sports bra is going to help you lose weight, you’re lying to yourself. It’s nice to look the part but women shouldn’t waste their money on fancy workout clothes. Remember, you’re just sweating not entering a beauty pageant
  • Texting while on the treadmill – Why do I see women texting instead of running? Why is your phone even with you on the treadmill? What’s the point of bringing your phone into the gym anyway? You know you can’t focus while you’re on the phone. Unless you’re expecting some type of emergency phone call all cell phones should be left in a locker.
  • If you are bigger than a “D” cup, you need extra support for your breasts – A simple sports bra doesn’t cut it for everybody. We don’t need you distracting other people, or knocking your eye out (lol). So if this applies to you, I hope you know who you are
  • You shouldn’t time your workout based on how many TV shows you get to watch on the elliptical machine – It is nice to put in the earbuds & tune out the world but using a sitcom as a timer isn’t the best idea. You can’t get a good workout if you’re laughing while trying to run on a treadmill. Also, you can totally forget to track your progress if you get too caught up in watching a television show


Talk To Me, Baby: What Type Of Phone Call Are You?!

Life keeps us so busy that it gets difficult trying to catch up with family and friends. There are some people that I love talking to & some that I can’t stand to talk to for more than a few minutes at a time, so I’ve categorized my phone calls. Here are some examples of what I’m talking about –

  • Bathroom phone call: Sitting in the bathroom is usually one of the most peaceful times of day for me (don’t laugh) so what better time than to call someone that has stressful conversation? This way when I’m done with my “business”, I’m also done with the phone call. Sometimes I wish I could flush certain people down the toilet (lol!)
  • Lunch break: These phone calls are usually pretty quick since lunch breaks are only an hour long. Because I have to eat and possibly do other things during my lunch break people I call during this time are usually just acquaintances, business calls or family members I don’t really want to talk to for very long.
  • Making dinner: This is where I get to multitask – I call people who are not that interesting.  This way I don’t have to give them my undivided attention and once dinner is ready (usually 30 minutes or less) it’s time to get off that phone.
  • Eating dinner: While I’m eating, I usually call people who like to talk a lot. It’s not good to talk with food in my mouth so during this time I can be a really good listener. And if I go for seconds, then they can really keep talking!
  • In the car – These phone calls are reserved for people I really like because sitting in the car is the largest chunk of time I use up. Traffic can get really bad and driving a few miles can take anywhere from 20 minutes to over an hour, so this is truly the best way to kill time. I can connect with friends that I love talking with while I get to my destination safely.

I’d like to hear from you…..what type of phone call do you think you are?


Grown Men Shouldn’t Text Me

I’ve already talked about how much I hate when men choose to text me. Unless you are under the age of 25, you need to pick up the phone & converse with me like a grown-up. I got a text the other night from a phone number that I had previously deleted and did not respond to it because he did not have the decency to actually call me.

This article hits the nail on the head (again) –

Real Men Talk, They Don’t Text

By Roxanne Jones, Special to CNN
updated 10:06 AM EDT, Wed July 3, 2013

(CNN) — That’s it. Starting today the next guy to text me and ask me on a date will be deleted from my cell phone — permanently.

Want to make plans for the weekend?

Wondering how my day was?

Need to discuss our relationship?

Call me.

Save texting for simple stuff: Let’s meet at 8 p.m.? Do you like sushi? Or even, you looked so hot last night! When it comes to texting, the KISS rule applies — Keep It Simple Stupid. Now of course, there are times when a “U & I R DUN” text may be in order. But that rule is only acceptable if you’ve gone out once or twice and had an awful experience.

Dumping or even divorcing someone via text message is just cowardice. It’s a punk move but it happens quite often and not just among teens, as pop star Katy Perry tells us in the July issue of Vogue magazine. “He’s a very smart man, and I was in love with him when I married him,” Perry says, of her ex-husband Russell Brand. “Let’s just say I haven’t heard from him since he texted me saying he was divorcing me December 31, 2011.”

It’s best to say good riddance to a loser like Brand. Because while it may be cute for teenagers to text their sweetheart all day and night, that is really no way for intelligent, confident adults to communicate. “People can hide themselves in a text message,” warns Bela Gandhi, founder of Smart Dating Academy in Chicago. “When you talk to someone on the phone that’s when their true personality starts to shine. Hearing someone’s voice tells you if they are positive or negative, or enthusiastic about life. The voice conversation is very important. It keeps people from hiding. The phone is a screener.”

As a happily single woman, I am shocked at how many professional, attractive and otherwise intelligent men have no idea how to hold communicate effectively by phone or face to face. Real communication often takes courage. It’s not easy to drop our defenses and reveal our insecurities to one another, especially if we’ve gotten our feelings hurt a few times. But developing your emotional intelligence is a critical ingredient in all healthy adult relationships.

A short text in the middle of the day to let someone know you are thinking of them is a sweet gesture. But if you imagine that sending a daily barrage of texts, such as “driving to work, heading to lunch, or just left a meeting” is a romantic way to show you are thinking of your partner, think again. Or texting in the middle of the night. I once dated a 50-something guy who thought it was romantic to send me a “good morning” text at 4:30 a.m. Good grief. When the chime on my phone jolted me awake, I panicked: “Someone must have died,” I thought. Why else would anyone text me at this hour? Bad move.

“Texting is not the place for anything serious. Never handle something over text that should be handled in person or over the phone. This just shows that you are a weakling who deserves a good slapping. Swallow your fear, and pick up the phone.” says relationship expert Michael Masters, author of “TextAppeal — For Guys! The Ultimate Texting Guide.” Don’t get me wrong, no one has time to be on the phone all day every day, but I can guarantee you that if the woman you’re dating would rather text you than call, the relationship is over.

Also, it’s best to avoid needy “Crack Texting.” “This is hands-down the number one mistake people make,” says Masters. Texting is best used as a slowly developing conversation. And the benefit of texting is that you actually have time to think before you blast off an inappropriate message. I like Masters’ rule: “The hotter the person is, the less you should be texting them. Don’t be needy.”

I get it. I love technology and I text, tweet, tumblr, pin, and share on Facebook with a passion. Social networking is an integral part of my life. But when it comes to romance, women still need to hear your voice or look you in the eye when we’re talking. “[Research shows] that about 93% of how we make our first impressions of people within 30 seconds of meeting them is nonverbal communication — body language, voice tone, personal appearance … ” Gandhi reminds us. “And relying on texting to build a relationship is a recipe for miscommunication, and premature intimacy.”

Don’t let technology turn you into a coward who is afraid of real conversation, or sharing yourself in any meaningful way. Don’t be a Russell Brand. If you have more virtual friends on Facebook than you do in reality, it’s time to reevaluate your life. Get out there make a few actual friends, in person.

Dating is easy. It’s risky. But it is not nearly as complicated as many people make out — as long as you actually like yourself first and are basically satisfied with your own life. I admit there is one date text I always will answer: “Want to go to the Knicks game tonight?” Now that message just might be the start of a beautiful relationship.


I Admit It – I Text When I Drive

I am guilty of texting while driving. I know that I shouldn’t. But at least I don’t text while my car is in motion, I only text when I’m at a red light. It’s still wrong, I know but I figure – what harm am I doing? I’m fully alert when my foot is on the gas pedal and my driving record says I’m a pretty responsible. In my mind, most of the irresponsible texters are teenagers and I am out of that age range.

So why do I text & drive at the same time? Usually, because I’m bored. Sitting at a light for 2-3 minutes can seem like an eternity so what else is there to do but quickly check a few messages on my phone? I really don’t see how checking my phone is any different than multi-tasking while driving. I’ve seen plenty of men shaving while looking in their rear view mirror at a stoplight on their way to work. I’ve also seen women put on makeup while they drive. I’ve even applied nail polish in the car & let it air dry with my hands on the steering wheel while I drive. Bad, I know.

But texting while driving is wrong. It can cost you hundreds of dollars including tickets, court fees, miscellaneous fines and not to mention potentially tainting your driving record.

Here are some devastating stats on the dangers of texting & driving:

  • If you text and drive, you’re 23 times more likely to have a car crash
  • A crash typically happens within an average of three seconds after a driver is distracted
  • It is thought that texting while driving is six times more likely to cause an auto crash than driving when intoxicated.
  • The United States Department of Transportation notes that cell phones are involved in 1.6 million auto crashes each year that cause a half million injuries and take 6,000 lives.
  • Of those killed in distracted-driving-related crashed, 995 involved reports of a cell phone as a distraction (18% of fatalities in distraction-related crashes). (NHTSA)

So other than resolving to not text & drive, you’re probably wondering how you can get involved in this campaign. Here are a few ways you can help raise awareness  –

SHARE your cell phone free driving commitment on Twitter, Facebook, Foursquare, other social media sites and in your blogs (like I’m doing right now)
SPREAD THE WORD by sending email and messages to family, friends and co-workers
PLACE No Phone Zone reminders everywhere – on car keys, dashboards and on garage walls
GIVE No Phone Zone pledge reminders as gifts to friends, family and co-workers
GET INVOLVED in your community school, religious, and civic organizations and start your own Don’t Text and Drive, or No Phone Zone campaigns
WRITE letters and send emails to government leaders, media editors and post comments to blogs about the dangers of cell phone use and driving

So here’s my PSA for the month: Don’t text and drive, even if it is legal in your state (and especially if it’s illegal). Visit www.donttextdrive.com for more information.