Tag: Tall

People Telling You Not To Wear Heels And 6 Other Tall Girl Problems

I love this article. It sums up everything that I wrote about being tall & more!

On our site, I’ve noticed we’ve covered a lot of problems that women deal with: black girl problems, skinny girl problems, and we’ve even touched on people who deal with “pretty girl problems.” But how could we forget about the problems of the tall sistah? From struggling with “floor-length mirrors” to having everyone assume that because you’re tall, you should play volleyball, basketball, and maybe even pull the long jump out of your a**, it really is always something. There are perks to being tall, but there’s a few things that happen because of our towering height that we can’t help but be annoyed by. Let’s talk about it real quick:

The Dating Pool Can Get Even Smaller; Aka, Short Dudes – When you’re a short woman, you have the pick of the litter when it comes to men. Tall ones, short ones, fat ones, small ones, one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish. You get my point. But when you’re a tall woman, you do your best to hold out for taller men, and even then they might not be taller than you. Some are just your height, and with heels on, they might end up looking like a little brother in the end. And don’t get me started on the 5″4 chicks you’ll find reaching up for kisses from their 6″3 boyfriends while you crouch for pictures with your boyfriend, who just happens to be an inch or two shorter. While you might make an exception for a shorter brotha you like, your hope is ultimately going to be for someone you can look up rather than down to. No offense!

The Struggle For Fabulous Fitting Clothes – You don’t even want to know the struggle that is oh so real for a tall woman looking to covet a new, fitting pair of jeans. They might hug your curves and fit comfortably, but wind up being so short they’re better fitted for a little sister. Or make that, the struggle to get a sweater that has caught your eye without the sleeves turning into 3/4 when they’re supposed to be down to the wrist. When you’re a tallie, what will fit someone else with ease can leave your ankles cold and exposed, or have you looking like you bought your sweater out of the children’s section of Target. You have to search for bottoms with the “L” for long and pray that when you pull a shirt over your head, that joint will come on how it looks on the mannequin. But if not, can you really say that you’re surprised. Disappointment is the norm…

There Are No Such Thing As Baths For You – Ever wanted to soak in the bath after a long day? Throw some bubbles in the tub and let your skin get all supple and soft? When you’re a short woman you can probably lay back and let your body sink into the water. Cut on some candles and you’ve got a serene atmosphere. But for the tall girl, you’re never fully laid back and relaxed in the tub. In fact, either your knees are hiked up in the tub or your legs are rested on the edge of the tub. Get too comfortable in that joint and your back will start hurting or the whole half of your body that’s not chilling in the water will get a slight chill since it dried before the other part. That isn’t serene in the least.

The Taller You Are, The Bigger Your Feet, The Smaller The Selection Of Shoes To Buy – If you’re taller than 5″10 and say you wear a size 7 or 8, I might just have to call you a liar. Many tall women out in these streets are wearing 9 1/2, 10 and even bigger sometimes. And because our feet aren’t the tiniest, finding a cute shoe you might find in a size 8 section at the store is damn near impossible. Instead of flashy stilettos you get some clog looking shoes with a chunky heel or some really gaudy joints that you wouldn’t be caught dead in (or at least not for the price they’re advertising). Sometimes some stores (like a Nordstrom Rack) might have times during the year where they put out extended sizes or a wider selection of shoes for bigger feet, but for the most part, you need to do your shopping online and hope for the best.

Either You Don’t Want To Wear Heels Or People Throw Shade At You For Wearing Them – It takes a lot of confidence as a tall chick to throw on tall shoes, and when you finally gather that up and decide to wear them, despite how much they make you tower over others, sometimes you run into people (parents, friends, even boyfriends maybe) who get on you for deciding to wear heels when it’s clear that you’re already “too” tall. People treat you as if you were born last night and didn’t realize that you’re the height of an average sized WNBA player. It’s almost as though people assume that because you’re tall, your fashion sense and shoe game should be limited to pointed-toe flats, round-toe flats and sandals. God forbid you find a pair of heels that make you feel sexy and sassy, because somebody’s going to have something to say about it.

Transportation Can Never Be Comfortable Enough – Road trips, or hell, trips to the local grocery store with a group of friends, can be a hot mess when you’re tall. Why? Well, if you’re not lucky enough to call shotgun in time, you might end up riding behind that one person who feels the need to be in gangster lean mode for the whole trip. You’ve been there: back up alarmingly straight against the seat as you try and find room for your knees, which have been pounded into the back of the seat. Either that, or your legs are on their own gangster lean to the left or right, seeking out freedom and maybe, just maybe, the possibility that you can open your legs and get some space. Same goes for riding behind a person on a plane who just had to kick their seat back within the first 10 minutes of getting up in the air. Sure the vomit bag is literally resting on your lap, and you can barely push your legs out in the hopes that you don’t get a damn blood clot from sitting in the same spot for four hours, but when the a**hole in front of you wants to kick back and relax, the tall individual has to be in pain while they’re in comfort.

You’re The Center Of Attention, Even When You Don’t Want To Be – If you are like me and just so happen to be a young child who is taller than the rest of your siblings, you find that your height often makes you the center of attention. Tell someone you’re not the oldest just because you’re 5″9, but rather one of the youngest children in a family, and people don’t believe it. Take a picture with your short friends and you’ll find that everyone looks like little kids next to you, and if you’re taller than most, you’ll find that people will have their eyes glued on you. And as was brought up earlier, when you decide to wear a pair of strappy tall heels to hang out with girlfriends, you’re standing above them all. But then again, that might not be a bad thing, standing out and what not. While there are “problems” that come with being a tall sistah, there are many benefits as well. I wouldn’t trade my ability to see clearly at concerts or grab things from high shelves for the chance to maybe have smaller feet and a wider selection of men to date. Can’t have it all, right? God doesn’t make mistakes, so I take the problems in stride, pull my giraffe-like neck up and walk with pride. We’re luckier than we think ladies!

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*Article originally published on Madame Noire.

I Am Above Average

I’m a tall woman. I’m 5’9”, so I’m not freakishly tall, but I am taller than the average woman. The average woman is 5 ft. 3 inches tall and the average man is 5 ft. 9 inches tall. When I wear heels, which is quite often, I am automatically taller than the average man. I can’t speak to how men feel about this, but I for one don’t like to be taller than the person I’m dating and I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way.

I wish there were a lot more men in this world that were taller; plenty of tall men to choose from so that I don’t feel so bad wearing heels every time I go out.  I read that only about 15% of men are 6 feet or taller. Fifteen percent is not very many, ya’ll. And only 4% of these men are over 6’2” or taller (which is my basically my height with heels on). For us tall women, this statistic is pretty sad.

Let me define the word “short”. For me, a short man is anyone shorter than me. LOL! If you’re not average (remember that’s means 5’9” for a man), then you are below average – meaning you’re short. And what do I really think of short men? Well, I can’t really hold it against them since it’s not their fault BUT I would like to think that they have other redeeming qualities. If I’m going to be looking down at a man, he should at least make me laugh, be loads of fun or incredibly interesting!

Now obviously we can’t help our height. If it were possible, I’m sure all the tall people would want to be shorter & the short people would want to be taller. Unfortunately, that’ll never happen.  So what do you do if you’re a tall woman? It’s so hard to find an attractive, quality man who has some height on him. But I do think that Michelle Obama is a great example of how to manage your height when you’re dealing with a man who’s not too much taller than you are. Fortunately, at 5’11” she was able to meet a man that was over 6 feet. But if you notice Mrs. Obama usually wears flats or 1-2 inch pumps (I can’t even call them heels) all the time. While I wouldn’t necessarily do that all the time I do my best to let the man look like “the man”. In other words, I try my best not to hold my height over him (no pun intended).

Now some of you (shorter) men may be wondering why women obsess over tall men. Well, taller men are just sexier; more masculine. Taller men are more powerful and attractive. They are usually more dominant and assertive and exude more confidence, seem to care more about their appearance and appear more driven. Maybe they do this because they know that more women are into them but they really do carry themselves differently. Height affects how individuals regard themselves (self-esteem) and how individuals are regarded by others (social-esteem). Social & self-esteem affect individuals’ job performance and how supervisors evaluate job performance, which in turn affects career success. Not to mention there are actual benefits to being taller than average. Taller people not only hold jobs of higher status (for instance, sales managers are taller than salespeople), they also earn more money. In fact, a classic study in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that people make $789 more per year for each inch above average height they are. So why wouldn’t a woman want a tall man?

Where am I with the whole height-thing now? Well, I stopped caring how short the men I date are & wear heels regardless of who I’m with. If they have a problem with it, oh well. My goal is to look good when I’m out with a man even if that means towering over him. Plus, any man that asks me out already knows how tall I am so I guess he doesn’t mind anyway if I’m taller than him. When I’m with a man who is taller than me I feel smaller (shorter), protected (which is how a man is supposed to make a woman feel), and also more “feminine”. Sure, I value other good qualities in a man but a man with some height certainly has favor over one who doesn’t.

So, is dating a short man a deal breaker for me? Eh….it’s hard to say. For me, if you are short you should either be extra attractive, have a nice body or be financially secure. Otherwise, I will continue to wear my heels until my 6’2” Prince Charming comes along.

At the end of the day, men want looks & women want height. What’s so wrong with that?

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P.S. – If you’re looking to meet a tall single, check out these websites: