I love this article. It sums up everything that I wrote about being tall & more!
On our site, I’ve noticed we’ve covered a lot of problems that women deal with: black girl problems, skinny girl problems, and we’ve even touched on people who deal with “pretty girl problems.” But how could we forget about the problems of the tall sistah? From struggling with “floor-length mirrors” to having everyone assume that because you’re tall, you should play volleyball, basketball, and maybe even pull the long jump out of your a**, it really is always something. There are perks to being tall, but there’s a few things that happen because of our towering height that we can’t help but be annoyed by. Let’s talk about it real quick:
The Dating Pool Can Get Even Smaller; Aka, Short Dudes – When you’re a short woman, you have the pick of the litter when it comes to men. Tall ones, short ones, fat ones, small ones, one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish. You get my point. But when you’re a tall woman, you do your best to hold out for taller men, and even then they might not be taller than you. Some are just your height, and with heels on, they might end up looking like a little brother in the end. And don’t get me started on the 5″4 chicks you’ll find reaching up for kisses from their 6″3 boyfriends while you crouch for pictures with your boyfriend, who just happens to be an inch or two shorter. While you might make an exception for a shorter brotha you like, your hope is ultimately going to be for someone you can look up rather than down to. No offense!
The Struggle For Fabulous Fitting Clothes – You don’t even want to know the struggle that is oh so real for a tall woman looking to covet a new, fitting pair of jeans. They might hug your curves and fit comfortably, but wind up being so short they’re better fitted for a little sister. Or make that, the struggle to get a sweater that has caught your eye without the sleeves turning into 3/4 when they’re supposed to be down to the wrist. When you’re a tallie, what will fit someone else with ease can leave your ankles cold and exposed, or have you looking like you bought your sweater out of the children’s section of Target. You have to search for bottoms with the “L” for long and pray that when you pull a shirt over your head, that joint will come on how it looks on the mannequin. But if not, can you really say that you’re surprised. Disappointment is the norm…
There Are No Such Thing As Baths For You – Ever wanted to soak in the bath after a long day? Throw some bubbles in the tub and let your skin get all supple and soft? When you’re a short woman you can probably lay back and let your body sink into the water. Cut on some candles and you’ve got a serene atmosphere. But for the tall girl, you’re never fully laid back and relaxed in the tub. In fact, either your knees are hiked up in the tub or your legs are rested on the edge of the tub. Get too comfortable in that joint and your back will start hurting or the whole half of your body that’s not chilling in the water will get a slight chill since it dried before the other part. That isn’t serene in the least.
The Taller You Are, The Bigger Your Feet, The Smaller The Selection Of Shoes To Buy – If you’re taller than 5″10 and say you wear a size 7 or 8, I might just have to call you a liar. Many tall women out in these streets are wearing 9 1/2, 10 and even bigger sometimes. And because our feet aren’t the tiniest, finding a cute shoe you might find in a size 8 section at the store is damn near impossible. Instead of flashy stilettos you get some clog looking shoes with a chunky heel or some really gaudy joints that you wouldn’t be caught dead in (or at least not for the price they’re advertising). Sometimes some stores (like a Nordstrom Rack) might have times during the year where they put out extended sizes or a wider selection of shoes for bigger feet, but for the most part, you need to do your shopping online and hope for the best.
Either You Don’t Want To Wear Heels Or People Throw Shade At You For Wearing Them – It takes a lot of confidence as a tall chick to throw on tall shoes, and when you finally gather that up and decide to wear them, despite how much they make you tower over others, sometimes you run into people (parents, friends, even boyfriends maybe) who get on you for deciding to wear heels when it’s clear that you’re already “too” tall. People treat you as if you were born last night and didn’t realize that you’re the height of an average sized WNBA player. It’s almost as though people assume that because you’re tall, your fashion sense and shoe game should be limited to pointed-toe flats, round-toe flats and sandals. God forbid you find a pair of heels that make you feel sexy and sassy, because somebody’s going to have something to say about it.
Transportation Can Never Be Comfortable Enough – Road trips, or hell, trips to the local grocery store with a group of friends, can be a hot mess when you’re tall. Why? Well, if you’re not lucky enough to call shotgun in time, you might end up riding behind that one person who feels the need to be in gangster lean mode for the whole trip. You’ve been there: back up alarmingly straight against the seat as you try and find room for your knees, which have been pounded into the back of the seat. Either that, or your legs are on their own gangster lean to the left or right, seeking out freedom and maybe, just maybe, the possibility that you can open your legs and get some space. Same goes for riding behind a person on a plane who just had to kick their seat back within the first 10 minutes of getting up in the air. Sure the vomit bag is literally resting on your lap, and you can barely push your legs out in the hopes that you don’t get a damn blood clot from sitting in the same spot for four hours, but when the a**hole in front of you wants to kick back and relax, the tall individual has to be in pain while they’re in comfort.
You’re The Center Of Attention, Even When You Don’t Want To Be – If you are like me and just so happen to be a young child who is taller than the rest of your siblings, you find that your height often makes you the center of attention. Tell someone you’re not the oldest just because you’re 5″9, but rather one of the youngest children in a family, and people don’t believe it. Take a picture with your short friends and you’ll find that everyone looks like little kids next to you, and if you’re taller than most, you’ll find that people will have their eyes glued on you. And as was brought up earlier, when you decide to wear a pair of strappy tall heels to hang out with girlfriends, you’re standing above them all. But then again, that might not be a bad thing, standing out and what not. While there are “problems” that come with being a tall sistah, there are many benefits as well. I wouldn’t trade my ability to see clearly at concerts or grab things from high shelves for the chance to maybe have smaller feet and a wider selection of men to date. Can’t have it all, right? God doesn’t make mistakes, so I take the problems in stride, pull my giraffe-like neck up and walk with pride. We’re luckier than we think ladies!
*Article originally published on Madame Noire.
There are a few random things that are going through my mind right now. Again, these things are very random but I still thought I’d share:
- From time to time I do a random phone sweep where I clean out phone #’s that I haven’t called in a while. I hate it when someone calls me out of the blue after I’ve just deleted their number
- Don’t be mad at me if I can’t tell whether your baby is a boy or a girl. The sex of your baby might be obvious to you but not to other people. If your baby has on blue, I’m going to guess it’s a boy every time.
- I hate it when I only have 2 or 3 items in my shopping cart but the person in front of me with a full cart of groceries won’t let me go ahead of them
- I hate it when I try to return something only to realize that I just missed the deadline per the store’s return policy
- You’d think that because football season is over there would be more men grocery shopping on Sunday afternoons
- I hate that cell phones are getting more expensive but the battery life keeps getting shorter & shorter
- I hate that I have to check my drive thru order before I drive off because of 1 time a McDonald’s cashier forget to give me my fries and I didn’t notice until after I drove off
- I hate it when people walk in the middle of the parking lot knowing that they hear my car engine right behind them trying to drive past them
- Even though I get tired sometimes, I hate that I can’t take a nap in the middle of a Sunday afternoon because it will through off my sleep pattern for the rest of night
- I hate putting on pantyhose for church & getting a run in them before I even get to the church
- I hate offering people mints for their bad breath & they decline
- It’s only when I need to wear a certain pair of shoes, I realize that they either need to be polished or need a heel replaced so I can’t wear them after all & it screws up my whole outfit
A male friend of mine was telling me of a conversation he had with one of his guy friends about the cost of dating. He figured that in one year he spent close to $10,000 in dating alone, between dinners, the movies, taking trips, black-tie events, gifts, concerts, etc. Now he may have been exaggerating a bit, but the discussion continued on about how expensive dating can be and how women don’t have to spend hardly anything. I adamantly disagreed with this and explained to my male friend that women have to spend money too. Dating isn’t free for us either.
After this conversation, I started to really think about how much I spend on dating. On average, men spend around $50 on a date – depending on where he lives – give or take. As a woman, my money is mostly spent on preparing for the date not to mention the dates that I do occasionally pay for. Hair appointments and nail appointments can cost over $100 easily. Not to mention new outfits, shoes & accessories. My friend was quick to point out that buying new clothes for a date isn’t necessary; therefore I couldn’t count that as a “dating expense”. I told him that it does count because although we women can wear the same clothes after a date, the new outfit would not have been purchased had it not been for that date. For example, if a man takes a woman out to dinner & spends $25 on her meal & $25 on his meal he won’t say the date only costs $25. Instead, he’ll say that the date was $50 – the total cost of the dinner. The argument is that he would not have spent $25 on his meal unless he was out on that date. So, it’s the same thing with a woman buying new clothes for a date. And as for getting my hair & nails done, it may not be necessary but it’s something that men certainly enjoy seeing.
And there’s more to it than just money. Women take a lot of time getting ready than men (between hair, makeup and the like) so not only does it cost us more money, we lose more time preparing for the date. And we all know that time is money.
So gentlemen, yes dating is expensive for women too!