As a single woman, one of the foremost thoughts on my mind is men (hey, what can I say?!). Thoughts like “Will I ever meet the right guy?”, “Why is it so hard to find someone?”, “Where are all the good men?” frequently pop up in my head.

I asked a single girlfriend how she manages to not let thoughts like these cloud her head and she told me that she wasn’t worried about finding a man or getting married because she knew it would happen at the right time. She had already prayed on it so she knew that it was only a matter of time, God’s time, before the right man came into her life. She had no worries whatsoever that she would be married (even though she’s older than I am) and wasn’t even concerned about her relationship status.

While I admire her assuredness, I am definitely not like her. I can’t help but to think about dating, relationships & why God chooses to take His time in some people’s lives and moves things right along in others. Why do some women who have done everything “right” have to struggle to find the right mate?  When I discussed this with my single friend, her answer was simple – “It’s not about me, it’s about him. And he ain’t ready.”

What she said made quite a bit of sense. A lot of times, women bear this unnecessary burden of thinking that “they are doing something wrong” or “aren’t pretty enough” when it’s nowhere near the truth. Of course, I’m not saying that women are perfect, I’m simply saying that we shouldn’t blame ourselves if we are still single because the problem may not be us at all. Sometimes men just aren’t ready – Even the good ones.

Sure, a man will take you out, compliment you & seemingly do all the right things; but he still may not be ready for anything real. He may even tell you that he’s ready for a commitment or wants to be in a relationship, but that doesn’t make it true. And a woman should never take that personally, it’s just ‘he ain’t ready’. And no matter what we women do, we can never make a man get ready for something that he’s not.

So, ladies, being single is not always your fault. Single men aren’t always “ready men”.