Tag: Motivational

Is Having A Baby Really Worth It?

I found this article & thought it would be great to share with those who are thinking about having children. Enjoy! –

 

“Is having a baby really worth it?” She asked me the question because she was on the fence about whether she should have a baby. I remember that time in my life. I think I’m still at that time in my life. Should I have kids? But she was asking me seriously. I was her closest friend with real baby insight. What was the deal? Do the heart-melting moments outweigh the bad stuff and make it totally worth it?

Well… Yesno.

As usual, I am a focus group of one. There seem to be a lot of people out there who think having (and rearing) babies is The Most Fun Ever. They are all like, “Oh my God! And then I get to quit my job and FINALLY buy that house in the ‘burbs and make crafts All. Day. Long. and sing songs and, OMG, I cannot wait!” And I think those people are incredible. (Don’t get me wrong, I love crafts as much as the next gal. I just like to do adult crafts. Alone.) Those people have a different genetic makeup than I do. I think my kid is awesome. All two hours a day I spend with him after living the working mom dream. And then I like to put him to bed and think about how I can’t go anywhere because it’s basically illegal to leave the house. JUST IN CASE. (There’s a lot of “just in case” in parenting. I want to tell people to go ahead and stop talking to me, just in case I get violent.)

But when posed the question, “It is totally worth it?”, I really can’t answer simply. On the one hand, I have a tiny person: I own a 28-inch human being. He has tiny human pants and little New Balance sneakers and he thinks I am awesome. Like, really awesome. He sees me and he’s all, “Oh thank God it is you! I have been waiting on you since forever and I have no concept of time so that’s basically my whole life!” And he smiles and makes “ahhoooohhh” noises that are pretty funny because he thinks I’m absolutely following what he’s telling me. Mimic him and his mind is blown. We speak the same language!

No, shrunken human, I have no idea what you’re getting at.

But then other times he is a tiny life terrorist. He’s the biggest, most selfish ass in the history of the world. He wants what he wants when he wants it and that’s exactly 30 seconds before it’s humanly possible for me to have it. All the toys in the world are meaningless compared to an outlet or a live wire or anything else that could instantly kill him. He stole everything I knew: my life, my professional life, my social life, my sex life. I now spend evenings putting meat into a blender and then tasting it. Pureed meat! Sh*t ain’t right. He’s turned our cat into a manic-depressive who no longer stares out the window, but rather throws his body against the screen in an attempt to break through and plunge to his death.

And some of those things, like slaving over homemade baby food and losing the love of the family cat, are OK. His cuteness does make those things worth it. But the other stuff? The loss of anything that resembles my former life? That’s where things get complicated. When he wakes up screaming bloody murder just moments after I put him down, right as the wine is about to hit my lips, only to smile and laugh when I go into his room, I frankly think him a deviant little f*ck. A tiny human who was sent to this earth to make me think long and hard about who I am and what I believe.

But that’s not an answer. So I answer like this:

Having a baby is like losing your leg and winning the lottery. Winning the lottery does not make it OK that you’re without your leg, but it does give you enough of a distraction that you don’t completely lose your mind. Yes, your leg is missing, but you’re on a yacht. Would you rather be in a trailer with a leg? Who knows. Guess it depends on whether you felt like going for a jog.

My leg is gone. Blown to smithereens. I have to relearn to walk and dance and run and do everything else I used to know how to do, but I won the lottery, so that’s going to help.

Of course I miss not having a baby. When people say things like, “I don’t even remember what it was like!”, I cannot relate. I remember exactly what it was like. IT WAS AMAZING. I drank in real bars on weeknights. I made last-minute plans. I could get on an airplane without two Xanax and a booster brew and a sincere prayer that the small boy doesn’t freak out at 30,000 feet. When I made a decision, it was with very little other than my own comfort and convenience in mind. Those things come dead last now. If they come at all.

I can’t tell you whether having kids will be worth it for you. And that whole, “We are waiting until we’re ready” thing? Right. You are never ready for this. When the tiny human cometh, all bets are off. And from then on, the question is never again whether or not it’s worth it. The question is how you make it worth it for them.

childfree 3

 

*Originally posted on Huffington Post.

Where Is Your Sanctuary?

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Having your own private sanctuary is essential to having good mental health. No matter how much time you spend there, everyone needs some “quiet time.” Not only is having that personal space important, it’s equally important where that time is spent. Here are some places that people use as their private sanctuary:

The kitchen – There’s nothing like whipping up something great to inspire great thoughts. Whether it’s chopping up potatoes, mixing cake batter or even washing dishes it can be very soothing to be alone & working with my hands. Whether it’s sunny outside or even raining, sometimes staring out of the kitchen window can cause me to get lost in deep thought. Even standing over a hot stove can make me come with ideas I had never thought of before. The kitchen is definitely a good place to think.

The car – Driving alone in the car is one of the few times where you have pure solitude. You’re going somewhere which is all the more reason to think about the future. Where are you going in life? How are you going to get there? When do you plan on getting there? These are all “life” questions I ask myself whenever I drive alone.

The bathroom (don’t worry, this isn’t what you think) – Sometimes while I’m taking a hot shower I can actually get a lot of thinking done. The shower can be a very relaxing place, similar to a sauna, and there is nothing else for me to do but focus on cleaning myself & getting my thoughts together.

Really, your sanctuary can be just about anywhere, as long as it’s yours & yours alone.

Where is your private sanctuary? Is it somewhere in your home or a quiet place that no one knows about? Does anyone know about this place other than you?

Keep Trusting God For The Rest Of 2016!

I am thoroughly convinced that this year could be the best year of your life!
Whether it’s stepping out on faith into your purpose and calling, a promotion on the job or a new job, receiving the manifestation of God’s promises to You, or simply coming into full realization of how special, wonderful and worthy you are to be the best and receive the best; get ready for all God has in store.
For the rest of this year, choose not to worry or fret about your future.

Put it all in God’s hands; trust Him fully and completely; do His will for your life right now and focus on what He wants you to do. (1 Corinthians 7:32)
Concerning your desire for a mate (if that’s your desire), remember that God has not forgotten you, He always has you on His mind; even while you’re asleep; He simply wants what’s best for you and for you to trust Him with your life.
So this year, trust God and don’t fret.
If doubt, fear, and worry creep into your mind or heart, bind it out loud in the Name of Jesus! (Matthew 16:19)
Don’t allow past or present circumstances to determine your destiny or predict your future; put it in the Lord’s hands and trust that He holds the key to your dreams and all you could ever wish for and more.

Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,  Ephesians 3:20

 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:  1 Corinthians 7:32

2016
*Originally published on Kim on the Web.

28, No 29 Reasons Why We Still Need A Black History Month

With everything going on, many question the need for Black History Month 150 years after slavery. Well here are 29 GOOD reasons why this country needs to continue to celebrate Black History Month every February. Click on the picture to read more:

  1. Oscars
  2. ALM 2
  3. Starwars boycott
  4. Rancic
  5. nshirt
  6. Charleston9
  7. CEO
  8. SandraBland
  9. FGray
  10. Mizzou
  11. blackface
  12. Cam Newton
  13. cornrows
  14. Connecticut
  15. classroom dragged
  16. Harvard
  17. Miami
  18. Flint
  19. SCOTUS
  20. Racist cop
  21. TX pool party
  22. Wine train
  23. MLynch
  24. Loretta Lynch
  25. Oklahoma
  26. Hospital
  27. wealth gap
  28. Dolezal

 

Yep, all of these events took place in 2015. Remember to click on the picture to read more about it. Which of them do you remember?