Tag: Kids

Chocolate Vent: Top Blogs of 2014

As 2014 comes to a close, I thought I would highlight my top blogs of the year. These are some of the blogs that received the most views, clicks & generated the highest amount of comments throughout the year. Click on each title to enjoy! –


Do I Pass The “Pretty Feet” Test? – Men seem to take great interest in women’s feet. How good they look, what color the nail polish is and whether or not a woman has flat feet, bunions, corns or just straight ugly feet. Why is this such a big deal? Since when did nice looking feet become part of the dating criteria? I do take care of my feet, but if a man is that concerned he should be making sure his feet look as good as mine!


Men With Kids, Need Not Apply: Why I Prefer To Date Men Who Don’t Have Children – Everybody has baggage but I am not interested in a full set of luggage! As a little girl, I dreamt of becoming a wife & a mother, but never the wife of someone’s father or a stepmother. There are so many issues in dating and marrying someone who has children and I know that I am just not cut out for it. So if you are someone’s ‘baby daddy’- keep it movin!


Am I Wasting My Youth By Not Having Enough Sex? – Sex is a very intimate decision between a man & a woman and should not be made lightly. It’s very easy to come by when you’re younger but as you age, finding someone to “hookup” with becomes more & more difficult. The question then becomes: Should you start sleeping around while you’re still young enough to enjoy it?!


Why I Don’t Do Coffee Dates– There comes a time in a every lady’s life when she expects to go out on ‘grownup dates’. Men, this means picking her, taking her to a nice dinner, engaging in meaningful conversation and ending the date in a courteous & respectful manner. We could even go bowling, to a show or even a sporting event. Inviting me out for coffee should NEVER be an option. Read the full post to see why I don’t do coffee dates.


I also wrote several blogs centered around my time at the gym. Whether it was about the weird grunting noises at the weight machines to people wearing the wrong workout outfit, I’ve probably written about it. If you’re ready to laugh, click on the title to what see exactly what I’m talking about!

Well, I hope you enjoyed my writings in 2014. There’s lots more to come in the New Year!!!


Pregnancy Is Not Pretty!

September is the most popular month to give birth. With close to 4 million births last year, it’s apparent that the majority of these newborns were conceived in those winter months (which will be coming up soon!). According to Baby Center, the most popular day for babies to make their entrance into the world is Tuesday, followed by Monday. Sunday is the slowest day. Scheduled C-sections and induced labors have a big influence on the fact that fewer babies are born on the weekend but spontaneous (non-scheduled) deliveries occur less often on the weekend too.

So…….since this is the most popular birthmonth, I thought I’d share some of the most interesting pregnancy photos I’ve ever seen. Enjoy viewing these expectant mothers (along with my commentary, of course) –

pregnant 19

This is actually pretty funny. She is doing everything you’re NOT supposed to do when you’re pregnant but everything you CAN do after you have the baby. Cheers!

pregnant 4

Um, I thought the sonogram was supposed to be on the inside of the stomach, not the outside.

pregnant 1

This is just creepy.

pregnant 2

Cute – both have big bellies. Except hers is excusable, his is not.

pregnant 3

I hope this picture means she’s having a girl. If not – AWKWARD!

pregnant 5

Why is he pushing in her belly button? Does he think it’s a doorbell or something?!
And what’s with the all black outfits? Having a baby is supposed to be a joyous occasion, not a tragedy

pregnant 6

I hope she’s not seriously riding a horse while she’s that pregnant. This pose would be okay for her wedding day, but not for an “I’m pregnant” photo.

pregnant 7

Is that moss? What in the world?! Where is she & what scene is she trying to recreate? I just don’t get it…

pregnant 8

Okay, now they’re just showing us how they got pregnant in the first place. Gross!

pregnant 9

I hope they’re having a boy. Otherwise, this is just weird.

pregnant 10

Okay, I hope this couple is having a girl. Otherwise, what in the world were they thinking? And why is he wearing a pair of jeans & a sleeveless shirt in a dance studio? Could he be any more under-dressed for this picture?

pregnant 11

I’m not quite sure what’s going on here – maybe she’s supposed to be in the ocean or maybe she’s like the fetus inside the womb. I’m not really sure. But whatever look she was going for, it’s not working for her.

pregnant 12

Okay, I get what they were going for here. Not all that funny, but they’re young so I guess it’s kinda cute.

pregnant 14

Just plain weird.

pregnant 15

Who uses their actual belly for the countdown to when they give birth? This reminds me of the movie Shawshank Redemption, in a strange sorta way.

pregnant 16

It’s a BOY!
(But then why are you in a flower field?!)

pregnant 17

I’m not quite sure what this is supposed to represent. The belly of Life? Or that your baby is “underground” waiting to blossom? Coincidentally, this is exactly what a funeral plot in a cemetery looks like.

pregnant 18

This is different! But I think I would much rather have a basketball cake than a basketball belly.

pregnant 13

Instead of taking this photo, I think the photographer should be calling 911. I hope that’s not how she takes a nap because she looks catatonic to me.


Gosh, this is a tough one. They all look so pregnant, actually the men more than the woman! But this will make for a funny family Christmas card!

What the heck were these expectant parents thinking? I wonder how long it took for them to look back on these photos in shame. If you know anyone who took “crazy” pregnancy photos, why did they do it? Furthermore, did anyone try to stop them? Please share in the comments section below –

August Is Spinal Muscular Atrophy Awareness Month!

August is SMA Awareness Month!! Spinal Muscular Atrophy, or SMA, is a disease that most people don’t know about. SMA is a motor neuron disease. It refers to a group of inherited diseases of the motor nerves that cause muscle weakness and atrophy (wasting).The motor neurons affect the voluntary muscles that are used for activities such as crawling, walking, head and neck control, and swallowing. It is a relatively common “rare disorder”: approximately 1 in 6000 babies born are affected and about 1 in 40 people are genetic carriers. In a person with mutated genes, this protein is absent or significantly decreased, and causes severe problems for motor neurons. Motor neurons are nerve cells in the spinal cord which send out nerve fibers to muscles throughout the body. Since SMN protein is critical to the survival and health of motor neurons, nerve cells may shrink and eventually die without this protein, resulting in muscle weakness. As a child with SMA grows, it is difficult for his/her weakened muscles to keep up with the demands of daily activities. The resulting weakness can also lead to bone and spine changes that may cause breathing problems and further loss of function.

SMA affects muscles throughout the body. In the most common types, weakness in the legs is generally greater than in the arms. Sometimes feeding, swallowing, and respiratory function (e.g., breathing, coughing, and clearing secretions) can be affected. When the muscles used for breathing and coughing are affected and weakened, this can lead to an increased risk for pneumonia and other respiratory infections, as well as breathing difficulty during sleep. The brain’s cognitive functions and the ability to feel objects and pain are not affected. People with SMA are generally grouped into one of four types (I, II, III, IV) based on their highest level of motor function or ability.

Here are some Spinal Muscular Atrophy facts (according to the Families of SMA organization):

  • One in every 6,000 babies is born with SMA
  • SMA can strike anyone of any age, race or gender
  • One in every 40 people carries the gene that causes SMA
  • The child of two carriers has a one in four chance of developing SMA
  • 7.5 million Americans are carriers
  • SMA does not affect sensation and intellectual activity in patients. It commonly is observed that patients with SMA are unusually bright and sociable

Read one mother’s journey about life with Spinal Muscular Atrophy – the ‘Tiffany Moore’s story’. Click here to find out how she dealt with amazing twin sons who were born with SMA. Learn about their personal story & the challenges they faced. You can also support the #MoreForMoore campaign by purchasing the Moore Campaign T-shirt and raise awareness for SMA!

So how can YOU make more people aware of SMA? Here are three great ideas:

1) Tell everyone

This idea has the benefit of not costing a thing. If you have a child with SMA or you have SMA yourself, you probably find that people are curious (to say the least). Don’t ignore them … teach them. Tell them about the disease and what it does, then tell them about this website and how they can help.

2) Donate

Fighting a killer takes money, and while we understand that times are tight and it costs a lot to care for someone with SMA, a donation of any amount can help. Your gift to FightSMA will fund life-saving science and research, and also makes possible programs offering support to families battling SMA.  Click here to donate.

3) Lobby your legislator

The National Pediatric Research Nework Act will soon be up for a vote in the U.S. Senate. This legislation would drastically improve our ability to find a treatment for SMA and could make finding a cure a reality. Click here to read help with how to contact your senator.

Unfortunately, at this time there is no cure for SMA. However, research aimed at finding a treatment or cure for SMA is moving rapidly forward. Much of this research is focused on SMN2, a gene that partially compensates for the function of the gene (SMN1) that, when mutated (abnormal), is the cause of most cases of SMA.

Thanks to the support of our community, there’s great reason for hope. We know what causes SMA and what we need to do to develop effective therapies, and we’re on the verge of major breakthroughs that will strengthen our children’s bodies, extend life, and eventually lead to a cure.



* If you know someone who has been recently diagnosed with SMA please e-mail infopack@fsma.org to request a free informational packet. For more information, visit any of the following organizations:

Should I Really Have A Baby?

She asked me the question because she was on the fence about whether she should have a baby. I remember that time in my life. I think I’m still at that time in my life. Should I have kids? But she was asking me seriously. I was her closest friend with real baby insight. What was the deal? Do the heart-melting moments outweigh the bad stuff and make it totally worth it?

Well… Yesno.

As usual, I am a focus group of one. There seem to be a lot of people out there who think having (and rearing) babies is The Most Fun Ever. They are all like, “Oh my God! And then I get to quit my job and FINALLY buy that house in the ‘burbs and make crafts All. Day. Long. and sing songs and, OMG, I cannot wait!” And I think those people are incredible. (Don’t get me wrong, I love crafts as much as the next gal. I just like to do adult crafts. Alone.) Those people have a different genetic makeup than I do. I think my kid is awesome. All two hours a day I spend with him after living the working mom dream. And then I like to put him to bed and think about how I can’t go anywhere because it’s basically illegal to leave the house. JUST IN CASE. (There’s a lot of “just in case” in parenting. I want to tell people to go ahead and stop talking to me, just in case I get violent.)

But when posed the question, “It is totally worth it?”, I really can’t answer simply. On the one hand, I have a tiny

person: I own a 28-inch human being. He has tiny human pants and little New Balance sneakers and he thinks I am awesome. Like, really awesome. He sees me and he’s all, “Oh thank God it is you! I have been waiting on you since forever and I have no concept of time so that’s basically my whole life!” And he smiles and makes “ahhoooohhh” noises that are pretty funny because he thinks I’m absolutely following what he’s telling me. Mimic him and his mind is blown. We speak the same language!

No, shrunken human, I have no idea what you’re getting at.

But then other times he is a tiny life terrorist. He’s the biggest, most selfish ass in the history of the world. He wants what he wants when he wants it and that’s exactly 30 seconds before it’s humanly possible for me to have it. All the toys in the world are meaningless compared to an outlet or a live wire or anything else that could instantly kill him. He stole everything I knew: my life, my professional life, my social life, my sex life. I now spend evenings putting meat into a blender and then tasting it. Pureed meat! Sh*t ain’t right. He’s turned our cat into a manic-depressive who no longer stares out the window, but rather throws his body against the screen in an attempt to break through and plunge to his death.

And some of those things, like slaving over homemade baby food and losing the love of the family cat, are OK. His cuteness does make those things worth it. But the other stuff? The loss of anything that resembles my former life? That’s where things get complicated. When he wakes up screaming bloody murder just moments after I put him down, right as the wine is about to hit my lips, only to smile and laugh when I go into his room, I frankly think him a deviant little f*ck. A tiny human who was sent to this earth to make me think long and hard about who I am and what I believe.

But that’s not an answer. So I answer like this:

Having a baby is like losing your leg and winning the lottery. Winning the lottery does not make it OK that you’re without your leg, but it does give you enough of a distraction that you don’t completely lose your mind. Yes, your leg is missing, but you’re on a yacht. Would you rather be in a trailer with a leg? Who knows. Guess it depends on whether you felt like going for a jog.

My leg is gone. Blown to smithereens. I have to relearn to walk and dance and run and do everything else I used to know how to do, but I won the lottery, so that’s going to help.

Of course I miss not having a baby. When people say things like, “I don’t even remember what it was like!”, I cannot relate. I remember exactly what it was like. IT WAS AMAZING. I drank in real bars on weeknights. I made last-minute plans. I could get on an airplane without two Xanax and a booster brew and a sincere prayer that the small boy doesn’t freak out at 30,000 feet. When I made a decision, it was with very little other than my own comfort and convenience in mind. Those things come dead last now. If they come at all.

I can’t tell you whether having kids will be worth it for you. And that whole, “We are waiting until we’re ready” thing? Right. You are never ready for this. When the tiny human cometh, all bets are off. And from then on, the question is never again whether or not it’s worth it. The question is how you make it worth it for them.

crying baby 1

*Article originally published on Huffington Post.

A Child Is Only As Good As Their Father

Father’s Day is here so I thought this would be the perfect time to acknowledge all of the dads around the country. Unfortunately, society is so hard on men. There are so many fathers who may be unemployed, incarcerated, abusive or just plain deadbeats but what about the men who are good fathers to their children? What about the men who do the right thing because they know it’s what they’re supposed to do?

As a woman I get tired of having to defend fathers, particularly the ones who want to be good fathers but the mothers of their children won’t let them (which will be a whole other post). I believe that having a father is critical to successfully raising a young boy or girl. Without them, the person that suffers the most is not the mother or the father, it’s the child. Study after study has revealed that children continue to fare better when their father is in their life especially if they live in the same home. Children are less likely to be incarcerated, drop out of school, exhibit behavioral problems and fare much better academically. It’s no secret that 2 is always better than 1, especially when it comes to raising (and paying) for children. Am I saying it’s the only way to raise a child? No, but having a father in the picture is certainly vital to raising a good kid. Children NEED their fathers.

Now a “father” may look different for different families. He may be in the form of a stepfather, a grandfather or even an uncle or male mentor. I’m certainly not saying that a good father figure has to be the child’s biological father. But the fabric of who we are is made up of where we come from. That includes our background, our personal experiences and most importantly our mother & father.

I take issue when people don’t hold their father in the same high esteem as their mother. The explanation is usually that their dad didn’t do anything for them & wasn’t around to help raise them. But that’s no excuse as to why you can’t honor the person whose very blood you carry in your veins. If your father was an absentee dad then that is a good example for you on what not to do for your children. That can drive you to be the very best father for your own children so that you don’t repeat his mistakes. Not to mention, your mother saw something in him to begin with otherwise how do you think you got here?!

So whether your dad was present in your life or not, you are who you are because of who he was.

Father and Son_grown 2

Out Of The Mouth Of Babes

Author’s Note: Children in a Christian school are sometimes given a Bible chapter to read and then give a report on what they believe it said. Here are some out-takes, misspelled words and all. Enjoy…

1. In the book of Guinessis God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.

2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.

3. Noah’s wife was Joan of Ark and the animals came on in pears.

4. Lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.

5. The Jews were a proud people throughout history. They had trouble with unsympathatic genitals.

6. Samson was a strong man who let himself be led astray by a Jesebel like Delilah.

7. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles.

8. Moses led the Jews to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.

9. The Egyptians were all drowned in the desert. Afterwards Moses went up to Mount Cianide to get the ten commandments.

10. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

11. The seventh commandment is Thou shalt not admit adultery.

12. Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

13. The greatest miricle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still, and he obeyed him.

14. Solomon, one of David’s sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

15.When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

16. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived they found Jesus in the manager.

17. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

18. St. John the blacksmith dumped water on people’s heads.

19. Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which  says to do unto others before they do one to you. He also explained a man doth not live my sweat alone.

20. It was a miricle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.

21. The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.

22. The Epistels were the wives of the Apostles.

23. One of the oppossums was St. Mathew who was also a taximan.

24. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached Holy Acrimony, which is another name for marriage.

25. Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.


*This article was originally published on Richardmax22.