Tag: Girlfriend

Is He Cheap Or Does He Just Have Bad Taste?

I’ve gotten some pretty good gifts from my ex-boyfriends and the men that I’ve dated. Everything from clothes to jewelry & everything in between. I’ve mostly enjoyed them not because they were free but because they were things that either reflected my personal taste or were things I actually needed. With that said, I’ve also received some pretty bad gifts ranging from household appliances to gift cards (more about why I think that’s a bad gift in another post).

Now it’s not so much that the gifts themselves were horrible, it’s the fact that it seems as if the men who gave them to me didn’t put much effort or thought into what they gave me. It’s as if they didn’t know me very well since they were gifts that I didn’t really want or even like.

Some gifts that were given to me were just in poor taste. Who gives a woman dishes & kitchen appliances as a birthday gift? And tacky ones at that? This screams tasteless to me. What about a used gift? I’ve gotten some of those before – the wrapper was gone, the edges were already crinkled or there was already some “mysterious” stain on the gift. What is that about? This makes me think that the men who gave me these gifts were just plain cheap. Too cheap to buy me something new or original. They know that they have to buy a gift but they don’t want to invest their money in getting something nice for me. I think a lot of men try to cut corners by getting “imitation” gifts. Surely, some of you women have received these gifts. If you don’t think so, just grab a magnet & test that ‘so-called’ solid gold jewelry of yours.

I thought the whole purpose of a gift was for the recipient to enjoy their gift. Yes, gift giving is about thought. But men, next time please think of what I’d like not what you’d like me to have.

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It’s Days Like Today When I Wish I Had A Boyfriend

My car battery broke down today. Well, it really happened yesterday but I’m still dealing with it today. I actually noticed the problem on Sunday because on my way to church my engine was having issues. When I put the key in the ignition all I heard was a clicking noise and I had to try 2-3 times before the engine actually started. I didn’t think too much of it and was just glad to be able to make it to the house of the Lord without any problems. After church the car did start but, again, it didn’t start right away. I had plans on Sunday afternoon but I canceled them because I didn’t want my car to get stuck.

Monday morning I had a very important meeting to go to so I made sure to leave my home extra early, in case there were any problems with starting my car. I made it to my meeting on time (early actually) but instead of dealing with the hassle of it all after the meeting, I decided to call a tow truck. So now I’ve got AAA involved. The tow truck comes but it’s not the one that I ordered. I specifically asked for a flatbed truck – you know the kind of truck that your car sits on top of, but that’s not what they sent me. They sent me a smaller truck instead – the kind that pulls your car behind it – so I turned it away. After waiting 30 minutes for the original tow truck, I now had to wait an additional 20 minutes for the actual truck that I ordered in the first place.  So the tow driver gets in my car & much to my chagrin it starts with no problem. He asked me if I still wanted a tow since my car was now running. I told him that since he was already there and I had been having problems with my car earlier that he should just go ahead & tow it directly to the mechanic. (Plus I never get to use my AAA card, so why the heck not?!)

When I got to my mechanic I waited for 2 hours while he replaced the battery. When he came to tell me my car was ready he also told me that the battery seemed rather new and I should check to see if there was a warranty on it. That’s when it dawned on me that I had replaced my car battery a couple of years ago at a local Sear’s auto repair shop. Shoot!

When my car was ready I paid the bill and raced home to look up my old car repair receipts. Sure enough my car battery was replaced in November, 2010 meaning I was just one month shy of the 3-year warranty. The faulty battery was still under warranty. Yippee! Well, now I wanted my money back especially since I couldn’t return the new battery. But wait, in order to make good on the warranty Sears needed to have the old battery back. Are you following me so far?

In order to release the bad battery so that I could take it back to Sears my mechanic needed to have a battery in its place. Kind of like collateral, you could say. Apparently, there is a disposal fee for car batteries and if my mechanic wasn’t actually going to dispose of my battery then he needed to dispose of another battery in its place. So here I am at Sears with the old battery and realized that they will have to keep that battery so that they can send it back to the manufacturer. Now what am I to do? I have a new battery under my hood, the faulty battery in my trunk and now a brand new battery to take home. Oh but wait, I still need to take a battery back to the mechanic. I asked the guys at Sears if they had an old junk battery that I could take off their hands but they didn’t. I didn’t want to give my mechanic the new Sears battery, because it’s brand new and he might just try to sell it to someone else (and we can’t have that, can we?!). I didn’t have an old battery to give to him & I certainly can’t return the new battery he just installed in my car, so what’s a girl to do?!

Its days like this, I wish I had a man to take care of this stuff for me. I mean all this running around and dealing with my car has really taken a toll on me. I’m able to handle it all, but it would be sooo nice to have a man in my life that can handle things like this. A boyfriend who can tell me not to worry, will get my car fixed and deal with the whole battery situation. (Side note: Do men ever have situations where they wish they had a woman in their life?)

Anyway, until that day comes I guess I’ll just keep handling my business on my own like I always have. I just hope to have a man soon enough that can take care of all the “manly” things in my life so I can focus on the “womanly” things. =)

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(In case you’re wondering, I ended up taking the brand new battery with me and plan on selling it to the highest bidder. No I wasn’t able to return the new battery so I ended up paying the mechanic the disposal fee out of my own pocket)

Don’t Assume Just Because I’m Dating That I’m Having Sex

I think nowadays it’s assumed that if 2 people are dating they’re having sex. But that’s not always the case. I have been out on plenty of dates and haven’t slept with any of them. I have also dated men for long periods of time (boyfriends included) and not slept with them either. So I know firsthand that it is very possible to date & not have sex. Sometimes I like to just get out & have a nice time on a date without involving intercourse. Every man I share a cocktail with isn’t worth me sharing my body with.

Is it so bad not to sleep with every person you date? Is it so wrong not to sleep with a person just because you’re dating them exclusively or in a committed relationship? I don’t think so. It takes a long time to get to know a person and it’s usually best to do that without involving sexual intimacy. If you date a lot then you definitely shouldn’t be sleeping around (can you say whore?).

Let’s look at Taylor Swift. As we all know Taylor Swift dates a lot, but hopefully doesn’t sleep with every man that she dates. She’s only 23 years old, but she’s been romantically linked to at least a dozen different men including Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Lautner. Now I’m no mathematician but if you’ve been caught with 10-12 men and you’re only in your early twenties, then that’s a problem. Every man Taylor is dating shouldn’t be getting “some” from her. Now do you see what I mean?! Dating shouldn’t always mean sex.

So my thoughts are this: You don’t need to have sex just to have fun. If you’re dating for fun then do just that – have fun!

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Why Do We Keep Friends That We Shouldn’t?

How many friends do we keep that we shouldn’t? In other words, do you have people in your life that you confide in, hang out with or keep in touch with that do things that you disagree with morally?  I do. And I have friends that do as well (hopefully I’m not the friend that they shouldn’t be keeping around!).

I do wonder why we keep these people in our lives. If I know that someone is doing something that is reprehensible, immoral or even illegal how can I truly look them in the eye & call them my friend? Should I cut their friendship off? Or make some new friends that share my morals?

I’ll give you a prime example: I have a friend who has admitted to cheating on her husband. Now I don’t condone anyone cheating – if they’re in a relationship let alone if they’re married – but I’ve known her for a long time so why wouldn’t I want to remain friends with her? We’ve all heard the expression “birds of a feather flock together”, but that doesn’t mean I’ll commit adultery when I get married. I also have friends who know men that disrespect women or deal with ‘street pharmaceuticals’, yet they still maintain those friendships.

What gives? Do we keep these friendships out of loyalty or obligation? Or for fear that making new friends come with new risks? Is the history we have with these friends worth more than where these friendships may lead?  All I know is that I do have people in my life I probably shouldn’t keep but I am not ashamed of these friendships.

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When Is It Time To Give Up On Love?

I know that you can fall in love at any time during your life, but what if that time never comes?

Can you really go your entire life without meeting “the one?” Some would argue that everyone gets at least one chance at love but may miss out for one reason or another (for instance, the timing just wasn’t right, etc.). Is it possible that we can have true love right in front of us and not realize? Or perhaps we just rationalize that it was never really love to begin with.

I’m not sold on the idea that you need to be in love to have a successful marriage (that’ll be another post, for another day). But I am starting to wonder whether or not it’s worth holding out for love to get married. I think that marriage is more about compatibility than anything else. So if I meet someone that I’m completely compatible with but don’t love why wouldn’t I consider marrying that person? I can’t tell the future (of course), but I’m willing to bet that it’ll be a lot easier to find someone that I’m compatible with versus someone that I truly love.

So with that line of thinking, I sometimes wonder if it’s best to just give up on finding love. Plus, everyone wasn’t meant to be married. There are more women on this earth than men and from what I hear it gets harder to meet someone the older you get. With all of these things working against women, maybe it is a waste of time to think that we’ll find true love.

Now, I’m not saying I’m ready to crawl into a cave just yet but in the back of my mind I wonder if I’m wasting my time hoping for something that will never come…..

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Girlfriends ARE Sexier Than Wives

This is an interesting article that I read this morning, written by Gina B. from Six Brown Chicks. I must say that I agree with her wholeheartedly. Of course, sexy is in the eye of the beholder but you can’t argue that once you’re married the “chase” is gone. There are many, many benefits to marriage but the element of keeping it sexy is easier without the “burden” of being a wife.

Maintaining your sexiness takes work after you get married and is probably less of a priority than when you were single. When you throw children into the mix, a mortgage and other family needs, things like shaving your legs everyday or wearing lingerie to bed usually take a backseat. I’m all for keeping things hot and perhaps the definition of sexy changes once you get married, but you can’t disagree that it is easier to keep it sexy because you want to, not because you have to.

Read the article below –

               Wife Versus Girlfriend — Who Is Sexier?

I’ve been in a relationship for a while now, which means that everyone demands to know when we’re getting married.  Oddly, that question bothers my boyfriend FAR less than it annoys me.  I avoid the question for a few reasons.  First, my decision to change my marital status is nobody’s business.  And if I’m being honest? I don’t think that the concept of being a wife is all that sexy.

To be clear . . . I’m not talking about women who choose to be the girlfriend, as in “other woman.”  I’m referring to a monogamous relationship where there is a consideration to make the transition from girlfriend to wife.

My opinion has been shaped by watching good friends and colleagues evolve from single to married, and how their lives and perceptions of their spouses have changed over the years.

My theory is unsettling to several people – especially the couples who disagree, and those whose lifelong ambitions have been to say “I do.”  But before becoming offended, I invite you to really think about it.

Here are the differences, as I see them:

Girlfriends are fun.  When a man goes public with a girlfriend, everyone is happy for him.  “Finally!”  they exclaim, “he has someone to have fun with, who’s good for him.”  If they like her, his friends will be excited to witness the relationship unfold and see where it leads.  The couple hangs out together and they play together — all efforts to get to know each other and maximize their experiences.  It’s very exciting and suspenseful – especially for the couples’ family and friends, who are voyeuristically sitting back with bowls of popcorn, watching, wondering and making suppositions as to whether or not the couple will “make it.”

Wives are serious.  Wives run households and take care of all of the people who reside within the four walls of their homes.  Wives have responsibilities and they sacrifice.   There’s no mystery.  The couple has crossed the marital finish line, and it’s time to start building a life together.  In some cases, date nights have to be created to keep the spark.  Nothing to see here, folks.  Keep it moving.

Girlfriends are voluntary.  There’s nothing that keeps a man there, except that he wants to be there.  There are no legal obligations.  No fear of financial ruin.  In most cases, there are no children to remain for.   It’s pure desire.

Wives are perceived as obligation.  I really REALLY hate hearing a man refer to his wife as “the old ball and chain,” or complaining because his wife is keeping him from doing something he’d rather be doing.  Yet I hear those things all of the time.  I’d be a gazillionaire if I had a dollar for every time I heard “I can’t that night.  There’s an event that my wife is making me attend” or “I’d better not, or my wife will kill me.”  Unfortunately, I rarely hear a married man say “I can’t WAIT to get home to my wife.”

Girlfriends are keeping it sexy.  As a girlfriend, there are a few things you know for sure:  1) Your man can leave you at any time, so you have to maintain your hotness.  2) If he does leave you, you’ll need the ability to attract a new one.  Most girlfriends stay on their game.

Wives?  Well . . . according to several men, many women make a distinct shift after getting married.  There’s less of a commitment to sexiness, and the complaint is that the “girlfriend version” is much hotter than the “wife version.”

Girlfriends are pursued.   Men enjoy the hunt, and girlfriends are the prey.  Men are known to make grand gestures to further engage a woman.

Wives are no longer pursued.  Men aren’t interested in pursuing what they’ve already won.  I’ve known men to completely change their behavior and demeanor once they’ve “closed the deal.” (To be fair, men don’t typically pursue any girlfriend they’ve had over six months.)

Girlfriends are supposed to be treated like princesses, who are youthful and to be indulged.

Wives are the queens, and while that is a revered position, hers is a more stately and administrative role.

As far as sex is concerned?  Well . . . we’ve all heard the complaints that the frequency of married sex is WAY slower than dating sex.

Disclaimer – if you’ve been in a long-term relationship for several years, you might have defaulted to spouse status without the legal paperwork.

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The direct link to this article can be found here: (http://www.chicagonow.com/six-brown-chicks/2013/04/wife-versus-girlfriend-who-is-sexier)

Dating Is More Expensive For Women Than It Is For Men

A male friend of mine was telling me of a conversation he had with one of his guy friends about the cost of dating. He figured that in one year he spent close to $10,000 in dating alone, between dinners, the movies, taking trips, black-tie events, gifts, concerts, etc. Now he may have been exaggerating a bit, but the discussion continued on about how expensive dating can be and how women don’t have to spend hardly anything. I adamantly disagreed with this and explained to my male friend that women have to spend money too. Dating isn’t free for us either.

After this conversation, I started to really think about how much I spend on dating. On average, men spend around $50 on a date – depending on where he lives – give or take. As a woman, my money is mostly spent on preparing for the date not to mention the dates that I do occasionally pay for. Hair appointments and nail appointments can cost over $100 easily. Not to mention new outfits, shoes & accessories. My friend was quick to point out that buying new clothes for a date isn’t necessary; therefore I couldn’t count that as a “dating expense”. I told him that it does count because although we women can wear the same clothes after a date, the new outfit would not have been purchased had it not been for that date. For example, if a man takes a woman out to dinner & spends $25 on her meal & $25 on his meal he won’t say the date only costs $25. Instead, he’ll say that the date was $50 – the total cost of the dinner. The argument is that he would not have spent $25 on his meal unless he was out on that date. So, it’s the same thing with a woman buying new clothes for a date. And as for getting my hair & nails done, it may not be necessary but it’s something that men certainly enjoy seeing.

And there’s more to it than just money. Women take a lot of time getting ready than men (between hair, makeup and the like) so not only does it cost us more money, we lose more time preparing for the date. And we all know that time is money.

So gentlemen, yes dating is expensive for women too!

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