Men, what would you teach your daughter that you wish your girlfriend or wife’s father had taught her?
Women, what would you teach your son that you wish your boyfriend or husband’s mother had taught him?
My parents have been married for over 30 years. Correction: My biological parents have been married for over 30 years. Although their marriage hasn’t been perfect and I’m sure there were times when one or both of them wanted to call it quits, they were committed to their marriage. They were committed to their commitment. And that’s exactly what I want in my mate.
Unfortunately, coming from a two-parent home seems to be a rarity these days (especially within the African American community and there are various reasons for that, all of which will have to go into another posting). Because of this it seems that a lot of men are not equipped for marriage, let alone to be a good husband or father. Now of course, there are some exceptions to this rule (President Barack Obama, for instance) but for the most part in order to be a good leader, you need a good example of leadership.
Sure, it’s nice to have a strong male example around like a grandfather or an uncle. But an example is not the same as the real thing. That’s like saying a substitute teacher is just as good as a regular teacher. While both might be good at teaching, it is always best for the students to have their full time teacher in the classroom.
Now don’t think I’m saying that having a bad father in the home is better than no father at all. But the argument for having a bad father in the home is that you can at least see what not to do. In other words, you are able to see how to overcome adversity when the strife is right in front of you. People always say that it’s not healthy for children to see their parents argue. But if you’ve never seen your mother & father argue and then make up, how can you possibly know how to handle arguments as the head of your own household? Yes, you don’t have to see an argument to know how to handle one, but it’s always better to learn by example rather than by trial & error.
Men like to think that they have so much to lose when they get married. But as a woman I have to give up a lot as well, particularly letting a man take over my household. I want a man who knows what he is doing. And if a man has never seen an example of how to lead how can I trust that he will know how to lead our household?
My friend recently gave birth and while I’m happy for her, I’m a little annoyed with all of the pictures she’s been sending of her newborn baby. I understand her excitement, this being her 1st child & all but still…..I don’t need another text message of her baby. I know this may sound mean (especially if you’re a mom), but it’s how I feel.
I just don’t understand why people think that everyone outside of their immediate family wants to see 10 million pictures of their baby. Especially as a newborn! Newborn babies don’t really look like much, at least not to me. (Can you tell I don’t have any kids?) To me all, and I do mean ALL newborn babies look pretty much the same. The only difference is the eye color and some have hair and some don’t. I never understood why people say “He looked just like his father when he was born.” Really? C’mon people, none of us looked like anyone when we were 1 hour old. Even my own mother says I looked like her when I was born but I compared my newborn picture to another Black baby picture and I gotta tell you, I couldn’t even tell the difference. I looked like every other newborn baby out there (I did have plenty of hair, though).
It is my friend’s first baby so I understand why she wants to share her pictures with the world. I just think that pictures of babies should be confined to family members and people who have actually asked for them.
At some point in the near future I will have to go visit her & the new baby but I am not looking forward to it. Similar to baby showers, I just don’t know how many times I can “oh & ah” over someone’s baby. (That’ll be another post, I’m sure)
Because I’m her friend, I did send her congratulatory messages but I think I may have to turn off my phone for a while so I don’t get any more of her baby pics.
(You can not tell me that all these babies don’t look very similar)