Tag: Courting

Yes, I Am Using You (After All, Dating Is Practice For Marriage)

Isn’t dating just “practice” for the real thing – marriage? According to Wikipedia, dating is defined as a form of courtship consisting of social activities between two people with the aim of each assessing the others suitability as a partner & is usually a pre-cursor to marriage. Dating is an opportunity to meet and get to know different types of people. The purpose of dating is to learn who & what it is you really like in a person. Dating should expand your view of what you find attractive in a potential mate. You can observe, notice and get to know different types of people and possibly discover things about yourself that you may have never known before. You can monitor your feelings & reactions, to different personalities and character traits as you meet different people.

Dating lets you practice how to relate to people of the opposite sex. If you need to learn how to open up and talk about yourself, your feelings, and your wants, practice it in dating. If you need to learn how to confront others and deal with conflict, practice it in dating. Or maybe you need to learn how to listen to others, and be less self-centered. Dating is a place where you can improve upon your own faults as well.

I see dating as a wonderful time to find out about myself. To find out how I need to change myself to attract the mate I am looking for. Dating is give and take. Dating is a time to show others what being treated well looks like. I use dating as an opportunity to love and serve others so that when it is time for me to get married, I will be well equipped to love & serve my husband.

Dating is a place to find a mate by experiencing, learning, and growing. But until that time comes, you can learn about what it is you like and don’t like, and best of all have fun.

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When A Guy Isn’t a Gentleman Is His Mom To Blame?

Between my male relatives, dating and having a lot of guy friends I have come across a lot of men. And I don’t know if I should just chalk it up to “it’s a new era” or something else but men just aren’t gentlemen anymore. At least not the kind my father taught me to appreciate.

I realize that this is the 21st century and new times call for new dating practices but there are certain things that are just unacceptable when courting a woman that a man should have been taught. So my question is: Who do I blame for a man not being a gentleman – him or his mother?

Some examples of being a gentleman include:

  • Opening the door (all doors, including the car door)
  • Paying for the date
  • Compliments
  • Tasteful conversation
  • No pressure of intimacy
  • Being considerate to a woman’s friends & family
  • Offering to help when help is needed

Men don’t seem to offer these qualities anymore and I would dare say it’s because they probably don’t feel as though they have to. There are plenty of women that would allow a man to get away with treating her less than she deserves so the bar has been lowered for a lot of men. My contention is that just because other women have lowered their standards, doesn’t mean that I should accept less from any man. I still expect to be treated a certain way when dating a man (and yes, I treat him the way I want to be treated) but that’s becoming harder & harder to come by.

So, who do I blame – Other women for allowing men to treat them less than they deserve, the man himself or do I blame his parents for not raising him to be the gentleman I deserve?

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