Tag: Buzzfeed

The 23 Worst Things That Could Happen On The 4th Of July

1. Your night could be ruined because some guy set all the fireworks off at once.

The 23 Worst Things That Could Happen On The 4th Of July

2. You could attempt to make this beautiful cake. And it ends up looking like you already ate the cake, barfed it up, and put it back together.

3. You could go to Best Buy to get a sound system for your backyard BBQ and be scared shitless to even go a step further.

You could go to Best Buy to get a sound system for your backyard BBQ and be scared shitless to even go a step further.

4. You could live in this town.

You could live in this town.

5. You could buy these fireworks and then all you can think of is sexy, electric pee all day.

You could buy these fireworks and then all you can think of is sexy, electric pee all day.

6. This man could come to your party.

This man could come to your party.

7. Or this clever gentleman could photobomb the sweet portrait you and your BFF just tried to take.

Or this clever gentleman could photobomb the sweet portrait you and your BFF just tried to take.

8. This.

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9. Or you could know the person who makes this nearly impossible-to-make mistake.

Or you could know the person who makes this nearly impossible-to-make mistake.

10. The moment you realize your patriotism only goes so far.

The moment you realize your patriotism only goes so far.

11. You could be this dog.

You could be this dog.

12. Or this cat.

Or this cat.

13. You could end up in the emergency room because your friend thought he was Captain America.

The 23 Worst Things That Could Happen On The 4th Of July

14. Your children could meet this man. And then they never sleep again.

Your children could meet this man. And then they never sleep again.

15. Your custom cake could end up like this. You’re drunk, cake. Go home, cake.

Your custom cake could end up like this. You're drunk, cake. Go home, cake.

16. You could end up at a party in this park. Aka, the most UN-American park there is.

You could end up at a party in this park. Aka, the most UN-American park there is.

17. Your uncle could get drunk and do this immature trick all day long.

17 v2

18. Aliens could invade the earth and kill you.

Aliens could invade the earth and kill you.

19. Whatever bright idea happened five seconds after this photo was taken.

Whatever bright idea happened five seconds after this photo was taken.

20. You could anger this intense man.

The 23 Worst Things That Could Happen On The 4th Of July

21. You could be poor individual who lost a bet and his friends made him do this.

22. You could just be driving your car when all of a sudden:

The 23 Worst Things That Could Happen On The 4th Of July

23. Presented without comment.

Presented without comment.

Be safe this 4th, y’all.

*This article was originally published on Buzzfeed.

Bread, I Love You!

The Definitive Ranking Of Free Restaurant Bread

17. Logan’s Roadhouse Rolls

Flickr: silvercreek78250 / Via Creative Commons

These rolls are delectable. Immersed in buttery goodness, generally warm to the touch, ready to melt in your mouth. Grab a napkin, mouths have started to water.

16. Fazoli’s Breadsticks

Flickr: sloshay / Via Creative Commons

Is there anything better than free breadsticks? Probably not. While you might have had better breadsticks in your life, you won’t be able to stop yourself from continuously asking for a breadstick refill. Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us.

15. Ruby Tuesday’s Biscuits

Flickr: calamity_hane / Via Creative Commons

What’s better than the Ruby Tuesday’s salad bar? Their complimentary biscuits. A warm cheddar-y explosion in your mouth. They’re so small, go ahead and eat the whole plate.

14. Longhorn Steakhouse Rolls

Flickr: 22280677@N07 / Via Creative Commons

Usually, anytime you have to slice your own bread at restaurants you’re probably like, “Really? Lame.” But at Longhorn it’s OK since that way you can slice a giant piece for yourself without feeing guilty.

13. Cracker Barrel Biscuits and Corn Muffins

Flickr: mulmatsherm / Via Creative Commons

Whether slathered with butter and jam or simply with gravy, both are delectable and the perfect accompaniment to your Southern breakfast. Plus, if you’re too full after your meal you can chill on one of the $199 rockers that are out front of every restaurant.

12. Romano’s Macaroni Grill Rosemary Bread

Flickr: beautifulcataya / Via Creative Commons

Rosemary may not be everyone’s groove, but in this case it should be since this bread is tasty and legit. Dense and chewy in just the right way, it is just one more stop on your road to carb heaven.

11. Johnny Carino’s Bread

Flickr: darktek13 / Via Creative Commons

Johnny Carino’s delivers bread with the perfect amount of crunchy exterior paired with a soft doughy center. You might not even want to order dinner. However, beware of the extra crunchy loaves, or you’ll have breadcrumbs in places no bread crumb has ever traveled before.

10. Carrabba’s Bread

Flickr: lorenia / Via Creative Commons

Your love affair with bread will only heighten after a visit to Carrabba’s. It might not be the best you’ve ever had, but it’s sure close.

9. Buca Di Beppo Bread

Flickr: chiragnd / Via Creative Commons

When you think of the ideal crispy bread, this is it. That audible crunch as you take your first bite can only be outdone by the flavor. And good lord, THE FLAVOR.

8. O’Charley’s Rolls

O’Charley’s / Via facebook.com

You can smell the wholesome goodness of these babies before they even arrive at your table. These rolls are so warm, buttery, and soft…you can’t have just one.

7. Outback Steakhouse Bread

Flickr: roboppy / Via Creative Commons

“That ain’t a bread loaf. This is a bread loaf!” – If Crocodile Dundee was your waiter at Outback.

But seriously, this big hunk of soft, dark bread with a crunchy crust is pretty great.

6. The Cheesecake Factory Bread

Flickr: rosietulips / Via Creative Commons

What’s better than free bread? Two different kinds! Plus, if you manage to have any bread leftover at the end of your meal, Cheesecake Factory will pack it up for you to take home.

5. Mimi’s Cafe Bread Basket

Flickr: maynard / Via Creative Commons

If an assortment of bread is what you are looking for, an assortment of bread is what you will receive at Mimi’s Cafe. Rustic rolls, carrot bread, maybe even a goddamn muffin, Mimi’s hooks you up.

4. C&O Garlic Knots

Flickr: knile / Via Creative Commons

These would have ranked higher if not for the fact that they’re only available at two locations – C&O Cucina and C&O Trattoria – both in Marina Del Ray, Calif. Trust that they are well worth the trip from wherever you are, because these little morsels of garlicky dough are too good to be missed. Like, so good, that if a zombie apocalypse broke out, the cure might just be C&O’s garlic knots.

3. Texas Roadhouse Rolls

Flickr: jumble / Via Creative Commons

Two words: Cinnamon. Butter. If you’ve never tried them I feel bad for you and if you have I feel even worse, since you are probably thinking about them right now.

2. Olive Garden Breadsticks

Flickr: lmeguides / Via Creative Commons

A true classic. Big, doughy, and unlimited, they are the first thing to be devoured, and even after your meal you will still have room to eat one more. What else could be better?

1. Red Lobster Cheddar Bay Biscuits

Flickr: animakitty / Via Creative Commons

Does anyone even care that Red Lobster serves anything other than these? No, they don’t. There is almost nothing more intoxicating than the warm, herb and cheese smell wafting up from the little basket full of these bad boys. Seriously, these are heaven sent and the king of free restaurant bread.

The Definitive Ranking Of Free Restaurant Bread

*Originally published on Buzzfeed.

21 Problems All Sarcastic People Will Understand

1. Your sense of humor could be described as an “acquired taste.”

NBC / Via gifhell.com

2. Sarcasm slips out of your mouth so often that you often forget you’re doing it.

3. You have to tell people when you’re being serious, because they’re so used to you making jokes.

Chuck Lorre Productions / Via dancingmonstermermaid.tumblr.com

4. And since your default is sarcasm, you have a hard time turning it off when others need you to.

5. You’re never more on point than when you meet a fellow sarcastic person with whom you can trade quips.

Warner Bros.

6. Tough love has always been your thing, but no one else seems to like it.

Granada Entertainment / Via ayekabiznik.tumblr.com

I’m sorry for even saying it. Kind of.

7. It takes a LOT to get you excited.

8. And even when you do get excited, you still express it with sarcasm, which confuses everyone just the same.

Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures / Via Fox

9. Saying something sarcastic makes you feel better immediately afterward, even if the person you’re talking to doesn’t get it.

Columbia Pictures / Via jamesbadgedale.tumblr.com

10. You’ve had to say the words, “I’m just kidding,” at least once a week.

It’s a Laugh Productions / Via gifhell.com

11. In fact, you’ve learned the hard way that ending thoughts with “Just kidding!” is probably the safest thing to do.

World of Wonder / Via prettyvices.com

12. When you meet someone and you instantly hate them, you have a super hard time hiding it.

13. It’s gotten to a point where you mock others openly without even realizing you’re doing it.

DreamWorks SKG / Via insanejurytest.tumblr.com

Check yourself before you offend your soon-to-be in-laws.

14. People often say that you have an “attitude problem,” but those people clearly suck.

NBC / Via pandawhale.com

15. Your way of dealing with emotions is through sarcasm, which can sometimes work and other times…not so much.

Carousel Productions (II) / Via goodreads.com

16. And you have a hard time with compliments, in general.

It’s not that we don’t want to be complimented… we’re just not particularly good at hearing how wonderful we are.

17. People immediately know how you feel about something, whether you want them to or not.

Jeff Franklin Productions / Via whatshouldmyroomiescallme.tumblr.com

18. You’ve been called out for fake laughing before… oops!

VH1

19. When you meet someone who isn’t sarcastic, it kind of feels like talking to a baby.

You watch every damn word you say, but, at the same time, you can say whatever the fuck you want, and they probably won’t get it.

20. Sometimes you worry that you’re the only one who thinks you’re funny…

Apatow Productions / Via weheartit.com

21. But actually, the real problem is that you’re the funniest person in the whole damn room.

*Article originally published on Buzzfeed.com

The 31 Most Unfortunate Typos Of All Time*

1. This headline on a flag-disposal story:

2. This banner:
3. These instructions:

5. This nerve-inducing prescription:

7. This romance novel (wait for it):

8. This book opener:

9. This bargain:

10. This grocery ad:

11. This caption:

12. This receipt:

13. This chyron:

14. These signs:

(Snopes says this is real.)

15. This come-hither sign:

17. This menu offering:

18. This church bulletin:

19. This recipe:

20. This headline:

21. This Tom Daley Instagram fail:

22. This tribute went awry:

23. This weather forecast:

24. This regrettable error:

26. This Mitt Romney app:

27. This yearbook ad:

This yearbook ad:

28. This Sesame Street caption:

30. This George W. Bush-ian slip:

31. This:

This:

 

 *Originally published on Buzzfeed. Edited for brevity.

A Twentysomething Party Versus A Thirtysomething Party

In honor of the New Year’s celebration tonight, I thought I’d post another article from BuzzFeed. I can relate to many of these. Enjoy!
 

A Twentysomething Party Vs. A Thirtysomething Party
by Jessica Misener, BuzzFeed

 

Twentysomething party: The fun doesn’t really get going until 11:30 p.m.

 
A Twentysomething Party Vs. A Thirtysomething Party

Thirtysomething party: Everyone arrives promptly at 8.

 
A Twentysomething Party Vs. A Thirtysomething Party

Twenties: You invite a million people and don’t care how many people are coming.

 
A Twentysomething Party Vs. A Thirtysomething Party

Thirties: Your guest rolled in with five of her friends and didn’t RSVP???

 
A Twentysomething Party Vs. A Thirtysomething Party

Twenties: Just throw your stuff wherever, it doesn’t matter.

 
A Twentysomething Party Vs. A Thirtysomething Party

Thirties: You gather coats and put them on your bed. Or on an actual coatrack!

 

Thirties: You gather coats and put them on your bed. Or on an actual coatrack!

The punch at a twentysomething party: a vat of Sunkist orange soda and Popov.

 

The punch at a twentysomething party: a vat of Sunkist orange soda and Popov.

Thirties: EVERYONE brings a bottle of red wine.

 

Thirties: EVERYONE brings a bottle of red wine.

Twenties: huddling in the bedroom to do drugs.

 
A Twentysomething Party Vs. A Thirtysomething Party

Thirties: huddling in bedrooms to look at someone’s wedding dress Pinterest board.

 
A Twentysomething Party Vs. A Thirtysomething Party

At a twentysomething party: checking out someone.

 
A Twentysomething Party Vs. A Thirtysomething Party

Thirtysomething party: checking out someone’s Vitamix.

 

Thirtysomething party: checking out someone's Vitamix.

OMG, I’ve wanted one for so long. How is it????

Twentysomething party: dancing to the latest tunes.

 
A Twentysomething Party Vs. A Thirtysomething Party

Thirties: discussing your passionate feelings about Jonathan Franzen.

 

Thirties: discussing your passionate feelings about Jonathan Franzen.

Twentysomething party: Food is a couple of bags of random tortilla chips.

 

Twentysomething party: Food is a couple of bags of random tortilla chips.

Thirtysomething party: Someone brought something homemade and uber-fancy to show off how good they are at cooking.

 

Thirtysomething party: Someone brought something homemade and uber-fancy to show off how good they are at cooking.

Twentysomething party: Your neighbors ask you to turn the music down.

 
A Twentysomething Party Vs. A Thirtysomething Party

Thirties: YOU ask you to turn the music down.

 
A Twentysomething Party Vs. A Thirtysomething Party

Twenties: That one person brings an ironic six-pack of Smirnoff Ice.

 
A Twentysomething Party Vs. A Thirtysomething Party

Thirties: That one person brings their baby.

 
A Twentysomething Party Vs. A Thirtysomething Party

Twenties: getting mad when you catch people hooking up in your bedroom.

 
A Twentysomething Party Vs. A Thirtysomething Party

Thirties: getting mad when you catch a guest doing the dishes for you.

 
A Twentysomething Party Vs. A Thirtysomething Party

Twentysomething party games:

 

Thirtysomething party games:

 
A Twentysomething Party Vs. A Thirtysomething Party

Twenties: Take a bunch of shots with your fun quasi-alcoholic friend.

 
A Twentysomething Party Vs. A Thirtysomething Party

Thirties: Talk in concerned, hushed tones about how your quasi-alcoholic friend needs to “get it under control.”

 
A Twentysomething Party Vs. A Thirtysomething Party

Twenties: getting mad when people steal your stuff.

 
A Twentysomething Party Vs. A Thirtysomething Party

Thirties: getting mad when someone accidentally takes home your casserole dish instead of theirs.

 
A Twentysomething Party Vs. A Thirtysomething Party

After a party in your twenties: You let the mess linger for days. (Maybe even…weeks.)

 

After a party in your twenties: You let the mess linger for days. (Maybe even...weeks.)

Thirtysomething party: You clean up that night (and your friends pitch in!).

 
A Twentysomething Party Vs. A Thirtysomething Party

Twenties: After the party it’s the after-party, then after the party it’s the hotel lobby.

 
A Twentysomething Party Vs. A Thirtysomething Party

After a fun night with your friends, at any age:

 
A Twentysomething Party Vs. A Thirtysomething Party