Tag: Blogger

Where Are Your Boundaries?

Know your limits.
Before becoming involved in a situation, know what’s acceptable to you, and what isn’t. It’s best to be as specific as possible, or you might be pulled into the trap of giving just a little bit more, over and over, until you’ve given far too much.

Know your values.
Every person’s limits are different, and they’re often determined by their personal values. For example, if you value family above all else, this might lead to stricter limits on how late you will stay at work, away from family. Know what’s most important to you, and protect it.

Listen to your emotions.
If you notice feelings of discomfort or resentment, don’t bury them. Try to understand what your feelings are telling you. Resentment, for example, can often be traced to feelings of being taken advantage of.

Have self-respect.
If you always give in to others, ask if you are showing as much respect to yourself as you show to others. Boundaries that are too open might be due to misguided attempts to be liked by elevating other people’s needs above one’s own.

Have respect for others.
Be sure that your actions are not self-serving, at the expense of others. Interactions should not be about winning, or taking as much as possible. Instead, consider what’s fair to everyone, given the setting and relationship. You might “win”, but at the cost of a relationship’s long-term health.

Be assertive.
When you know it’s time to set a boundary, don’t be shy. Say “no” respectfully, but without ambiguity. If you can make a compromise while respecting your own boundaries, try it. This is a good way to soften the “no”, while showing respect to everyone involved.

Consider the long view.
Some days you will give more than you take, and other days you will take more than you give. Be willing to take a longer view of relationships, when appropriate. But if you’re always the one who’s giving or taking, there might be a problem

Quote of the Week: “YOU ARE TOO CHOSEN TO BE FROZEN”

Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you.” {John 15:16}

Your Destiny Awaits

During this season of singleness, I’d like to encourage you to use this time to not only enjoy life but to also really seek God and pray about your purpose.
Do you know your life’s mission?
Do you know why you were created?
Well, the person who knows the answer to all this and more is your Creator – God.
You may have sought God previously about your purpose and may not have received a response yet.  I’d like to encourage you to continue to press in and seek Him about it because it’s vital to your existence.
Some of the most depressed people in the world are people who never discovered their purpose and live to try and please other people all their lives instead of doing what it is God called and predestined them
to do. (Jeremiah 1:5)
If you’re still having problems hearing from God, examine your life right now i.e. who’s in it and who speaks into your life. Who influences you? Who do you confide in and who do you approach for advice making decisions? Then ask yourself if their advice is divinely inspired or is it led by the flesh or simply their own opinion which may not line up with the Word of God.
Who do you spend most of your time with?
If you’re in a relationship right now, does he cause you to grow in your relationship with God?
Do the two of you pray together and encourage each other in the things of God, or are ya’ll just “hanging out” and end up making out which leads to your having to repent seemingly every Sunday morning?
A relationship which causes you to draw away from God and focus all your attention on them instead of pursuing your purpose is a distraction.  Don’t let a distraction deter your destiny.
Trust me, I know how easy it is to be all in the clouds with someone only to realize later that it was nothing but a big ‘ole distraction which may have either stunted your spiritual growing or got you off course for the moment.
Thank God we serve a God of grace and mercy who has the awesome ability to reel us back on in as long as we continue to seek Him with a pure heart – He’ll make a way to get His Word to us, even when we act hardheaded sometimes.
So examine your relationships, ask God if those other persons should be allowed to continue to speak over or even be in your life then make the proper adjustments.
Your destiny awaits.
And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13
For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly. Psalm 84:11
*Originally published on KimontheWeb.com

Is It Me?

As single people get older, it’s natural to question why their status is still: Single.

I’m a good catch; why haven’t I been “caught” yet?

Is it me? Is it them?

Why can’t I find anybody?

How come I haven’t been found yet?

When am I going to meet someone special?

Why is everyone meeting someone but me?

Why is dating so hard?

What am I doing wrong?

You may have even questioned your looks or even your entire worth causing your self esteem to plummet. Perhaps it’s a “I want to repel everyone around me” vibe? Or perhaps it’s something about your personality that’s turning off the very people you’re trying to attract.

Worse yet, it could be that your standards are too lofty (not to you, of course but to everyone else). Is it something that you could be doing differently? Or is it time to “lower your standards” as it may have been suggested to you before?

Whatever the reason may be that you’re still single know that you are not the only one who feels this way. Lots of us are wondering what’s causing us to remain single and why it’s so hard to meet someone special. Find comfort in knowing that others are out there hoping to meet their future mate too – and you just may that one!

What are your thoughts? Sound off in the comments section below –

Follow Jesus More Than Trends

In today’s society of artistic expressions in the music and cinema worlds “gone wild” where it’s “all about me,” “I’m a star,” “I’m a goddess,” and “I want it all like yesterday and I don’t care who I step on to get it,” it’s easy to lose focus on the prize.
I’m not speaking of the prize of the “bling bling,” the fancy car and nice house or even winning the heart of the bachelor or becoming the next basketball wife and landing your own reality show.
I’m speaking of the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:14).
Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8). Yet in the world we live in now, what some call an “evolving society” is actually one that’s slowly but surely getting away from God and His principles, beliefs and value system.
In spite of the direction where the culture is headed, don’t let it take you somewhere you shouldn’t go.
Don’t let it take you away from the God you serve.
Don’t let its mindset infiltrate your mind and heart so that you become distracted and lose sight of the God who saved you in the first place.
Be mindful not to follow culture and trends, follow Jesus.
Stay focused on where you are in Christ, avoid distractions at all costs (1 Corinthians 7:35), and keep pressing toward your mark – not his mark, or her mark, but your mark.
Even if it means not watching TV as much, not listening to certain kinds of music, not visiting certain websites, cutting off an ungodly relationship, going to church more, praying more, helping others more…whatever you have to do…do it…do it all to the glory of God and follow His will for your life while knowing your reward is in heaven and in earth and that ultimately He Is your reward.
After these things the word of the LORD came unto Abram in a vision, saying, Fear not, Abram: I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward. Genesis 15:1
I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:14

 

 

*Originally published on Kim on the Web.

Demotivated Dating

 It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything about dating or relationships, but here goes –

Dating is rough. No matter where you live, how old you are or what type of job you have, it’s hard to meet someone who is compatible, attractive and ready to commit all at the same time. Meeting people is the easy part; meeting the right person is the hard part. But after so many dates, it’s easy to want to give up on dating altogether.

Having to get dressed up (even for a virtual date), fix my hair and have an “on” personality requires a lot of energy. Hoping to meet someone you can bond with & possibly have a future with is quite difficult and can oftentimes leave one very discouraged when things don’t seem to work out time & time again. Of course, this doesn’t mean you can stop dating altogether. Instead, it means the opposite – you must continue to date despite not having the desire to do so (and in some cases, date even more than you were before).

This is what I call “Demotivated Dating”. It means you’re still going out on dates, just not as enthusiastic about it as you once were. It means that you still desire a mate or significant other, just not as fervent in your approach as you used to be.

What does “Demotivated Dating” look like? Well, it might mean that while you still go out on dates, you may not dress up as much as you used to or budget as much time for each individual date. It may also mean that you don’t go out on as many dates as you used to or space your dates out so that you can have ‘me time’ in between.

For me, “Demotivated Dating” means that I still date with purpose but am not as hopeful about the outcome. I know that there are men out there who may be just as demotivated as I am, so there may not be a whole hearted attempt on their end to date either but we still see each other because you just never know if that person may be “the one”. Dating takes a lot of time & energy and when you start to lose hope, you give a lot less of both of those elements when out on a date.

I’m trying to get motivated again when it comes to dating. I’m trying to get excited about the possibility of meeting my Mr. Right one day, but the longer it takes, the more discouraged I become.

Are you the same way? Are you discouraged when it comes to finding love? Are you just not as motivated as you were before when it comes to dating? Let me know in the comments below —

The Same Love

God’s love is unconditional…it’s not based on what someone says, what someone does, how someone responds or behaves – God just loves – period.
The good news is, that SAME LOVE that God has He has also given YOU…He has given you the power, and the ability, to LOVE like He Loves!
Romans 5:5 reads And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.
Once we receive Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Savior, then God’s Spirit (in the form of the Holy Spirit) comes to dwell on the inside of us. It’s His Love that lives inside you that causes you to be able to love like He loves.
So no matter who has wronged you, misused you, or even verbally or physically abused you – you are still free to love them.
Though it may not make sense to your mind, and may not feel good to the flesh, Love, as a force, can cause you to take control of your life, remain in right-standing with God, and live free from feelings of turmoil and hatred, thus causing God’s windows of heaven to be opened for you simply because you choose to love – in spite of.
So I challenge you to love like God loves and pray for those who have wronged you – you can do it – the power to do so is deep down on the inside of you.
*Originally published on Kim on the Web.