Tag: 2018

#ThursdayReads: Viola Davis

Viola Davis is a critically revered, award-winning actress of film, television and theater. She is the first black actress to win Tony (Fences & King Hedley II), Oscar (Fences) and Emmy (How to Get Away with Murder) awards. Davis is currently starring in the fourth season of “How to Get Away with Murder,” a role for which she became the first African American actress to receive the Emmy Award for “Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series.” In 2012, Davis and her husband founded their production company, JuVee Productions, with its focus being on giving a voice to the voiceless through strong, impactful and culturally relevant narratives. Davis will next star in Steve McQueen’s “Widows,” alongside Colin Farrell and Liam Neeson.

10 Reasons Why I Don’t Really Post On Social Media

  1. The “high” I get from all the likes/comments that I receive is short lived –research shows that a lot of people thrive off of their popularity on social media. It’s all about ‘likes’, ‘followers’ and ‘fans’. I, too, have been guilty of looking for “likes” when I post something. I get excited when I see how many people like my posts initially, but when I check back the next day & don’t see any more ‘likes’ I feel deflated. As silly as that may sound, social media only provides temporary gratification.
  2. I’m not so sure my friends want to be blasted all over social media – many of the fun things that I do & actually document on camera are with my friends, but I’m not so sure they want their photos all over my social media page. They might be playing “hooky” from work, or not as pleased with how our photo turned as I am. Whatever the case may be, not everyone wants to “exposed” on social media.
  3. I can’t repeat my outfits – one of the bad things about putting your life out on social media is that you’re bound to repeat the same outfits in-person as online. I don’t know how many times I’ve shown people photos before & had the exact same outfit on in real life. That’s definitely not a good look!
  4. It takes too long to post – between all the cropping, setting the right filters & everything, it takes me forever to put up a really good picture. Sure, if I’m just typing a few words posting is not a problem but if I’m posting an actual picture, by the time I get it looking exactly how I want it to look, the thrill of posting is gone.
  5. The ‘congratulations’ is always delayed – because I typically post my pictures late (it could be weeks or even months), any ‘comments’ or ‘likes’ that I receive are not really up-to-date. What good is a “like” about my Spring birthday when it comes in the Fall?
  6. Trolls versus stalkers – celebrities have trolls; regular people have stalkers. Posting on social media lets stalkers know more about my personal life (as if the internet doesn’t tell enough), and we can’t have that. While no one should overpost, there’s no need to help the stalkers out.
  7. The people who are really close to me get the good photos – I send out a newsletter every year around the holidays, so anyone who really knows me gets pictures that I don’t post on social media.
  8. It’s not my real life – everyone knows that people only post the “pretty stuff” online. I don’t believe in sharing only the good stuff…cuz it’s not all real. My real life gets ugly, and even gets boring sometimes. While I may not post that part, I know that social media doesn’t show a full 180 of my life.
  9. Facebook friends aren’t real friends – when you post something on social media, you’re bound to get comments or even “likes” from people you barely know. While it’s nice that people notice, some who leave comments may barely even know you.
  10. Who really cares? – at the end of the day, does anyone actually care about my life? Probably not. The only people who actually want to see my “status” are my parents, and they are certainly not my friends on social media.

Am I Really About To Reject The “Nice Guy”?

Not too long ago, I met a really nice guy. He’s close to 6 feet tall, wears glasses, bowties and on occasion Hawaiian shirts. He seems nice, sweet and really caring but is a little on the corny side. He’s never been married before but he does have a college-age child. He’s gainfully employed & has a college degree. He’s thoughtful, considerate and is a Christian man. Sounds great, right?! Well, there’s one little problem – he’s a little on the ‘boring’ side.

By ‘boring’, I mean there’s nothing exciting about him or even remotely interesting. He’s nice to hang out with as a friend & all, but lacks a certain je ne se quoi, if ya’ know what I mean.  There’s nothing about him that makes me want him, let alone think about him when he’s not around. While he treats me well, there’s nothing special about him. That may sound harsh, but it’s true. There are a lot of “nice” guys out there but why do nice guys have to be so boring?

“Nice guys finish last.” Don’t nice guys know that they finish last because women want energy, they want excitement – something that compels them to want more? Unless a woman has gone through something dramatic in her life (like being in an abusive relationship), most women seek that “it” factor when dating. I’m not saying we want drama, cheating, or anything crazy like that but a little edge never hurt anybody.

What do I mean by “edge”? I mean a man who is both smart & street savvy at the same time. A man who shows bravado (when necessary), very masculine, protective and doesn’t put up with crap. You all know what I’m talking about – women want a man with some swagger.

Before you say something in the comment section – keep in mind that men are the same way. They want a woman who is smart, pretty, feminine with a touch of sexiness. Being attractive is not enough, nor is being smart. A woman needs to have a certain “something” in order to keep a man interested, otherwise he’ll find a PYT to satisfy his needs (even if it is only temporary). All I’m saying is that it is completely normal to want some excitement from the person you’re seeing in order to maintain interest in them.

But wait, back to my story – am I really about to turn down a guy because he’s too nice?! I know that it’s possible there might be another side to him I haven’t seen yet. He might get more interesting as I get to know him, or maybe the excitement will build later in the relationship. I just don’t want to wonder for the rest of my life if there’s someone else out there who can hold my interest, or give me butterflies when I see him. I don’t want to date someone who is boring, only to be tempted to cheat with someone who is more interesting or exciting. I don’t want to have to pretend that I really like someone who is boring, let alone him having the feeling that he bores me.  I’ve got my entire 70s & 80s to be bored (lol).

What say you?! Should I give the “nice guy” a chance & see where it goes, or not waste his time (or mine) and leave him alone so he can find someone else who can appreciate his boringness? Leave your comments below –

God Always Has Your Back!

It’s okay to desire a true companion in life, one who walks with you in agreement, whether it’s a friend or significant other. The word, ‘companion’, means, one who keeps company with another, one with whom a person frequently associates or converses. One who accompanies another. A partner, an associate.
A lot of times we find this type of companionship in our friends, relatives, or in a significant other.  We spend time with them and we converse with them frequently, whether on the phone or in person.
However, in those times when they’re not there, remember the Friend you have who is always there, just waiting for you to call on Him. Not only is He always waiting for you, He’s always there with a word of encouragement, never to judge you but simply listen and steer you in the right direction because He knows and wants what’s best for you more than you do.  
No one has your back more than God has your back. You never have to clarify yourself with God, because He knows and hears your heart. People may disappoint you, but your best friend, Jesus, never does. People may hurt you, even unintentionally at times, but Jesus always knows the right things to say, and He’s always there. Never take for granted the privilege you have with Jesus as your ultimate companion. Your best friend forever is just waiting on you to etch time out of your day to chill with Him; and He’s so happy to hear from you every time.
The secret [of the sweet, satisfying companionship] of the Lord have they who fear (revere and worship) Him, and He will show them His covenant and reveal to them its [deep, inner] meaning. Psalm 25:14 (Amplified Bible)
Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee. Psalm 73:25
*Originally published on Kim on the Web.