It’s easy to get excited when you first meet someone that you like. The novelty of meeting someone new, spending time with them & getting to know more about them can be electrifying!
I know how it is to get excited when I meet a man who I think has true dating potential. Some women plan their wedding within the first week of meeting someone that they like. I don’t take it that far, but I do consider cutting off other men I’m dating to focus on the one that’s in front of me. All of this of course hinges on whether or not he likes me back. If there’s mutual interest, then I know that there’s a real possibility that there might be something between us.
A problem occurs when things don’t work out. This happens very often, obviously, which explains why so many of us are single. But that doesn’t make it any easier to bear. It gets frustrating when you think you meet “Mr. Right” only for him to be “Mr. Wrong”. All my hopes & dreams (okay, maybe not ALL my hopes and dreams but you know what I mean) were built on the possibility of something great happening. But sometimes life can sometimes throw us a curveball (which is when things don’t work out like we’d like them too), leaving us to mourn the loss of a relationship.
Even though it can hurt, I realize that the person I break up with is one less person I’ll need to weed through before I can get to Mr. Right. Of course, I don’t like kissing frogs; who does? But I can’t be mad at a relationship that just wasn’t meant to be. Couples break up, relationships end & life goes on.
Dating can be hard. With every man that I let go, I know that’s one less frog to kiss. So with every man that I ‘date & dump’ I know there are fewer frogs to kiss until I get to the one who will turn into my Prince Charming.
Everyone has “rocks”, you know, those things that are in the way of us making progress. Whether large or small, something may be holding you back from doing whatever it is that you want (or need) to do. Whether it’s something tangible (other people in your way, lack of money or no time) or even the inability to stay focused, it’s important to know how to eliminate these “rocks”.
For example, I’ve realized the importance of setting deadlines for the tasks that need to get done. It’s also important to alternate activities – because it’s so hard to focus for long periods of time on just one activity. No matter what works for me it’s imperative to develop what works for you & adapt it with your own flavor accordingly. Here are some ways to address the “rocks” that are blocking your progress:
Pebbles are small issues that add to your resistance. I don’t know about you, but every morning when the alarm goes off, I don’t wanna get outta bed to work out. I would rather do anything else — check my email, start cooking breakfast or watch the morning news — than work out. That’s because my biggest problem with exercise has always been getting started. Once I get started and get into it, I’m just fine. I sometimes even lose track of time! So for me, the challenge is all about getting up & motivated so I can put on those gym clothes & head out!
Consider striking a deal with yourself. Tell yourself, I’m only going to work out for 15 minutes. For whatever reason, this feels like such a tiny amount of time but it usually turns into 20 or even 30 minutes. And that’s my first pebble of the day. When I’m done, I give myself a break then get ready for work.
Once I’m up & out, I sometimes face “stones” which are larger problems that may hinder my productivity. It’s best if I have SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Attractive, Realistic, and Time-Framed) so I can get those undesirable tasks out of the way. Once I have the nerve to start an even larger task, I seem to face even bigger resistance. Negative things or even mundane distractions are thrown at me each of which is designed to take me away (physically or mentally) from the task at hand. For example:
Sound familiar? If something is truly important, I can act on it after my task-at-hand is complete. As you can probably predict, once I’m done with my task and it’s time for a break, most of those seemingly urgent things are no longer important.
Every now & them a “boulder” will come across my path or even larger obstacle that may be difficult to contend with. With that said, I do occasionally have a lot to accomplish in a short time period or face an insurmountable task. It can be an uglier, more below-the-belt type of “boulder” and might even be aimed at undermining my confidence and self-worth. Ugh!
I believe that one of the best ways to get over these “boulders” is to ask for help. Whether it’s a call to a colleague, checking on my parents or even a mid-day chat with my friends, it helps to get the right type of motivation. Whoever I’m talking to usually asks me how things are going, which is an incentive to give a positive report. These “boulders” can trigger greater and uglier forms of resistance as well as require more organized external accountability. So when I overcome a “boulder” of mine, I celebrate!
Needless to say, the whole reason I enjoy the image of various sizes of writing rocks is because I understand that getting things done can be a slow, long and gradual process. It’s important to feel good about completing each step of the process not just the end result.
The thing I like most about my “rocks” is that they help me understand my time differently. Getting accustomed to differentiating between pebbles, stones & boulders means that I feel empowered to block out of my days accordingly. Maybe one day I’ll tackle a pebble first or maybe I’ll go straight in for a boulder.
I’ve described my “rocks” as a way to stimulate your thinking, so now it’s time to ask yourself: What is my current process? Is it working for me? Do I have realistic expectations? Have I tried short bursts of productivity, or do I assume that all work requires long & agonizing hours at a time in front of the computer?
I hope this week brings tremendous creativity in adapting your daily work habits to your own unique needs.