How To Get To A Man’s Heart

I’ve written before about ways to get a man to commit. Of course, every guy is different, but here are some more ways to woo a man, some of which just may work for you!

  1. Use proper communication – men are not as smart as we are. They’re just not. (sorry guys!) With that said, they don’t understand the subtleties that we women like to drop. For example, if a guy asks you what’s on your mind instead of telling him everything, like we do with our girlfriends, just give him the highlights. And instead of highlighting all 20 things going on with you, just give him the Top 3. That way you’ll keep his attention & you’ll have some more conversation saved up for later.
  2. Be loving – when a man comes home from work, all he wants is to be left alone & probably some good food. But after you leave him alone for a little bit, it’s okay to show him a little bit of attention. You can be affectionate or playful, so long as it’s loving.
  3. Compliment him – contrary to popular belief, men like compliments too. They like to be told that they’re smart, look nice, smell good or have a nice haircut. We don’t have to compliment them as often as they should be complimenting us but telling them every now & then that they are doing something right can go a long way!
  4. Have your own opinion – even men who are “large & in charge” like women who can think for themselves. By having & sharing your opinion, especially when it’s not the mainstream, can make a man respect you even more.
  5. Show him you care – even men like to get gifts or receive acts of thoughtfulness. Even if it’s not a tangible present, men still like to know that women are thinking about them when they’re not around. Another good way to show a man you care is to ask him about something he mentioned that was important to him.
  6. Have your own desires / interests – have your own life outside of your boyfriend. Don’t ever be accessible 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. This implies that your life revolves around him, which it shouldn’t. Plus, having outside interests gives you something that you can talk about with passion & intelligence.

  7. Take some initiative – men actually like it when we take charge (at least some of the time). Showing up & taking charge is what men typically have to do all day at work, so when they can relinquish some of their decision-making powers to you, it can be a relief.

  8. Be interested in what he has to say and act on it – if your man has an interest in rocks not only should you listen to him talk about rocks without yawning, look into getting him the best book you can afford on petrified materials, or better yet, invest in a rock excavation tour! This shows genuine interest and your desire to make him happy!

  9. Be honest – who doesn’t like honesty? When you are honest with your man, you’ll never have to worry about covering anything up or getting “caught up”. Plus, by being honest you don’t have to be anyone other than you!

  10. Love him – all we need is love. Need I say more?! 😊

#ThursdayReads: Jesmyn Ward

Jesmyn Ward received her MFA from the University of Michigan and has received the MacArthur Genius Grant, a Stegner Fellowship, a John and Renee Grisham Writers Residency, and the Strauss Living Prize. She is the winner of two National Book Awards for Fiction for Sing, Unburied, Sing (2017) and Salvage the Bones (2011). She is also the author of the novel Where the Line Bleeds and the memoir Men We Reaped, which was a finalist for the National Book Critics Circle Award and won the Chicago Tribune Heartland Prize and the Media for a Just Society Award. She is currently an associate professor of creative writing at Tulane University and lives in Mississippi.

Do You Know Your People?!

I was at the bookstore the other day and noticed that there was a group of people gathered in a particular section of the store. As I walked closer to see what was going on I noticed that they all were gathered near the supernatural/magick section of the store. This is where the Tarot cards and chakra crystals are. They all seemed to be pouring over the same book and were engaging in a lively conversation that had something to do with that book. Not that I’m interested in that type of thing, but I wondered what it was that they were discussing. I hate to admit but I was a little jealous that they all were so excited about the same thing. As I stood there & watched, other people who had an interest in the supernatural came over and jumped right in the conversation. Basically, these total strangers had found “their people”.

Then I started thinking, do I even know who “my people” are? What homogenous group am I part of where I could bond with total strangers in a completely random place? Maybe other African Americans? Women? Millennials? Californians? Christians? There are so many different groups that I could put myself into that I don’t seem to fit into just one. There are so many different people who I have things in common with. While it would be great to “click” with a bunch of strangers over just one topic, I am grateful for the opportunity to mix with different crowds / different types of people.


Who are “your people”? What is the one circle that you find happiness??!