I’m Already Turned Off…

Let’s say you’ve been dating someone for a few months – maybe 3 or 4 months – and they still haven’t brought up the word “relationship”, what would you do?!

I’ve been put in this situation more times than I would like. I’ve dated men for months & not once during those few months did they bring up the “R” word. Of course, before we started dating I made it crystal clear that I was looking for something serious & didn’t want to date just to be dating. Instead, I am looking to enter into a committed relationship with the potential for marriage. So why waste my time if you’re not looking for something serious?

The fact that I have to ask “Where is this going?” is a turn off. Not only does it sound like I’m nagging, it brings up a whole host of other questions, like “What’s taking him so long to commit?”, “Does he even want a relationship at all?” & many other unanswerable questions. Men, why should we have to
ask you where things are headed? You should already know what it is that we want (that discussion should be had up front) and that within an appropriate amount of time, the relationship needs to progress into something greater.

If anything, it lets me know that the guy is NOT ready for a relationship (at least not with me).  But why still date me? Because it’s comfortable? Or because they haven’t met anyone else yet? Maybe it’s because they are still “interviewing” me to be their girlfriend? I’m not sure what it is, but whatever their reasons are, it leaves much to be desired.

Guys, if I have to ask you where things are headed between us, that’s not a good thing. If I’m asking, then I probably already know the answer – things aren’t going anywhere.

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