I know, I know. I’m not supposed to get into a relationship with the expectation of changing the person I’m with. However, as a woman, it is instinctual to see potential in someone and want to help them reach their fullest potential. So as a “helpmeet” (check the Bible if you don’t know what that word means), I desire for the man I’m with to be better off with me than he is without me. And sometimes, this requires change.
Let’s face it – if someone you care about is operating at 70% but they really could be operating at 100%, wouldn’t you want to help them get to that 100%? I would! And to help them go from 70% to 100%, they either need to do something differently or completely change their behavior. It could be re-evaluating the way they do certain things or listening to some genuine feedback that may help them get to where they wanna go. And if the way he has handled things in the past hasn’t worked out for him, then perhaps I can introduce a new way of doing things. That’s not such a bad idea, is it?!
This happened to me not too long ago – a guy I know in his mid-40s had a situation with one of his friends and instead of talking it out (and don’t tell me that only women talk things out), he simply went OFF on his friend. Here was the situation: His friend owed him money and had yet to pay him, so he felt like he was being taken advantage of. Even though he didn’t *need* the loaned-out money, I could tell in his voice that he was outraged. But I asked him, “Before you loaned him the money, did you give him a deadline?” Of course, his answer was no. He hadn’t taken into account the fact that he failed to set any expectations of when the money was due back before going off on his friend. He expected his money back but gave him no timeframe. How does that make any sense? So, the next time he planned to help a friend out, he knew that he needed to have a conversation first & set his expectations up front.
But had I not suggested this, he more than likely would not have thought about it in this way. So in this particular instance, I tried to change his mindset & his behavior so that he would have a better outcome in the future. Is that so wrong?!
Guys, what kind of changes would you let a woman make in your life? Let me know in the comments section below –