I listen to a lot of dating advice, some secular & some religious just so I can get a different perspective on the whole “relationship thing”. Some of it’s pretty good, and some of it’s pretty bad. There is a lot of advice that has been repeated but I will say that say some of it stands out more than others –
You don’t attract what you want; you attract what you already ARE.
A lot of times we think that if we put the right vibes out there, then the right person will come across our path & we will live happily every after. But that’s not how it really works! You can’t pretend to be something you’re not and expect that person to stay with you once they find out that you really aren’t who or what you say you are. Instead, become the person you want to attract and even after they get to know the “real you”, they’ll still be attracted to you.
Avoid relationships that require you to divorce yourself
Never try to be someone you’re not. Sure, it’s okay to pretend to have good manners when you go out to eat, if you don’t normally have good manners when eating in public, but the core of who you are shouldn’t change (unless you want it to). If you try to keep up the façade for too long, even you’ll get tired of it and your true colors will show. And before you know it, you’re looking in the mirror wishing you hadn’t let yourself become someone you’re not. A mate who is really into you won’t require to change too much, otherwise what were they attracted to in the first place?
Sometimes your relational taste outruns your value
Have you ever heard the expression, “You have champagne taste on a beer diet”? Well, if this is you then you know that you shouldn’t let your expectations outweigh your needs in a relationship. It’s nice to want everything in a relationship but having those expectations shouldn’t keep you from recognizing what’s important.
Would you go into a lion’s cage without studying the lion?
Would you want a man showing up for a date at 3pm when the date isn’t until 5pm? Of course you wouldn’t, because that’s too early. You need enough time to prepare for your date – whether that means finding out where you’re going so you can pick the right outfit, studying the fundraiser you’re about to attend so you have something intelligent to say, or even finding out what your date likes so you can ask questions to spark good conversation. In the same way, we should also study the person we want to date.
A real queen knows that no one else can fit her crown
If you know your worth, then you should expect others to know it as well. People will only let you treat them how you let them treat you. If you carry yourself with confidence then people will assume that you are a confident person. If you speak intelligently, people will find you intelligent. A man who can see your value will know that no one else can replace you. And when a man treats you like you are irreplaceable, it just reinforces what you already know about yourself – a good woman is worth rubies & pearls (Proverbs 31).
Powerful women detest insecurity within themselves
Insecurity has no place with a woman who is doing her thang! While we may feel insecure at times, emotional & even a little sad, we won’t let it get to us or keep us down for too long. It’s okay to be sad, but it’s not okay to display these insecurities for others to take advantage of. No matter how down you may be feeling, the entire world doesn’t need to know.
Stay tuned for more dating advice….