The “M” Word

As a single woman, my end goal when it comes to relationships is marriage. Point blank period. That to me is the sole purpose of dating – to eventually get married. I don’t want to be a long-term girlfriend, shack up with some guy or be a serial dater. What I want is my own husband (not someone else’s & not someone’s old one either) to have in holy matrimony until death do us part. And while this may be what I desire, it’s not necessarily the desire of the men I date.

I got into a conversation with a man I recently met about what it was that we were looking for in a relationship. He asked me what I wanted & I told him that I was only interested in ultimately getting married. I would never want to rush a man into marriage, but at this stage in life I am not interested in only dating but eventually taking that final step: marriage. Then I asked him the same question back – what was it that he was looking for? What was his purpose in dating? He told me he was looking for a long-term commitment & possible a serious committed relationship, but not one time did he use the “m” word.

I found it quite odd that he never said the word marriage. Is this a sign? Does this mean that he doesn’t want marriage or that he just didn’t want to get my hopes up? It turns out that he didn’t grow up in a married household, but he has been married before. Does this mean that he isn’t afraid of marriage (and even willing to get re-married) or does this mean he’s turned of by marriage altogether? You never know with divorced men.

I understand that not everyone wants to get married & I can accept that. But if one party tells another that that is what they want, it’s up to them to let them know whether or not they are on the same page.  Sometimes when men don’t say anything contrary to what they’ve been told, we women take that as a silent agreement. So, if I’ve told you that I want to be married & you don’t say anything back, I’m automatically under the impression that you are in agreeance with what I’ve said. After all, why date someone if you know they want to be married & you don’t?

When does the “m” word come up in your conversations when dating someone?


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