Before I even begin this post, I want to acknowledge the fact that I know men are visual creatures. They are attracted to what they see, not to what they hear (at least not in the beginning). Seeing an attractive woman with a nice figure with her hair & makeup done will catch a man’s attention more often than a woman who is dressed down. Whether we women like it or not, that’s just the way men are.
So now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, I’d like to talk about the fact that as a woman, I hate that I have to dress up just to impress a guy. Don’t get me wrong, I like to feel pretty & look good when I go out but the fact that I have to in order to catch a man’s attention is what bothers me. To have to spend an extra 30 minutes a day (at least) on hair & makeup in the hopes that a good-looking man will notice me is a lot for a woman to have to deal with. Sure, I can run to the store in sweats with no makeup and a baseball cap on, but surely, I will not get as many looks than I would if I had on something a little bit more impressive.
I’ve witnessed firsthand a guy who expressed his disappointment with the way that I looked when we were out on a date. Although, I was very casually dressed when we first met (a sweatshirt & jeans), he expected me to really “do it up” for our first date when we weren’t even going anywhere all that special. When I showed up, not only did he not compliment me at all, he even considered not going out with me again because of what I had on. *he told me this after the fact, not during the actual date* How superficial can you be? Although that made me upset, he was speaking his truth – he was expecting me to come with it on our first date and I had failed to meet his personal expectations. He reasoned that because I was super casual during our first encounter, I should’ve really really dressed up for our first date, not maintain the casual look I had when we first met. Instead of fitted jeans, he wanted a skirt & instead of cute flats, he wanted heels. I understand his desire to see me look a little sexier but going out on a date really shouldn’t be about assessing the other person’s wardrobe choices, but instead about getting to know that person.
And don’t tell me that looks aren’t everything to a guy. Men don’t approach a woman they don’t find attractive in some shape, form or fashion. Looks are everything to a guy when he first sees a woman. Of course, that’s not the most important quality yet it’s the most noticeable. Men will date a good-looking woman even if she has a funky attitude, bad breath, isn’t that smart or has any other non-redeeming quality. Looks are just that important to men!
Don’t get me wrong, I know that there are some men who don’t need a woman to be “all done up” to find her attractive. There are men who can see beyond nice clothes, or a made-up face. At the very least there are some men who can see the potential in a woman who might not be dressed up when they first meet. They just use their imagination to determine what that woman will look like when he takes her out.
Now, guys, before you say anything, I know that there are women who judge men based on their appearance but there’s a difference between being dressed up versus dressed to impress. Women expect men to dress nicely for our dates, not necessarily ‘dressed to impress’ – there’s a huge difference. Not to mention that women don’t typically reject a man based on how he’s dressed, instead they reject him for other reasons like using creepy pick-up lines, dirty teeth or lack of a personality. Sure, I look at how a guy is dressed but it’s not criteria as to whether or not I’m gonna date him. Plus, as a woman, I know that appearance, clothing in particular, can always be altered. I just wish men were that open-minded with women.
Men, do you think it’s fair that women have to look a certain way just to impress you, regardless of how good of a woman she may be (on the inside)?