Usually when I meet a guy that I’m into, sparks fly right away. There’s good conversation, there’s chemistry, he smiles, I laugh, and I feel something. And that’s a feeling that I want to feel over & over again whenever I’m with that person. It’s something that the psychologists & biologists call dopamine, but I just call it plain ole butterflies.
Having butterflies is a wonderful feeling. When I get them, I just want to spend more time with the person who gave me them to me. But what happens when you meet someone & you don’t get that feeling? You may meet someone who is a great catch but not experience any butterflies. There’s no chemistry, no goosebumps and no special feeling until after you get to know them. Well, when that happens I call that a “slow grow”.
A slow grow is a term to describe a man that I met who I may not like that much in the beginning but because of something he said or did later in the course of our relationship, he started to grow on me. It might take him a little longer but eventually because of his wit, sense of humor or ability to stimulate me intellectually, my attraction to him grows. Although I would have never given that man a chance initially, little by little, I might start to develop feelings for him.
Recently I met a guy who I wasn’t all that attracted to. He was tall, dark & handsome but he still wasn’t quite my type. He took my number and we started talking on the phone. The conversations were pretty dry at first and there just wasn’t much to talk about. He wasn’t very engaging, nor was he all that exciting to talk to. He seemingly had all the qualities that I was looking for in a man (well, at least most of them) and was very nice but there just wasn’t any chemistry between us. I’m not sure if he felt the same way or not but there was nothing about him that made me want to see him again, let alone spend time with him. But we kept talking and eventually the conversation started to get better. Now we talk all the time & I look forward to seeing him. And that’s what I call a slow grow.
Now why would I even allow a slow grow in the first place? Well, some dating experts have argued that if you meet someone who meets all of your qualifications, you should at least give them a shot and go out on at least one date with them. Even if there isn’t any chemistry initially, they say you shouldn’t be so willing to give up on someone who could turn out to be the love of your life. While I don’t necessarily agree with this entire theory, there is some legitimacy in knowing that you might grow to like someone even if they don’t initially turn you on. It might be a little harder to do so when there’s no chemistry in the beginning, but there is always that possibility that chemistry may spark later on.
Have you even met someone who you had NO feelings with initially, but eventually grew into liking them? Tell me about it in the comments section below –