My Version of ‘Dating for Dummies’

  1. Honor keeps relationships from going toxic because it protects the dignity of everybody involved.
  2. When you honor someone, you can discuss your issues with them without threatening their dignity.
  3. As our admiration grows for a person so does our desire for intimacy.
  4. It’s hard to mistreat someone when you have a sincere appreciation for their partnership.
  5. As long as a man is willing to put in the work, we women must accept him based on who he is working to become.
  6. Men can become charming & romantic but not intimate or transparent. Women desire one but need the other.
  7. When you are walking on a path of forgiveness, you don’t respond to dysfunction the same.
  8. People aren’t disappointments until expectations are put on them that they were never gonna meet anyway.
  9. It’s okay to grieve the loss of unrealistic expectations. It’s also okay to grieve the loss of realistic expectations.
  10. Mercy should never be based on the worthiness of the person receiving it.
  11. Compassion flows out of the emotional resilience one has in their heart, not of the worthiness of the 1 in need.
  12. The mercy phase is a time of grief where we let go of the delusion of control & prevention about what we can’t fix, manage or sustain.
  13. We must take off the masks that hide us, put down the armor that shields us and give up the behaviors that numb us.
  14. Judging gets in the way of authenticity and it doesn’t change behavior.
  15. I don’t do blame, I do responsibility.
  16. It’s okay to be afraid; it’s not okay to act out of fear.
  17. People who use words like: can, could, may and might create a more supportive and hopeful environment for their partner.
  18. To show mercy you must give them an opportunity – knowing they have the capacity to blow it and that you have the capacity to recover from them blowing it.
  19. We all need the grace to grow within a relationship.
  20. There’s the sabotage list of the closed-minded, and the support list of the open-minded.
  21. Supportive words are: can, could, may and might.
  22. Sabotage words are should, shall, ought and must.
  23. Put obedience over passion.
  24. Be the date that you want to have.
  25. Marriage should always be THE goal, not an option.
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