She’s Just Not The Same

I know a guy who used to be married for a very brief length of time. He was dating a woman who he fell for because of her looks & ended up getting her pregnant during a moment of passion. They got married (he wanted to do the honorable thing) and tried to raise their child the best way they could together. But the marriage was doomed from the very beginning. They were never in love to begin with & the birth of a child only put a strain on their already failing marriage, so they ended up getting a divorce. While my friend admitted to his wrongdoing within his own marriage, he said he got with his ex for the wrong reasons – “cuz she was fine.”

I know, I know – this is the most shallow thing a person can say, but that was his truth. His lust for her led him through a series of events that led him to a bad marriage, a divorce and bringing another life into this world. His ex was a beautiful, statuesque woman with long curly hair, freckles & smooth silky skin. In her youth, she was highly sought after & frequently traveled as a model across various parts of Europe. She lived a “carefree” life, probably off of her modeling royalties and was free spirited, fun & adventurous. At least that’s what my friend saw when he first met this woman.

But when I met her for the first time myself, that’s not at all what I saw. She looked like a middle aged, frumpy soccer mom who seemed tired & stressed. My expectations of her did not meet reality. Age aside, I could not see what he saw in her. I did not see a runway model, instead I saw a boring old mom. I did not see a picturesque woman, instead I saw a sad, bitter woman. I did not see someone who was vivacious, instead I saw someone who look tired beyond her years. The stress of life & raising a kid on her own had worn on her and she was not handling it very well at all. “That’s your ex?! What happened to her?” I asked my friend. Defending the mother of his child, he told me, “She didn’t look like that when I met her. She’s just not the same woman anymore.”

While I knew he was talking specifically about the fact that she had gained a lot of weight since they started dating over a decade ago, his comment seemed to go deeper than that. Along with being a single mother, his ex had taken on a whole other persona. That of someone who was angry from divorce & now realized that her life was nowhere as glamorous as the one she had given up. For many women, this is life, but even without really knowing her, I could tell that she wasn’t what she used to be.

Have you met someone who you’ve heard so much about & was either disappointed or pleasantly surprised when you actually met them in person? Share in the comments below –

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