Sometimes I wonder if something is wrong with me. I meet lots of men but it’s very rare that I meet one who gives me butterflies. I know, I know, the term “I have butterflies” is just a euphemism for someone who gives you that “special” feeling, but it’s just not that often that it happens to me.
It’s not that I’ve never felt them at all & maybe that’s the problem – once you’ve had butterflies, it’s hard to date someone who doesn’t cause you to have them. When you first meet someone (and then agree to date them) you want to feel something, anything to make you want to go out with them again & again. And I just don’t get this feeling with the men that I go out with.
Of course, when I have had this feeling before, things never quite worked out between me and that person. One could argue that if the men who give me butterflies aren’t any good for me, then I should consider dating someone who doesn’t give me butterflies, but I would beg to differ. Butterflies aren’t what cause the demise of a relationship, instead, it’s what helps start that relationship in the first place. You see, the “butterflies” are what made me want to be around them more, talk to them more & allow a relationship between us to flourish. Without that, I would have never wanted to spend time with them, let alone take their phone calls. So why would I want to give someone a chance who didn’t at least give me that “feel good” feeling in the beginning?
I really do want to feel butterflies when I meet a man. I want to be excited when I see his number on the caller id, or while I’m getting dressed knowing I’m about to spend time with him. I want to yearn for that man, not just put up with him. I want to know that whenever he comes around, my day gets better instantly – that’s what “butterflies” mean to me. Conversely, I want him to feel the same way about me.
What gives me butterflies? Well, everyone is different, so it depends on the man. I’ve had guys admit that they don’t have the best sense of humor, so they’ll never be able to make me laugh (knowing that I’m about to talk to a man who can make me laugh definitely gives me butterflies). Other men have said that they are not smooth talkers, so I probably won’t feel anything solely based on the words coming out of their mouth (instead it may be their actions that do it for me). Instead, it would have to be the level of conversation, or some other attribute that would make me yearn for him. The way that a man carries himself would also give me butterflies, you know – swag (find any clip of Denzel Washington walking & you’ll know what I mean). There are lots of things that men can do; I just wish someone would make me believe in “butterflies” again.
Do you believe in “butterflies”? How often do you feel them when you meet someone new? Is it important that you feel this way or is this feeling just deceptive?