I Don’t Believe In Butterflies. Do You?

Sometimes I wonder if something is wrong with me. I meet lots of men but it’s very rare that I meet one who gives me butterflies. I know, I know, the term “I have butterflies” is just a euphemism for someone who gives you that “special” feeling, but it’s just not that often that it happens to me.

It’s not that I’ve never felt them at all & maybe that’s the problem – once you’ve had butterflies, it’s hard to date someone who doesn’t cause you to have them. When you first meet someone (and then agree to date them) you want to feel something, anything to make you want to go out with them again & again. And I just don’t get this feeling with the men that I go out with.

Of course, when I have had this feeling before, things never quite worked out between me and that person. One could argue that if the men who give me butterflies aren’t any good for me, then I should consider dating someone who doesn’t give me butterflies, but I would beg to differ. Butterflies aren’t what cause the demise of a relationship, instead, it’s what helps start that relationship in the first place. You see, the “butterflies” are what made me want to be around them more, talk to them more & allow a relationship between us to flourish. Without that, I would have never wanted to spend time with them, let alone take their phone calls. So why would I want to give someone a chance who didn’t at least give me that “feel good” feeling in the beginning?

I really do want to feel butterflies when I meet a man. I want to be excited when I see his number on the caller id, or while I’m getting dressed knowing I’m about to spend time with him. I want to yearn for that man, not just put up with him. I want to know that whenever he comes around, my day gets better instantly – that’s what “butterflies” mean to me. Conversely, I want him to feel the same way about me.

What gives me butterflies? Well, everyone is different, so it depends on the man. I’ve had guys admit that they don’t have the best sense of humor, so they’ll never be able to make me laugh (knowing that I’m about to talk to a man who can make me laugh definitely gives me butterflies). Other men have said that they are not smooth talkers, so I probably won’t feel anything solely based on the words coming out of their mouth (instead it may be their actions that do it for me). Instead, it would have to be the level of conversation, or some other attribute that would make me yearn for him. The way that a man carries himself would also give me butterflies, you know – swag (find any clip of Denzel Washington walking & you’ll know what I mean). There are lots of things that men can do; I just wish someone would make me believe in “butterflies” again.

Do you believe in “butterflies”? How often do you feel them when you meet someone new? Is it important that you feel this way or is this feeling just deceptive?

4 thoughts on “I Don’t Believe In Butterflies. Do You?

  1. I’ve heard from a relationship expert (on the Harry Conner Jr Show) that if someone gives you butterflies that’s a signal to run, she informed us that when this happens it’s our spirit warning us that this is not a good match and we should not indulged in going further with that person, unequally yoked, its not going to work. Before that episode, me personally liked and disliked that feeling, I liked it because I was into that person and I disliked it because I was all over the place with my emotions and thoughts, but knowing how those relationships turned out, I totally agree with that woman. Now, I’m patiently waiting on that soul God created for me, I’ve ran into a couple of fools and I am not willing to run into more, my heart is not fit for that type of pain, I believe when we are living on purpose for God and waiting for His input then we will meet our soul mates; God will let us know that He is the one because that connection will be like no other.

    1. I agree with you – we all should wait on God but it’s not easy.

      But I’d like to know, how do you cope when you feel like God is “taking too long” to answer your prayer or that God is not going to answer them the way you’d like (for example, everybody is not meant to be married no matter how hard they pray).

      Being single when you don’t want to be can really suck. 😦

      1. Honestly, about close to two years ago, I found myself in a situation where I was tired of waiting for God (I just felt bad typing that) to work certain things out in my life, the ppl who I looked up to for spiritual refreshment, were just humans who let me down and my life seemed weirdly out of place, so instead of waiting on God to reconstruct my attitude and life, I did things my way 😐, I started dating this idiot whom I “thought” was so perfect, I mean he had a degree, owned his house, attractive, mentored the youth, had a career and so forth, he was basically what I was looking for, so I decided to give him a chance, even though God warned me not to date this fella, I ignored the numerous warnings and ended up leaving this asshole with a bruised heart, not broken, I left b4 it got that far; basically, so I won’t have to go any further with this story, it’s best to wait on God because His timing is perfect and when we decide to do things our way we get in the way of His blessings, delaying the process of our gifts from Him, He wants us to be happy, we have to faithful and patient and know that He is the God who created everything including us, so He knows us better then we know ourselves, so it’s best to put our flesh in check and tell it to wait because our hearts nor us deserve the pain the comes with bad relationships. I hope this helps 😊

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