“So, how was your weekend?!”
“It was good. Me & my girlfriend saw a movie & hung out this weekend.”
“Your girlfriend? Aren’t you still married?”
This is an actual conversation I had with a co-worker recently who was attempting to rationalize why he had a girlfriend even though he was still married. He had only been married for a year (maybe even less than that) and he was on his way to getting a divorce. The new woman in his life was a “fresh start” for him although he knew it wasn’t going to lead anywhere.
According to my co-worker, let’s call him Al, sometimes the best way to get over one person is to get another. In his case, he wasn’t hurting anyone because he & his wife were already separated, the divorce papers had been filed and he was sure that she had already moved on. I reminded him that married was still married whether separated or not & there is no point in starting a new chapter in his life when the old one wasn’t finished.
Al had no intentions of having a girlfriend so soon after ending things with his soon-to-be ex-wife, but he found someone he liked. And even though she was much younger, that woman wanted a formal relationship not just something that was gonna be casual. So even though he wasn’t quite ready for a formal relationship, he gave in, giving her the title that she wanted – girlfriend.
Al said she was his “medicine”. Just like when you get sick & need to take something to make you feel better. In other words, the new woman was helping him get over the old woman. The only problem with this, I explained to him, was that once a person feels better they tend to stop taking their medicine. They go back to their normal life and put their “medicine” right back in the medicine cabinet until the next time they need it again.
So, it sounds to me like he is just using his new girlfriend to help get over his ex. He does this with no regard to how she may end up getting hurt in the end, nor has he considered how this will affect his own healing process as he goes through his divorce. After all, every sickness doesn’t need medicine, sometimes time heals better than anything else.
Have you ever been someone’s “medicine”?