If You Don’t Have Time, Why Are You Wasting Mine?

Why do men ask women out knowing good & full well they don’t have time for them?

Case & point: I recently met a guy who seemed like really nice. He was tall, (somewhat) attractive, respectful, nice and intelligent which was enough to make me want to see him again. So when he asked for my number, I gave it to him anticipating his phone call. From the looks of things he seemed to be quite interested in me and shortly after I gave him my number he sent me a text. In his text, he told me that he was “impressed” with our brief conversation and looked forward to getting to know me & seeing me again soon. Sounds good right?!

Well, later that evening he followed his text up with a phone call and we had a really good conversation again. We didn’t talk about anything too serious, just basic questions to get to know each other better. He asked me about my likes & dislikes, and I asked about his. All in all, our first phone call went pretty well. It was the conversations after that where things seemed to go downhill.

Our second phone call (which was two days later) started off good but he ended it abruptly so that he could finish whatever it was that he was doing when we first started talking. Now if I had called him that would’ve been okay, but why call me if you’re already busy? *Sigh* He did call me back, but midway thru that conversation he put me on hold. When he came back to the line he said that he needed to call me back in 45 seconds (literally, “45 seconds” is what he said). Did he call me back in 45 seconds? No, of course not, it was over an hour. But since it was getting late, I had moved on to other things and wasn’t able to answer the phone. He left a message & I returned his call the following day. He immediately apologized, saying that his friend was going thru something and really needed to ‘bend his ear’. Since then we’ve talked a few more times and every single time he has either been preoccupied or has had to end the conversation prematurely. He claims that he wants to take me out but he can’t even seem to focus on one conversation at a time! Needless to say, after our 3rd phone call, I was ready to stop talking to him altogether.

Now I know we can get pretty busy & even with the best of intentions, it’s easy to not call someone back right away. It’s also easy to have to end the phone call earlier than expected, after all life does happen. But if you choose to take the phone call, doesn’t the person on the other line deserve your full undivided attention?

While I was trying to be understanding to his situation & his busy schedule, I wasn’t sure why he kept calling (or taking my calls) if he was so busy all the time. When you are truly interested in getting to know someone, wouldn’t you make time for them? What was the point of asking for a person’s phone number if you never have the time to talk to them? All I know is, I will not let a man waste my time when he obviously doesn’t have enough for himself.

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