For some reason, I’ve always thought of women being the only ones who were afraid of spending their birthdays alone. Getting older is bad enough, particularly for women but there’s just something about having to spend the day by yourself that can be downright depressing.
Not having anyone to celebrate you, let alone celebrate with you, can really put a damper on an otherwise special day. Women tend to be more vocal about their wants & needs, so I hear all the time how much women want to have that “special someone” to enjoy their day with. In the months & weeks leading up to our birthdays we can really dwell on how we’re going to spend the day & who we should spend it with. When we are in a relationship, the answer is simple – let our man take care of everything. But when you’re single, there’s no telling who is gonna to help you enjoy your birthday.
Sure you’ve got your girlfriends & your family, but that’s not the same as having being with a man on your “big day”. The only problem is, we can’t ask a man to spend our big day with us because that would make us appear “desperate”. Not only can we not ask for a man to spend the day with us, we certainly can’t expect him to pay for something that we asked him to do, right?! But a man, on the other hand, can certainly ask a woman to help him celebrate his big day, even if they’re not together.
Case & point: My ex’s birthday was not too long ago & although we’re not together anymore, he still wanted to see me. He called me on his birthday (twice) & although I didn’t talk to him, I was willing to bet that he was calling so that we could spend some time together on his big day. Apparently, he hadn’t found anyone to fill my shoes & didn’t want to be alone. He thought that I would grant him a “pass” for his birthday and spend some quality time with him. I’m not sure what he was expecting…for me to take him out to dinner? Or for me to cook for him? Whatever it was that he wanted from me on his birthday, he didn’t get.
I’ve got another example: a man that I used to date mentioned that he wanted to go out of town for his birthday, which at the time was 4 months away. He wanted to go away for a long weekend & for me to come with him to help him celebrate. At the time, things weren’t that serious between us so I told him “We’ll see” since there was still time to figure things out.
But as it got closer to his birthday he really started to press me on whether or not I was going to go with him out of town. He needed to make reservations but couldn’t do so until he knew if it was going to be a “Party of 1” or a “Party of 2”. He & I eventually stopped hanging out together and had fewer & fewer conversations in the months leading up to his birthday. When we finally did catch up with each other, he mentioned that he was still taking a trip and still wanted me to come with him. I asked him why did he want me to come with him? After all, we hadn’t talked in months. Surely, there was another woman he could take or someone else he would meet between now & his birthday. But he insisted that he wanted to take me. His exact words were, “What, you want me to take a ‘random’?” Lol. He meant that because he didn’t have a new significant other in his life, he didn’t want to have to start all over just so he could find new someone to spend his birthday with. With the day rapidly approaching, he would rather take me than a “random”. No matter if it was for an entire weekend or just his birthday, he wanted to spend it with me so he wouldn’t be by himself.
Of course, since we hadn’t talked in months, I didn’t feel comfortable accepting the (free) trip but it just goes to show that women aren’t the only ones who don’t want to be alone on their special day. Men may not be as vocal about it, but they want to have someone to celebrate with them just like we do.
Men, how important is it to you to spend your special day with someone special?