I have a friend who is very, very intrusive. Every time I date a new guy one of the first questions she asks me is, “What does he do for a living?” While there is nothing wrong with asking basic questions about a person, my friend seems to put a lot of emphasis on what a man does for a living & how much (money) he brings to the table.
Although there are other details that I think are far more important about a man’s character than what he does for a living, my friend tends to be super critical of a man’s career path. She’s like this with every man I tell her I’m dating, and I’m sure she’s like this with her other friends too. When I tell her what my new beau does for a living, she always has a follow-up question: where does he work? Then she’ll ask what his title is and how long he’s worked there. Isn’t that a lot to be asking considering these are questions about someone that she’s not dating herself? It’s as if she needs to know his financial value before learning more about his emotional value in my life.
I’m not sure why she asks all these questions. To my knowledge, she’s not dated anyone who is super rich or has a “fancy” job title. As a matter of fact, she’s not dating anyone right now & hasn’t in a long while (it’s a long story). I’m not saying she can’t desire the best for other people, but perhaps her questions would be better received if she were doing it out of a place of care & concern, not nosiness & intrusiveness.
I’ve been tempted to tell her that what my man does for a living is none of her business because I know that the higher up he is, the more likely she is to think highly of him. Don’t get me wrong, I know it takes a lot of hard work & diligence to move up the ranks at work but I just don’t think a man’s career is as important as how he treats me.
When she finally does get a chance to meet my guy in person, she’s already formed an opinion about him based on what he does for a living. Of course, anyone I date should be treated well by my friends, whether they’re a janitor or a CEO but naturally, most people have more respect for those who have better job titles along with the education it took to get them there. This is why we are more impressed with people who went to Harvard than we are with people who went to the University of Wyoming (lol).
That’s another thing – She’ll ask what college my guy attended, what type of degree he holds and how many degrees he has. I may ask the same question when I first meet a man that I’m interested in dating, but I don’t necessarily ask these questions of my friend’s boyfriend. I find this particularly ironic, especially since my friend didn’t go to an Ivy League herself, nor does she have an important job title.
At the end of the day, my friend is too much in my man’s pockets, and probably just needs a man of her own.
Do you have any friends who are all up in your business or the business of the person you’re dating?