I recently wrote about guys who have been “friend zoned”. It’s not because they’re not nice guys, unattractive or disinterested in marriage – instead these men have been friend zoned because they are just not my type.
Some of these men are really good guys (and why wouldn’t they be if they were my friends), but does that mean they would be good “lovers”? Perhaps there should be more to our friendship than just being friendly. Would any of my guy friends make good boyfriends?
Here are some more of my guy friends with reasons why they just didn’t make the cut. (And of course, I didn’t use their real names):
- Chucky – Chucky is my kinda guy. He’s tall, attractive, fun-to-be-around and is quite intelligent. The only problem with him is that he is not interested in marriage. As he likes to put it, “Been there, done that.” As a 1-time divorcee he did not have a good experience. His was married for about a decade and things ended somewhat badly. So while Chucky is marriage material, he is not marriage-minded.
- Ray – Ray is a workaholic. He works for a high-ranking public official & has to pull long hours a lot. He does have some down time, but that is mainly used for resting and spending time with his own family so he doesn’t have a lot of time for dating or intimacy. There would be no consistency with him & I can already see myself putting in as much work into our relationship as he puts into his job.
- Marcus – Marcus has got baggage. A lot of baggage. There’s no other way to put it. He’s got kids, baby mama’s, child support plus a divorce under his belt and he is no way interested in doing any of that all over again. Although he indicated that he might be willing to settle down again, he already has so much on his plate that I don’t see a future between us.
- Leonard – Leonard is a great guy but has zero personality. He’s a got a good heart & will make a great husband one day to some lucky woman but he certainly doesn’t have enough personality to hold my interest. He’s nice to have as a friend but he’s borderline “boring” to me and not nearly as cultured or exciting as I would like. I know that life will bring enough excitement so I’m not looking for a guy who’s totally “out there”, but I do need someone who is interesting enough so that I’m not tempted to get that elsewhere.
- John – John is a straight player. He’s got a good job, a nice car, a charming personality & no drama (that I know of). He’s tall, pretty good looking and everyone likes him. He’s a fun person and loves being around people. When I first met him, I thought he had a genuine interest in me only to find out that he was also genuinely interested in lots of other women too (much to my chagrin!). So while he may be a good guy to date, he certainly wouldn’t be a good guy to marry.
Do you have any friends who can be more than just friends?! How can you be so sure that they would make a better boyfriend than friend?