A lot of times women get their feelings hurt when they’re dating someone and unfortunately, it may just be the woman’s fault. I know it’s happened to me before. I’ve set myself up for failure quite a few times all because I got ahead of myself.
I’ll meet a guy, decide that I really like him and that he should really like me. By our 3rd or 4th date I’ve already got our wedding planned and the colors of our newly decorated kitchen in my mind. I’ve even imagined what I would wear the first time I meet his parents and what his siblings might think of me. I’ve forethought how he would propose and what time of the year we were likely to be married based on the length of engagement.
And I know I’m not alone. A lot of women get hyper excited when they meet a guy that they think could be “the one”. They think about what kind of ring he’ll propose with, what their new last name will be, and the “perfect” little life that they’re going to live together. And why wouldn’t they? If you already know that you’re a good catch & you meet a guy who’s a good catch, where is the harm in thinking about your future together? While it may be a bit presumptuous, it’s natural to get excited about the prospect of love.
I happen to do this all the time. I have recently discovered that this is a way of me hurting my own feelings. Every time I get excited about a guy that I’ve just met, I am always expecting the best from him. I am expecting that he won’t break my heart, I’m expecting for him to be the one and I’m expecting that he will soon figure out that I’m the one for him. I know it doesn’t always happen like this, but this is what happens when logic meets emotion. So when things don’t happen that way, it means I have set myself up for failure.
When I daydream about my future with a man I barely know I am setting myself up for failure. The thing is, you don’t need a long time to know if you really like someone or if they’re a good fit for you, but all that daydreaming & fantasizing about your life together can end up hurting you if things don’t work out. It especially hurts when the man doesn’t even know how you much you liked him in the beginning. And this is exactly how women hurt their own feelings.
The question is how can I stop all of this? I can’t help it! I can’t help the fact that my brain takes things further then it should when I meet someone I really like. As much as I’d love to dial it back, I’m only able to do so after my feelings have been hurt.
Sometimes we create our own heartbreaks through expectations. So, ladies what do you do to NOT hurt your own feelings?