My Dating ‘Point System’

bad date

Whenever I date someone new I always have a very unique way of figuring out how much I like them. Of course there’s the “natural” way – that is, how they make you feel, how often you think about them when they’re not around, etc. All of those feelings are good & everything, but they are just that – feelings. And we all know that feelings can be fickle. In my field of work we would call that qualitative data, but I like having quantitative data also. A.k.a – a point system.

So what do I mean when I say I have a “point system”? Well there are certain things that turn me off and there are some things that turn me on when I’m dating a guy. Let’s review the things that can either give a man points or take them away:

  1. Calling frequency – no one wants to be harassed, but it is nice to know that someone is thinking of you. So how often a man calls means a lot to me. If he calls often it means I’m on his mind, and if he doesn’t call often enough that means he’s too busy to talk with me.
  2. Planning a date – it doesn’t take a Harvard trained lawyer to plan a nice evening out. However, a lot of times men will still call me & ask what I want to do or if I have any ideas for our date. While I appreciate them checking with me first, I do wish that they had something already planned and then giving me options versus expecting me to come up with the ideas in the first place.
  3. Does he dress nicely? – I love a well-dressed man. I’ve written before about how men are so lackadaisical in the way they dress that when they take a woman out they oftentimes are underdressed. If a man dresses nicely then he definitely gets more points in my book. He wants me to look good, and I want him to look good too!
  4. Is he affectionate? – I like affectionate men. Maybe not on the first date so much, but an appropriate level of physical touch is a good way to know if a man is into me. Nothing too much of course, but an affectionate man will certainly win points in my book.
  5. Frequency of texts – as I’ve written and other posts, I’m not a big fan of texting. It’s OK every now & then but it should not be our primary mode of communication. If a man sends me a lot of text messages asking me about my day, or any other topics then that is a huge turn off & he loses points.


Ladies, what things give you pleasure when a man takes you out? What gives him that “boost” over other men?

Guys, do any of these things seem too difficult to achieve? Why is it so hard to find a good guy to do these 5 simple things?

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