I went to a wedding recently and during the reception one of the other guests ask me why I was still single. I never know the right way to answer this question but luckily she made it easy for me. Instead of waiting for me to answer she threw out some options as to why women in their 30s are still single even though they may not want to be.
She started the conversation by asking if I was too picky, to which I answered “no”. I do have a pretty lengthy list in terms of what I want in a man, however, there are only a couple of things on that list that are mandatory. I told her some of my preferred qualifications (like height, education, etc.) but she really pressed me to find out what my other requirements were.
After I went down my what-is-required list I took a pause and told her “This is probably what’s keeping me single.” Then I said it, “I want a man who does not have children.” Other words, I will not resign to the possibility of being with someone who has a ready-made family.
She sighed. She knew exactly where I was coming from & agreed that was probably why I’m still single. Like many others already have, she told me that I may be missing out on a lot of quality men who happen to have children. She asked me why I didn’t want a man with kids and instead of running down the whole list of my reasons why (which I wrote about in this post), I simply told her “Because I don’t have any”.
There are plenty of women who won’t date men who have criminal records (been there, done that), too close to their mother (they wouldn’t stand a chance with me) or don’t even own a car (that’s no fun). I choose to take a stance on men who have children. Yes, yes, yes. I know what the statistics are; I know there aren’t that many single, eligible men in my age range who don’t have any children. BUT, I DON’T CARE BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE ANY KIDS so statistics don’t mean everything!
Perhaps one day I’ll change my way of thinking (yeah, when I’m about 50). But for now as a young woman who brings a lot to the table & doesn’t have any children herself, I stand firm on not wanting to date a man who has children. Besides, those men wouldn’t want to date me anyway because I would resent the fact that I’m dating a man with kids. What do you think? Single men/women, have you given up your desire to date someone without children? Or do you think it’s still possible to meet “a good catch” who is childfree?!