Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, oh my! Social media is officially in the building and on the streets.
It’s you. It’s us. It’s exposure. It’s complicated. I think we can all agree that social media has completely changed relationship dynamics, especially in the world of communication and disclosure. We confess and we invite and we watch the likes, retweets, replies and blocks.
All along, they who post have their intentions and they who read have their opinions. For nearly everyone but the writer, there is a car crash effect that’s hard to deny.
And in the spirit of accidents, let’s count the top 10 reasons relationship problems don’t belong on social media.
10. Even with survivors comes injury. So you’ve survived the crash but you’re injured. Hearts can heal and minds can learn but the impact of exposing wounds can be massive. Your reputation. Your integrity. Your social capital. It’s all in jeopardy and we’re Alex Trebek.
9. There will be rebuttal witnesses to what happened. You said “this” and someone will inevitably say “that.” That rebuttal witness can be an ex or even a mutual friend who’s now in a tough position because they don’t see things the way you do. Do you really want to play this game?
8. You may have a hard time getting your license back. Care to drive again? Okay, but are you a safe driver? The more you expose your negative driving record, the more hesitant people are going to be to take that ride with you. No one wants to date someone that constantly has baggage.
7. People may not want to ride with you again. When you share relationship problems on social media, you’re inviting an audience and hoping for condolences and words of wisdom and encouragement. Friends are friends but they can only take so much excitement and intrigue. And before you say that true friends stick it out, there’s also something to be said about true friends not consistently bringing people too far into their chaos.
6. Your insurance will go up. Even as you get back out there, people will be cautious with you. Be it friends, potential next partners, etc. And the deeper the details you share, or the more frequent, the higher the relationship premiums are. There is a risk of dating and befriending someone that has issues and posterizes them.
5. You will need to fix your car or buy a new one. In this social media car crash, you’ll have scars and bruises and you’ll need to do some repair before you’re ready to go out again. When you share them all, however, those same scars and bruises must be fixed in the eyes of others.
4. Once you’ve put in the claim, you can’t adjust the details. Once you document the details of the accident, they can’t be altered. It’s out there and people are soaking it up.
3. There are other survivors to think of. Your pain will be others pain. Haven’t they gone through enough? This could be your children, friends, family or even your significant other. Don’t make your grief theirs anymore than it has to be.
2. The paparazzi are ruthless and on the scene quicker than you can say “my neck hurts!” In everyone’s social media circles lies people that are just waiting for the accident so they can revel in or distort the details.
1. You’re a survivor. So act like one. True survivors are courageous, strong and persevere. That doesn’t show through when we use social media as a canvas to paint our problems and grievances for the world to see.
*Originally posted on Huffington Post