Love and respect should go hand in hand. He is supposed to love you and you are suppose to respect him. However, too many women aren’t finding love because they haven’t found respect. Many things go into gaining respect from a man. Men respect the women they love. Most men do not love women they can not respect. The definition of respect in Merriam Webster’s dictionary is to consider worthy of high or special regard.
The best way to earn respect from anyone is to respect yourself. Confucius said “Respect yourself and others will respect you.” Dostoevsky said “If you want to be respected by others, the great thing is to respect yourself. Only by that, only by self respect will you compel others to respect you.” Men respect women who love and respect themselves. Holding yourself and your life in high regard is a great way to demonstrate respect for yourself. Set high standards for yourself and do not make choices that are disrespectful to the life you want and who you want to be.
The Authentic Woman
Men love women who are authentic and feminine according to Mathew Boggs, author of “Cracking the Man Code.” They like to be the man and pursue. Being true to yourself and not trying to act the way you think a man wants you to act will allow a man to really respect you for who you are. Men don’t need women to be like them to get respect, they need women to be like a woman. This doesn’t mean you can not be an intelligent, hard-working, out-going or even participate in sports. It just means you should still be a woman in relation to men.
Say No To Sex Too Soon
Believe it or not, as much as men want to have sex with you, when you give in too soon, you often lose huge respect points. According to author and speaker Mathew Boggs in “Cracking The Man Code,” men need time to fall in love with you, or as Boggs says, “get out of Miami and get to Seattle.” This means that men are thinking party time, as if they are in Miami when they meet you, and then they need time to get their heads into a space that they can fall in love. This takes time. They need to get to know you.
Tell The Truth
Honesty and integrity are keys to getting respect form anyone. Never lie. A man can not respect you if he can not trust you. It is also key not to subtly lie by portraying yourself in a way that gives the wrong impression. If you are looking for a relationship, tell the truth. If he isn’t looking for one, don’t waste your time or his by continuing to engage with him and giving him the wrong idea.
In Dr. Emerson Eggerichs’ book, “Love & Respect,” he states that men feel contempt when they are criticized and they feel disrespected themselves, and therefore can not feel respect or love at that time. Understand the power of your words and don’t underestimate them. Always come from a place of kindness, respect and love when dealing with people and you will get the same in return.
Respect is earned through your behavior. When mistakes are made, amends must be made as well. When you are acting out of love and respect for yourself and others, love and respect will be given to you, and if it isn’t, just remember some men are narcissists and they can not give respect to anyone. These men should be avoided.
*Originally published on Live Strong.