Excuses Don’t Burn Cardio!

Well folks, it’s that time of year when everyone is renewing their virtually unused gym memberships and trying to burn off those holiday calories. And in true ‘Chocolate Vent’ fashion, I’d like to share some of my observances from the gym as we usher in a whole new year!:

No dates at the gym – Guys, please don’t bring your girlfriend to the gym with you unless she is serious about working out. I have seen too many couples come in, holding hands, chit chatting & not getting any exercise. The girlfriend is usually taking up precious space in the workout area not mention the equipment that she’s “fake using”. I get the whole ‘quality time’ argument but the gym is really not the time or the place to date. Why not split up, get your workout on individually & then reunite when it’s time to leave? Unless you’re taking a fitness class together is there really a need to be side-by-side on every single piece of equipment? I saw one girl talking her boyfriend’s ear off while he was trying to lift some major weight. He couldn’t concentrate & she sure wasn’t much of a spotter with all of the weight he was attempting to lift. So why was she even there? It’s funny because when they left, he was sweaty & tired and she looked just as fresh as when they first came in. The moral of the story is: Don’t bring your girlfriend to workout with you unless she is there to, I don’t know, actually workout!

gf at the gym

All personal trainers should be required to put their pictures on their business cards – I need to see what my potential PT actually looks like and I’m not talking about just a headshot either. I need to see the full physique – arms, chest, legs & all. Otherwise, how are you going to convince me that I should hire you when all I can see is your smile & the shape of your head?! Sell me! Prove that you have the discipline to get me where I need to be. The best way to do this is to have a muscly picture of yourself on your own business card. After all, 1st impressions are everything so impress me with that hot body!

fat trainer

Cover up that booty! – Ladies, please wear appropriate clothing to the gym. All women should wear t-shirts that at least cover their behinds. Ladies, just because you are at the gym to work on your booty, doesn’t mean EVERYONE wants to look at it. Please, save some of that showing off for when you leave the gym. Thanks!

cover your butt

Ring an alarm for people who don’t wipe down their equipment – How many times have I seen someone use a machine only to just walk away afterwards without cleaning or wiping it down? My gym has cameras everywhere & I think it would be great if they made an announcement every time someone left a treadmill or some dumbbells sweaty & unsanitized. “Would the gentlemen in the grey sweatshirt & neon pink socks please wipe off the equipment you just used for the health & safety of everyone after you, please?!” That would be hilarious!! Everyone would clean up after themselves then!


Punching bags should have their own rooms – if there was ever a need for soundproof rooms, this would be why. There are so many inappropriate noises that come out of men’s mouths when they hit that punching bag, they deserve their own section at the gym.


Pluck out those wedgies! – Getting a wedgie is just a part of life. But they seem to happen rather frequently at the gym. Unlike at work or at church it is perfectly fine to pick your underwear out of your behind. Don’t walk around in those tight gym pants or sweats letting me see how uncomfortable you are from behind! Be comfortable, unclench & pull those underwear out!




5 thoughts on “Excuses Don’t Burn Cardio!

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