Solange, What Were You Thinking?!


In case you haven’t heard, Solange Knowles (Beyonce’s little sister) just got married last weekend in New Orleans. Her new husband (she has been married before) is Alan Ferguson, an award-winning music video director. They’ve been spotted publicly since 2008 and seem to have a lot in common. They look like a lovely couple but the worst part of it all is that she is in her 20’s and he is in his 50’s. He is 23 years older than she is.

Solange, sweetie what were you thinking?! Why on earth would you marry someone who is old enough to be your dad and is only slightly younger than your own mother?! You are in the prime of your life & have so much growing to do. Although you are more mature than most, you are still young yet & don’t know what you don’t know. Yes, you have been married before. Yes, you are someone’s mother. And yes, you have seen the world & are a self-made woman. But none of this has prepared you to be the wife of 51-year old.

You are still coming into your own & still figuring out what this thing called life is really about. Someone in their 50’s has done & seen it all. Even if you did initiate the courtship when you first met and even if you are in love with this man now, what kind of future will you have together? Why would you choose to be with someone who has such a vastly different outlook on life, one that can only come with age & experience – both of which you have not. You have so much growing to do, Solange.

Let’s not forget that you have a 10-year old son. You are essentially subjecting him to someone who is old enough to be his grandfather. Will you have other children? Do you anticipate raising another child (or children) and taking care of your husband as he ages in another 10-20 years? Why subject you and your children to dealing with all of that when you are such a young lady yourself? How will this impact them? Marrying an older man is one thing, but marrying a much older man is another.

One has to wonder what a 51 year-old man has in common with a 28-year old woman. Do you enjoy each other’s company? Definitely. Do you have the same taste in music? Sure. Do you share political views? Probably. But how can he share the same goals or the same vision for a family when he has already outlived more than half of his life and you are just beginning yours? Because of your age difference, you should be in two totally different places in life.

I think it’s great that you’ve found love. But are you sure it’s love? Are you sure it’s not merely adoration or admiration for someone so much older, accomplished and esteemed? Are you sure he’s not with you for your youthful spirit, your confidence or your beauty and not for a long-term future?

Solange, congratulations on your nuptials. I hope that your marriage is as solid as the faith you put into it.

Solange 2

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