Last year I wrote about things in marriage I don’t think I’ll like. Things like having to share a bank account, taking on a new last name & dealing with in-laws (oh boy!). But there are many more reasons why I am afraid to get married. Here they are in no particular order:
- Sex with the same person over & over (and over) – It’s no secret that doing the same thing with the same person repeatedly can get boring. Even if it is your favorite thing to do! It’s hard to keep things fresh over the years and even women fear being stuck in a routine.
- Dealing with his shiftless friends – Every man I’ve ever dated seems to have at least 1 no-good friend. That friend who keeps him out late, tempts him with his bachelor-like ways and doesn’t have much regard for married life. Sometimes that friend can end up in your guest bedroom or unknowingly ruin your marriage.
- Loss of my independence – Men aren’t the only ones who are afraid of losing their freedom. Before getting married, women can come & go as they want, dress as sexy as they please and spend their money how they want. We don’t have to take anyone else’s feelings into consideration. If I want to exercise every day or cut off all my hair, I can! I can use my vacation days how I want & don’t have to clean anything until I get ready. We can even leave the bathroom door open!
- Missing my girlfriends – I love my girlfriends! They mean so much to me as a single woman & I can’t imagine the day when I won’t be able to call them at midnight for a little ‘girl chat’. When I get married I can’t talk to them for hours & hours on end like I do now. Not to mention, I would have to be mindful of the information I’m sharing with them & consider my husband’s feelings instead.
- Adultery – This is probably my worst fear because there is little I can do to keep a grown man from cheating. There are so many stories of men cheating and everyone knows how much that can tear a family apart. A lot of other transgressions can be forgiven but breaking our marriage vows will not be taken lightly. I haven’t stayed single this long to end up with a man who disrespects me & my body so adultery is definitely grounds for divorce.
- My body – Even the Scripture says “The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband.” This means that when a woman gets married her body belongs to her husband (and his body belongs to her). Whether the couple decides to start a family, or even to fulfill her wifely duties, she is surrendering her body to the marriage. Men don’t seem to understand how serious that is. I don’t think they know how scary that can be for a woman to have to yield what was once hers to someone else. Men, think of it like your bank account: Before getting married, you were the only one who had access to your money & could do whatever you wanted with it. But once you get married, your wife has access to your account and it is no longer just your money. You may not want her dipping into your bank account all the time but in the interest of making her happy, you let her. It’s the same way with our bodies. That’s deep!
Ladies, am I leaving anything out? Do you have any fears about marriage? How do you plan on handling them (if you haven’t already)?
Men, how would you handle these fears that women have? Do you have any advice for women who might be facing these fears? I’d love to hear them, so please share in the comments below –