1. Your night could be ruined because some guy set all the fireworks off at once.
2. You could attempt to make this beautiful cake. And it ends up looking like you already ate the cake, barfed it up, and put it back together.
3. You could go to Best Buy to get a sound system for your backyard BBQ and be scared shitless to even go a step further.
4. You could live in this town.
5. You could buy these fireworks and then all you can think of is sexy, electric pee all day.
6. This man could come to your party.
7. Or this clever gentleman could photobomb the sweet portrait you and your BFF just tried to take.
9. Or you could know the person who makes this nearly impossible-to-make mistake.
10. The moment you realize your patriotism only goes so far.
11. You could be this dog.
12. Or this cat.
13. You could end up in the emergency room because your friend thought he was Captain America.
14. Your children could meet this man. And then they never sleep again.
15. Your custom cake could end up like this. You’re drunk, cake. Go home, cake.
16. You could end up at a party in this park. Aka, the most UN-American park there is.
18. Aliens could invade the earth and kill you.
19. Whatever bright idea happened five seconds after this photo was taken.
20. You could anger this intense man.
21. You could be poor individual who lost a bet and his friends made him do this.
22. You could just be driving your car when all of a sudden:
23. Presented without comment.
Be safe this 4th, y’all.
*This article was originally published on Buzzfeed.