I’d be lying if I say it’s never happened to me: Rejection.
When you approach someone you feel/hope you have a chance with, a solid yes is the goal. You pursue, be it subtle or blatant, with the undaunted ambition of a love connection.
Life has taught me that one plus one does not only equal two. There’s the off-chance that you (or me) are not the apple of every Seeing Eye.
It’s called an old fashioned “NO” and it works to kill a crush buzz quicker than a toddler seat in the backseat of the man’s car who now has your number!
What the WHAT?!? So when you get politely dissed, let me give you a few benefits of being friends when loves goals go amiss.
5. There’s a thing I’m sure we all can attest to experiencing called ‘buyer’s remorse.’ We see it, we want it, and we get it home only to realize we have three other things just like it! We see someone we want and go off little-to-no knowledge as to why we ‘want’ them, only to find out they’re not what we want anyway! It’s not that great to do again. So just return it. Get my drift?
4. When you see something in someone you want in your life on a daily basis, and they don’t see the same in you, it’s best you let that be. This will keep you available for someone who can see your worth and value you for who you are. It’s not okay to show up in a perfunctory relationship because you’re a ‘good girl.’ Even when they don’t want you they’d rather covet you than see you with someone else. (*side eye)
3. The Friend-zone is a much more comfortable space to get the ‘real’ person and not the representative. Personally, I’m more apt to have a beer, laugh in my natural tone over boneless wings and sports with someone I’m friends with instead of a lover in pursuit of me.
2. There’s room to grow when you are friends first. Not the kind of friend hoping and waiting for your shot, but a true friend with each other’s best interests at heart. You’ll develop a love and respect for each other, that a fast-track rumble to a relationship will never have the space for. Take your time and be sincere in your friendship. This applies to men and women!
1. The number one reason the friend-zone is a true benefit is the chance that your friendship can last far beyond the confines of a relationship. Know yourself. Be true to yourself. Seek your desires and evaluate who’s in your life and why. I’m not saying collect a slew of friends when you want love. I’m not saying take a friendship as a consolation prize. If being friends with someone you have intimate feelings for is too painful, cut it off! Find solace in the connection and deal from there. I am and it’s a beautiful feeling.
*This article was originally published on Six Brown Chicks.