The Flying Heebee Jeebies

With Labor Day weekend now behind us, I had the (mis)fortune of having to take a flight out of town. Well, similar to my gym randoms, I have observed a few randoms from my time in the friendly skies

  • The pilots should be required to come out & shake everyone’s hand after each flight – I just entrusted my life in your hands. The least you can do is come out & greet me. Even a surgeon shakes your hand and chats it up with you before cutting you open. Anyone who is lifting me 30,000 feet in the air should extend the same courtesies.
  • If I ride on an older airplane, then I should get a discount on my airfare – After all, we are flying without all the bells & whistles of a newer model. Take Southwest for example – most of their planes are basic, don’t air in-flight movies, and don’t offer any other amenities like pillows or blankets. Same with Spirit Airlines, which specialize in flying no-frill airplanes. Most of these older planes are still in service so unless I’m on a plane with comfortable plush seating, wider aisles and better accommodations, I don’t think that I should be paying the same fare as if I were flying on a Boeing 757. Besides, aren’t all those older models already paid off anyways?
  • Every flight should offer magazines & newspapers – Think of a beauty salon, barbershop, or even the doctor’s office. Don’t they all offer magazines for people to read while they are waiting? Why should the airplane be any different? At least in the beauty salon I only wait a few minutes, versus in an airplane I’m waiting for hours before I land. Yes, some people may try to take these magazines, but the doctor’s office doesn’t seem to have that problem do they?
  • Why is there no heating on the plane? – Did you notice that there is only a nozzle for cool air and not hot air above each seat? I think that there should be an option for heat because sometimes flying at a high altitude in the middle of winter can get pretty chilling.
  • Breath mints should be mandatory – To me this is a no-brainer. As close as everyone is sitting to each other, everyone should be required to pop a mint as soon as they board. Just like at a hotel, there should be a Starlight peppermint on everyone’s seat on the plane.

flying7

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