The other night I went to a relationship forum and there was a lot of talk about “The List”. The question came up as to whether or not women keep a list of the qualities & characteristics they want in a man and the response was a resounding “Yes!” When the men were asked if they had a list the answer was still yes but the men admitted to having a much shorter list than most women do. So what’s on these lists? And are these “lists” truly necessary? Well, since I can’t speak from a guy’s perspective, I’ll give you my opinion & tell you a little bit about my list.
Yes, I do have a “list”. I have a written list of things that I want in a man and although some of those qualities evolve over time, the majority of things I’m looking for haven’t changed. The last time I checked my list had about 20 qualities, which a lot of people may think are too many. (I tend to think that it’s not enough, but that’s another post) When men hear that I am looking for 20 qualities they laugh at me & often say “So, that’s why you’re still single”. Well, I am to here to write that I don’t care what people think or if they laugh because I think my list is valid and don’t plan on getting rid of it anytime soon. So what’s on my list you might be wondering? I won’t share everything because that would be too long but here are a few of the qualities that I want in a man –
- God-fearing: This is priority #1. I need a man who loves & serves the Lord. Notice I said love AND serve. Not a guy that just says, “I believe in God” or “Yeah, I go to church”. I know a lot of men don’t actively wear their Christianity on their sleeve but if I can’t see the God in you then I can’t see me with you
- Ambitious: Life is too short to stay happy where you are. If you can do more, you should. I’m preaching to myself on this one, but I believe anyone who is not working to their potential needs to get off their behind & make it happen! I have too much life left to be with someone who is complacent where they are
- Attractive: I’ve written about this before. Everyone can agree that attractiveness is very important in a relationship and I’ve always thought this was something that I would have to compromise on. As a woman, you always hear that a man can become attractive to you over time or if he has a great personality he will start to look better. I have resolved that I don’t want to be with someone that I’m not attracted to, so this quality will stay on my list.
- Romantic: Life is tough, so a little romance with my husband would be nice. I’m not expecting to be romanced every week but a guy who knows how to light a candle and owns a wine rabbit will go a long way with me. J
- No children: This is something that I will write about in a future post, but I am definitely not interested in being a stepmother at this point in my life.
- Personality: Anyone who knows me personally knows that I’m pretty outgoing. I can’t be with someone who can’t hold their own in terms of conversation. I need intellectual stimulation (that is such a sexy term, isn’t it?!) and someone I can have fun with. So if a guy is boring or can’t keep me interested then he’s not the one for me.
As you can see this is only a glimpse of my “list”. I get much more detailed as the list goes on.
So, do men keep a list? And if so, how many things are on it? I’m talking about beyond the basics – attraction, smart, loyal, etc. – what else is on a man’s list?
I’d love to hear your thoughts….