Am I Wasting My Youth By Not Having Enough Sex?

Debbie Reynolds recently gave an interview where she said “I wish I had enjoyed more sex.” Of all the things she could’ve said that was quite a statement to make at 81 years old! But her comment made me wonder whether or not I’m having enough sex.

Admittedly, I haven’t had a lot of sexual partners but I’m already over 30 and not even close to getting married. Should I have more sex before I get too old? Perhaps I should just add more sexual partners to my roster before I get married? Now, I am not saying that I’m going to go wilin’ out but maybe it wouldn’t kill me to have a little more experience. I won’t have my looks forever (or my figure, for that matter) so why waste my youth by not having more sex now?

Everyone already thinks that the older you get the less sex you have, whether married or unmarried. And the older you get there are fewer & fewer available men to have sex with so if I don’t have my fun now, there’s a chance I may miss out altogether. I would hate for one of my regrets in life to be “I didn’t have enough sex when I was younger & nobody wants me now that I’m older.” (Lol)

The problem is that it’s not that easy to have more sex when you get older. Even in my thirties it takes a lot more energy & effort to hook up with someone who doesn’t have any drama, diseases or other issues.  Not to mention it takes a lot more physically to stay in shape than when I was in my twenties. Since I’m not sexually active now, I feel like I am doing the right thing by not “sleeping around”. I can only hope that the quality of sex that I’ll have when I get older will make up for the sex that I’m missing out on as a young woman.


14 thoughts on “Am I Wasting My Youth By Not Having Enough Sex?

  1. I am with the other ladies on this one. Quality over quantity. Don’t worry so much, all you can do is live a full and rounded life. I believe that when you do, you attract good things into your life. When I hit 30 I panicked and dated some fools that looking back was a totally unnecessary experience. Hey we live and learn . I met my love at 34 and it honestly came after a process of self development – working on myself and my dreams. Anyway, women hit their sexual peak in their 30’s so you’ll have plenty of good times ahead.

  2. Surprised this post didn’t get more attention..Its a VERY good one; or least thats the way I see it. Honestly? I can’t speak from a “bad sexual experience” stance..Does that really EXIST? Lawd! Anyways, lol, there is NO perfect answer to this question. None. Its a topic you’ve got to do alot of soul searching about…In my opinion the “natural” time for exploration, on most things, is in early 20s. Sow your oats & feel around for what one wants to do for a career; all those type of things. This is a personal topic that IF I were to advise you; I’d be wrong out the gate. Why? Because YOU alone are the one who will have to live with the consequences! a. If you don’t have enough GREAT sex & don’t get married until you’re much older..well I’m sure for SOME sex gets less active as they age(BUT I’m hoping that doesn’t prove true for me; since I’m riding on a current hiatus of a little over 3 years…) & whose to say if you’ll fall into that category? Like many things in this LIfe Journey there is NO map laid out for us to know which road to take..We’ve just got to have Faith & confidence! that no matter which road we choose; it leads us to the final destination that is best for us. Its all a great BIG learning curve to make us into what we were born to B..Advice I gave my sons who are younger than you. HAVE FUN , THOUGH ALWAYS SAFELY, IN YOUR YOUTH . Ok, finished now. Good luck my Sista! Stay uplifted and blessed.

    1. Thanks, this is so true. Everyone’s journey is different. I’m on an abstinence streak right now myself but i don’t want to look up, blink & I’m 40 and haven’t had any in 10 years. Eeekk!

      I’m just going to continue “not doing it” and trust that I’ll be lead to do the right thing when & if the opportunity presents itself. And hopefully when I get married the quality of sex will make up for what I’ve been missing —- “Bad sex when you’re married” will be another post for another day. Whew!

      1. Lollll well I can’t say I’ve experienced that last one! And hope I never do..Not sure about you ; but NO way my voluntary “desert streak” is going to run 10 years. I’d rather give up food than go that long..Just thinking about that number is making my body go through withdrawals. Or maybe thats from a lack OF..I think I’m about at my MAX amount of time in this phase. Soon as my Bday is over & I’ve got more free time I’m hitting the dating scene. Putting myself officially back on the market! Can you imagine the blogs that will come from that venture? Never a dull moment in this Life Journey for sure. 🙂

  3. There! There! “Clarise!” [yes, I am naming you ‘Clarise’ from now on] Don’t fret! Don’t fret the sex thing, don’t fret the marriage thing. Don’t you worry your pretty little head of such medial things. YOU ARE BLESSED, CLARISE! [you will mark my words one day] Save your precious jewels… your Sugar Bowl… your Georgia Peach! Believe me! It will be worth it in the end. Hopefully when you get to my age, you won’t have to look back, find yourself reminenscing about the past and feel regrets. And then asking God for forgiveness for every wasted moment you spent with someone who was never worth your time, let alone, your body. There are many paths in life you could follow… be sure to follow the path that is self-rewarding in the end, at the finish line, when the fat lady sings! Once you have traveled thru this cloud of smoke that you are in and the air becomes clear and fresh, the skies are bright, and the flowers are blooming with its radiant colors; you’ll find that GOD has put you in the pathway of the right man, the right lover, friend & husband. Hopefully, you will feel no need to look back and shake your head at the bread crumbs you left behind. Take it from me… I know… now!

  4. Quality is the key word there 🙂
    I’ve had plenty of experience, and most of it was not good. Seeking out more sex may be an awesome idea, but you’re also right on track with the quality bit!

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