When A Guy Isn’t a Gentleman Is His Mom To Blame?

Between my male relatives, dating and having a lot of guy friends I have come across a lot of men. And I don’t know if I should just chalk it up to “it’s a new era” or something else but men just aren’t gentlemen anymore. At least not the kind my father taught me to appreciate.

I realize that this is the 21st century and new times call for new dating practices but there are certain things that are just unacceptable when courting a woman that a man should have been taught. So my question is: Who do I blame for a man not being a gentleman – him or his mother?

Some examples of being a gentleman include:

  • Opening the door (all doors, including the car door)
  • Paying for the date
  • Compliments
  • Tasteful conversation
  • No pressure of intimacy
  • Being considerate to a woman’s friends & family
  • Offering to help when help is needed

Men don’t seem to offer these qualities anymore and I would dare say it’s because they probably don’t feel as though they have to. There are plenty of women that would allow a man to get away with treating her less than she deserves so the bar has been lowered for a lot of men. My contention is that just because other women have lowered their standards, doesn’t mean that I should accept less from any man. I still expect to be treated a certain way when dating a man (and yes, I treat him the way I want to be treated) but that’s becoming harder & harder to come by.

So, who do I blame – Other women for allowing men to treat them less than they deserve, the man himself or do I blame his parents for not raising him to be the gentleman I deserve?

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4 thoughts on “When A Guy Isn’t a Gentleman Is His Mom To Blame?

  1. LOL! I agree with you. I’m enjoying my single life, but I am always open to meeting a man who has the qualities I’m looking for. Fatherless men need not apply…

  2. Most of these black men that are NOT gentlemen were also NOT raised by a father in the home! I feel like some mothers are to blame because they let these guys get away with a lot, and they really can’t teach them how to be men. I’m 36 years old, and I have yet to meet a guy to treat me well. Please know that if a guy wasn’t raised by his father, or have some type of father figure in his life, is a huge RED FLAG! If you happen to meet one of these guys, it will only last for a season. Be very careful and when meeting a guy like this, ASK QUESTIONS about his childhood! In my experience, if he tells you he doesn’t know his father or wasn’t raised by him, do yourself a favor and run! DON’T STICK AROUND TO BE HURT!

    1. Agreed! I’m not too much younger than you, but I know how hard it is to find a good man. It’s quite unfortunate but I guess it’s just a matter of changing either our expectations, or our environment. I’m not one for lowering my standards, so I’m going to try and place myself in different environments/situations where I can meet “quality” men.

      It’s funny because when I hear men say they can’t find a ‘good woman’, I always question them, “Where are you looking? There are plenty of us” LOL!

      1. LOL! I agree with you. I’m enjoying my single life, but I am always open to meeting a man who has the qualities I’m looking for. Fatherless men need not apply…

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