Longterm Engagement Can Lead to Longterm Problems

So with the TV series of “Marrying the Game” ending, I started thinking about long-term engagements and I wondered why people stay engaged for long periods of time. No one should rush to propose but once you’re engaged, why lag?

The average engagement period in this country is between 1-1 1/2 years. What in the world takes so long to tie the knot? Sure, your dream wedding venue might be booked, you need to save money or other things come up but really – a year and a half engagement? It seems to me that the longer you take to plan the wedding, the more expensive it becomes. I know from personal experience the more time you give me to plan an event, the more things I’ll find to spend money on. Anyone who is engaged for longer than a year must not want to get married. If you are spending more time fussing over having the perfect venue or the cost of the wedding, than you are focusing on the wrong things.

But getting back to my point…on the television show “Marrying the Game”, the couple Tiffney and Jayceon were engaged to be married after dating on & off for 8 years. On the show, there were some issues that Tiffney felt needed to be addressed before walking down the aisle but at the end of the series the future of their relationship was unclear. It’s one thing to date for years & years on end but after breaking off an engagement there is no point in maintaining that relationship even with the purpose of “working on things”. Why call off an engagement unless you’re ready to call off the relationship?  Even if you think that your situation will change with time, people don’t change.

I think that long term engagements are ridiculous: Are you really hoping that your relationship will improve because you’ve changed the date of your wedding?

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6 thoughts on “Longterm Engagement Can Lead to Longterm Problems

  1. I can see a range anywhere between 5-17 months. This means 5 months (what I think is the minimum for many events over 100 guests, especially with out of town travelers) +/- 1 year.

    Any shorter than 5 months, and you limit your choices a lot (example: buying a dress off the rack instead of ordering, which can take 5-8 months). That’s fine for some people, especially those with less specific “visions”. But say you have your heart set on an April wedding, and it’s Christmas. Your choices are either to A) plan a wedding in 4 months (and many traditional wedding venues will book faster) or B) plan a wedding in 16 months. It’s not surprising that many choose option B.

    Considering the Nov-Feb timeframe is most popular for engagements, and May-June is popular for weddings, it’s not surprising that many choose to have 1+ year engagements. There are also couples that have are restricted to a particular time of year if they are students, teachers, or somehow seasonal (accountants).

    When you start approaching 2 years, that’s when I personally question why you’re delaying. A 24 month engagement would drive me nuts, no matter how perfect the flower arrangements. What are you expecting out of a 24 month timeline that you couldn’t expect out of 1 year?

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