10 “Skinny Girl” Problems

Skinny girl

You all know how much I hate hearing the word “skinny”. (Ew!) But I came across this post & thought it was quite hilarious so I thought I’d share. Enjoy!

 

  • We can barely give blood – We want to do good in the world and give back sometimes. So when we go to donate blood, we often get met with side-eyes from workers who don’t think we meet the 110 lb cut off. And then they make us drink extra juice just so we can get our weight up at the moment and not pass clean out. I mean, yeah sometimes their concern is legit, but I’m saying #doe. I e’em ate a steak before going to make sure I was good. You ain’t gotta look at me that hard. Hmph.
  •  We’re always cold – ALWAYS. Without much fat on our bones, we’re always left shivering. We can have on a tank top, sweater, scarf, leggings under our jeans, and our favorite wool jacket and we’d still be freezing. While everyone else is all “It’s just so nice out!” Lookie here… I have no buffer so ignore me while I shiver.” This is a REAL struggle. Living in Chicago winter is even tougher when you’re skinty. Needless to say, the amount of our electric bill is directly proportional to how skinny we are.
  • We always get reminded that we’re skinny – Folks feel the need to let us know we’re skinny, as if we don’t already know. And they feel no qualms about it. They’re all “Damb you skinny as hell.” You won’t like it if I walked up to you talmbout “Damb G. You fat as shit.” Not ONE bit. So why must you throw my skinty in my face? This is especially true for family members.

Skinny 1

  • And then folks always gotta come up with a plan to “fatten you up.”
  • Our pants get baggy midday – So we put on our pants in the morning, and they’re all fitted and cute. We’re feeling ourselves and going “Heyyyyyyy…” But due to the stretching of the fabric, by noon, our pants are looking like wide-leg. And this makes me sad. How’d my jeans get 2 sizes bigger in 6 hrs??? That’s just disrespectful. It’s all saggy in the booty and our segzy is totally compromised. Then we gotta wash the pants in high heat to get them back tight. And the cycle repeats itself.
  • We make terrible cuddle buddies – Lack of meat on our bones make certain joints and parts of us sharp, like elbows, knees and chins. Have you ever placed your head on his chest and he goes “OW!”

You: “What?” Him: “Your chin just stabbed me” You: *cries in tea*

  • Gusts of winds are dangerous – A really windy day is our kryptonite. Have you ever had to battle a strong gust of wind that almost swept you into traffic? That joint is embarrassing. And let it be raining, so you have a punk umbrella with you and it turns inside out. It becomes a struggle to stay standing. Unless you find a pole or something heavy to hang on to, it might be deuces. REAL struggles!
  • It’s hard to find knee boots that fit our calves without space left – We go shoe-shopping and try on some dope shoes, only to find that we still got a 2-inch gap where the boots don’t touch our calves. TOO disappointing. We look like fishermen in their rubber boots. And then we get sad. This is a REAL struggle. Especially for us shoe heads. I take that personally.
  • People pick us up to test their strength – Skinty girls get picked up randomly by people who want to see how strong they are talk about “Hey lemme pick you up. Bet I could.” Yeah AND? I’m not a toddler! Put me down, fool!
  • We have to prove to folks that we eat – We’ve been asked countless times “Do you eat?” Nawl… I get sustenance off oxygen and the occasional cracker. YEAH I EAT!!! So anytime we go to restaurants, we feel pressured to clean our plates and almost lick them. When we don’t, folks be talk about “See that’s why you’re that skinny now.” HMPH! Can I be great??? How you know it ain’t because my metabolism is on crack? HUH??? And let us not pick a super fatty dish…
  • We can’t exercise without being judged – We mention to folks that we’re gonna start exercising and they look at us up and down with this look O____o. I am skinny and out of shape. YES, it’s possible. So excuse me for tryna make sure my heart is right. Being skinny fat ain’t bout that life!
  • And as a bonus…

Skinny 2

And then folks make us sit in that part of the backseat because we don’t need a lotta space. By the time we get to the destination, we’ve been assaulted by the hardness. RUDENESS!

 

 

 

There are COUNTLESS skinny girl problems! Which ones did I miss?

 

*Article originally published on AwsomelyLuvvie.

12 Things Incredibly Happy People Often Do

Do you have a friend who always seems so happy?

Have you ever thought, “how do they do it?”

How do they stay positive even when life seems impossible?

People who are generally happy have a set of habits that they do daily that puts them in their happy place.

These habits are not unusual or complex. In fact, they are simple and easy to do.

The thing about happy people is that they do these things on a consistent basis.

All it takes for other people to be more like happy people is to start mimicking their habits.

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1. Choose to be happy.

The most important thing happy people do is choose to be happy. They do this by choosing positive thoughts and following through with positive action. Happy people know it is through control of their thoughts, emotions, and actions that will help keep them more happily situated.

2. Live in gratitude.

Happy people tend to be grateful for the life they have. They see most things as blessings and opportunities rather than a string of obstacles or disappointments. When confronted with a dilemma, a happy person will choose to see the silver lining and react in a way that brings about a more beneficial solution.

3. Say thank you.

Happy people say thank you a lot. They say thank you to their barista, the cab driver who dropped them off, and to the person who let them through on that busy intersection. For them, life offers many occasions to show their gratitude.

4. Give back.

Happy people live in a gracious state of being and pay it forward often. They do nice things for people naturally. There is no pretense or calculation, happy people just want to make other people happy. Happiness is infectious in their eyes.

5. Smile more.

Happy people tend to show off their pearly whites. They know that a person greeted with a smile often gets them a smile right back.

6. Give hugs.

Happy people are quick to hug and be affectionate with people. When they see their friends and loved ones, it’s normal for them to be free with their feelings. They are not shy in showing their affection when they have a surprise run-in with a good friend in the grocery store.

7. Get your groove on.

Happy people dance more often and at times more wildly than others. Happy people dance in their cars, tap their feet to the beat, and love a good happy-inducing playlist. Happy people have been known to shout out, “That’s my song!”

8. Be expressive.

Happy people use their arms and hands a lot. They pump their fists, give bear hugs, and in general are animated when they talk. Their happiness is felt deeply and containing that energy is not always so easy.

9. Be confident.

Happy people do what’s called “power poses.” These poses help their body relax, feel more confident, and of course make them even happier. Psychologist Amy Cuddy has studied these power poses and confirms that they have the ability to change hormone levels in the body to produce a more positive state of being.

Learn more about power posing here.

10. Get physical.

Happy people move more often whether it’s hitting the dance floor or the gym floor. They like to get their endorphins flowing and enjoy an energized body.

11. Eat healthy foods.

Happy people tend to be more health conscious because they know that since you derive energy from food, its best to make good choices to get that quality rush. From moving more to eating better, happy people are generally healthier people.

12. Live your best life.

Finally, happy people want to live the best life they can. They know inherently that it’s a multifaceted approach. In order stay happy they need to think good thoughts, live in gratitude, move often, eat well, and make a conscious choice to be happy most of the time.

happy

 

*Article originally published on Life Hack.

I Hate Hand Dryers!

My gym recently switched from paper towels to hand dryers in the restrooms. While I understand this may save them money, it certainly has cost me convenience. Sure, you get to dry your hands a lot faster and it does feel good to have hot hair blowing on your hands (especially if you just washed with cold water). Not to mention that if you’re not feeling particularly social, you get to turn your back on everyone else in the restroom while you dry your hands. Regardless of all this, there are still a lot of disadvantages to using a hand dryer instead of using good old fashioned paper towels.

 Here are some of my gripes about hand dryers:

•    Water sprays everywhere – A big wind machine blowing water everywhere can get very messy. And depending on how you hold your wet hands under the dryer, there’s no telling where that water will blow. It could hit the wall, the floor, your clothes or worse yet someone else. Who wants someone else’s dirty water sprayed on them?

•    Only one person can use them at a time – At least with paper towels, you can grab a few, step aside & let someone else grab some to dry their hands. In other words within the time span of 1 minute at least 10 people can dry their hands. With those dryers it’s got to be one person at a time which means not only will you have to wait to wash your hands, you’ll also have to wait to dry them. So what do you do while you’re waiting on a dryer? I guess you can stand around trying not to get splashed by the person already using the dryer!

•    Not sanitary – Everyone doesn’t wash their hands (nor do they use soap) so the door handle can be quite gross. But without paper towels, there is simply nothing to grab it with. What’s a woman to do? You know your hands are clean, but you don’t know what kind of germs that door handle could be infested with.

•    Having paper towels is job security for janitors – Don’t they realize that every time you replace a paper towel rack with a hand dryer, you’re costing another janitor their job? Who else comes in to pick up all the paper towels off the floor, empty the waste basket and refill the plastic trash liner? When you eliminate the need for all of that, you are adding to the unemployment crisis! (Okay, not quite but still you get my point)

•    Loud & annoying – Let’s face it; these dryers are as loud as they are annoying. I come to the bathroom for peace and simplicity, not to hear a Boeing 747 take off. Plus if I’m in the middle of a conversation with someone else in the bathroom I always end up getting cut off because no one can hear over the load roar. The deafening noise from the dryer should not be the way I end my bathroom experience.

I guess at the end of the day these hand dryers may be here to stay, so I guess I have to get used to them, but this doesn’t mean I have to like them.

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February Is Officially Over

Black History Month is officially over (boo!) & I hope that you were able to learn something new from my daily Black History posts. I know I did. I mean who knew that a Black man was the first one to make it to the North Pole? Or that African American man couldn’t vote until almost 100 years after this country was founded? I certainly didn’t. Even though February is over, I’ll continue to slip in some Black History factoids throughout the month. So stay tuned!

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March is here and I have a lot, and I do mean a lot, of new topics. I will continue to include articles of interest that I find on other websites and try to plug other writers; however, I am going to include a lot of issues as it relates to what’s going on in my life. Issues of dating, marriage, having children (or not), friendship, motivational topics, working out, church, etc. will continue to be the most popular topics on my blog.

Oh yeah, and don‘t worry – the Question of the Day is back! I’ve got plenty of great questions that I’m going to throw out there so please Respond, Like, or Re-blog (or all 3 if you can)!

Also, I know this blog looks rather plain. I actually like it that way – it’s less distracting.  But I’m going to play around with some new looks to make it a little more visually appealing, so please bear with me.

I’m also planning on adding a new feature:

  • CV Chronicles: My girlfriend & I made a pact to go out multiple times a week so that we can network, meet new people (hopefully some good looking men!) and enjoy new hot spots in our city. From time to time I will ‘chronicle’ these outings by sharing where I went, who I met and what, if anything, came out of it. So, when you see the heading “CV Chronicles” you’ll know what to expect!

So here’s what Chocolate Vent will look like:

  • Sunday: I’ll continue with my weekly scriptures, however, there might be some musical clips from time to time. Since the beginning of the year, I have been keeping track of my weekly blessings. Bad things always happen, so sometimes it’s nice to just sit down & appreciate good things as they happen.
  • Question of the Day: They’re back! Don’t be afraid to Respond, Like, or Re-blog
  • Monday – Friday: These posts will be my usual mix of crazy!
  • Saturday: I will post previously published articles that I think you may find interesting (like I did today)
  • Facebook: Articles about any & everything will be posted here. I’m also going to start posting some funny pics that will be sure to make you laugh!
  • Twitter: My usual “randomness

 

Happy reading & feel free to leave comments at any time!

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Would I Work Out Any Harder If There Were Cute Men At My Gym?

I notice so many things while I’m exercising that sometimes it can be distracting but it also gives me some good writing material. And since I like to write about my observances at the gym so much, this week I thought I’d share my thoughts on why I DON’T enjoy working out -

  • It Makes Me Feel Fat – There are so many muscular looking people at the gym. Of course, going to the gym is how they got those nice bodies, but still. Looking at everyone’s well-toned bodies can sometimes make me feel self-conscience about my own
  • It’s Too Loud – Between the TV’s, the clanging of the machines & the music blasting it’s sometimes just too noisy to concentrate. Everybody isn’t motivated by the same type of music or the same television programming. There’s nothing worse than the sound of metal crashing on the concrete floor. I especially hate it when men are working out on a machine and just drop the weights (rather dramatically, might I add) when they’re done. If the weights were that heavy to begin with, perhaps you shouldn’t be lifting them, right?
  • Cesspool Of Germs – How gross is the gym? I mean think about it – tons of people come in & out of the gym every day, sweating, with shedding hair, dirty towels and unwashed hands. How can this possible be sanitary? I always wash my hands before & after working out but that still doesn’t stop the germs from sticking to all the equipment that everyone uses
  • Extra Laundry – When you work out 4-5 times a week that can create a whole lot of extra laundry. That 5 extra t-shirts, 5 extra sports bras, 5 extra pairs of socks, you get the point…   Before, I could go weeks without doing laundry, sometimes even a month (yes, I do have that many pairs of undergarments) but now I have to wash a lot more often. Not only do I have extra clothes to wash, I also have to deodorize my laundry area a lot more (dirty gym clothes sure can stink!)
  • Inconvenient – In a perfect world, I wouldn’t have to work out at all. Even in a less than perfect world, I would have a gym in my home so I wouldn’t have to go out at all.  But since I don’t live in a perfect (or even near perfect world), I am forced to venture outside of my home just to exercise. Although it’s definitely worth the effort, it’s still an inconvenience. (I guess the convenience factor will come later in life when I’m still healthy & everyone else is outta shape)
  • Lack of Parking – I’ve mentioned this before, but it still holds true. Why do gyms always have such small parking lots? In a perfect world everybody would walk or jog to the gym but it’s like they forgot that the people who work out need to have a place to park their car. I understand that membership at a gym fluctuates from month to month so you never know exactly how many people will be there at any given time but once the parking lot is full, they should stop accepting new members

ugly gym

It Doesn’t Take All Day To Eat A Turkey

Another Thanksgiving Day is almost here. There won’t be any turkey at my family’s house this year, instead we’ll be eating out but I know a lot of other families will be preparing large Thanksgiving dinners. That’s all well & good, but I hope that those people don’t lose sight of what’s important during this holiday – the season of giving thanks.

Personally, it’s been a rough year for me but I still have a lot to be thankful for. Don’t worry, I won’t get into that during this post. Maybe another time or even Thanksgiving, 2015. For now, I’d like to focus on other things you could be doing on Thanksgiving Day because let’s face it, it doesn’t take all day to eat a turkey! See below:

Volunteer – If you have food to eat & family to spend the day with, then you’re better off than close to 700,000 homeless people in this country. Before (or after) feeding yourself, find time to go & help feed other people tomorrow. Look for local volunteer opportunities in your area –  

Go shopping – We all know about the great deals that go on during Black Friday. But why wait? Why not start shopping on Thanksgiving? Click here to see which stores will be open on Thanksgiving Day. If you insist on joining the madness on Friday, be sure to coordinate all of your store visits by clicking here. You could even have some fun by setting up an early breakfast or luncheon after you’re done with your midnight shopping runs. Last but not least, if you’re not interested in hitting any stores this season, keep your computer running so that you can shop online. There are great deals online, some greater than what you would find in the actual stores. So stay inside where it’s warm and click away!

Get one last good workout in before eating – We all know that Thanksgiving comes & goes and leaves us with extra pounds that we didn’t ask for. Instead of waiting for the new year to begin working out why not start today? Here are some quick workouts that you can do from the comfort of your own home before you sit down for dinner on Thursday:

  • Jumping Jacks
  • Push-ups
  • Crunches
  • Squatting
  • Running in place
  • Lunges
  • Planking

Collect recipes now for leftovers – Nobody likes getting stuck with a bunch of leftovers. But since that’s what always happens on Thanksgiving, you might as well learn some new ways to handle all that extra turkey. Karen Temple from The Aiken Standard wrote some tips on how to handle all the leftovers -

The practice of eating leftovers has been around since man first discovered that food gathered or hunted today could be ‘preserved’ and safely eaten tomorrow. But that’s just the thing – you want to make sure the leftovers are safe and not going to make anyone sick!

  • Since you know there are likely to be leftovers from the Thanksgiving meal, safe food handling practices become even more important. Be extremely careful that you don’t cross contaminate, taking particular care to keep items that will be eaten raw away from uncooked poultry or meat while preparing the food
  • After the meal, package and refrigerate leftovers promptly. Do not leave items on the table or kitchen counter for grazing throughout the day! Large amounts of dense foods (mashed potatoes, stuffing, etc) will cool more quickly if packaged in smaller containers for storage
  • Most leftovers can be safely stored in the refrigerator for three to four days if they have been properly handled on the front end. After that, the risk of food poisoning increases
  • If you will not be eating the leftover food within three to four days, freeze it immediately. Bacteria do grow at refrigeration temperatures (just more slowly than at room temp) so don’t store the food in the refrigerator for days before deciding to freeze it
  • Lastly, when in doubt, throw it out  

 

Clink on some of the links below for ‘leftover recipes’ -

 

Happy Turkey Day everyone!!

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My Gut Overfloweth – Further Observations From The Gym

It’s been a while since I’ve posted about my time at the gym. So this week I thought I’d share some more observations for your reading pleasure -

  • I can’t go to a gym class where the instructor is overweight - If she tells the class to run in place, she’ll just stand there and watch. If she tells us to do 20 crunches, she won’t do any. If she tells us to do jumping jacks, she’ll jump down to tie her shoe. I mean really, all gym instructors must look the part. I don’t want someone leading the class who looks like me. I want someone leading the class who looks better than me!
  • Why do gyms always have such small parking lots? –In a perfect world everybody would walk or jog to the gym but it’s like they forgot that the people who work out need to have a place to park their car. I understand that membership at a gym fluctuates from month to month so you never know exactly how many people will be there at any given time but once the parking lot is full, they should stop accepting new members
  • I hate the loud music that the gym has playing – Why do they blast the music so loud that I can’t hear the songs playing from my own iPod? Everyone walks around with headphones so obviously people want to listen to their own music. We don’t want to hear the gym’s playlist; we want to hear our own. Isn’t it called an iPod, not a gymPod?
  • Why am I forced to bring my own towels to the gym? – I hate that my gym charges me to use their towels. I get that washing & drying isn’t free but unless you want my sweat dripping everywhere, I suggest you let me borrow a towel for free while I work out
  • Why bother coming to the gym and not even really try to exercise? – Some people put enough weight on the machines that only a 12 year old could lift. What’s the point? A lot of    people go to the gym just to say they went to the gym. If you’re gonna go through the trouble to dress & drive to the gym you should at least break a sweat once you get there

Gym teacher 1

I’ll Take 1 Man To Go: Tall, Funny & Smart But Hold The Muscles

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know that I like to write about my experiences in the gym. Click here to read more about that. Even though I haven’t worked out that much this week I’d still like to share my latest observances –

  • Why do men have big arms but skinny little legs? – We’ve all seen men who have very muscular arms but toothpicks as legs. Why aren’t men as vigilant about working out their lower body as they are their arms? I know the arms are one of the most visible parts of the body but don’t forget about your legs too
  • The gym is a good place to ogle & not feel bad about it – The point of working out is to improve your body (and your health too). So if I can’t enjoy the results of your hard labor, men, then why bother? The gym may be sweaty & funky, but it certainly offers a nice view. =)
  • Two grown men shouldn’t work out together – There should be a minimum amount of weight required to lift before you need a workout partner. If you are doing bicep curls you do not need a partner. Bench press yes, bicep curls no
  • If you’re in the gym wear gym clothing – Why do some people show up with cargo pants on? The gym is a place to wear comfortable, loose clothing so you shouldn’t be wearing anything that involves a zipper
  • If you’re going to wear gloves you should be lifting some serious weight – I’ve seen men lift 50 pound weights with gloves on. Why? Fifty pounds is not really heavy (at least for a man, it isn’t) so if that’s all you can lift, preventing calluses should be the least of your concerns

gym 7

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