Let’s Do Away With ‘Secret Santa’!

Secret Santa

Earlier this week we pulled names for the Secret Santa party next week at work. I, for one, can’t stand this archaic ritual but complied anyway as a “team player”. The gift giving limit is $20 and all gifts will be exchanged next week before Christmas.

The problem I have with this whole ‘Secret Santa’ business is that it just seems so contrived. What’s the point anyway? Why should we be forced to give gifts to people we barely know? And furthermore, why should we have to pay for it out of our own pocket when the company is “forcing” us to participate?

Here are some of my grievances:

What if I don’t know the person whose name I pulled? Or worse yet, what if I don’t like them? I am not best friends with everyone I work with. There are some people I’m not particularly fond of & I don’t like the idea that I now have to buy them a present just because it’s Christmas. What about the people I don’t know too well? Am I supposed to just guess at getting them a gift? Sure, everyone likes gift cards but what type of gift card should I get? There are just too many options for someone I don’t even know. Gift giving is supposed to be from the heart not from a corporate mandate.

What if I don’t celebrate Christmas? Not everyone believes in ole Jolly St. Nicholas in which case why should they be heavily encouraged to participate. It’s awkward enough to have to announce your religious beliefs at work let alone defend why you choose not to participate in a seemingly fun holiday office party. Or maybe it’s not even about religion. I may have personal reasons not to celebrate this time of year. Perhaps I’ve lost a loved one, am away from my family during the holidays or just don’t care about Christmas at all. I should not be forced into showing any holiday cheer.

Wasting time having a party during work hours, but the work still needs to get done. Even if I end up having fun with this whole little ‘Secret Santa’ thing, I’m still responsible for getting my work done once the party is over. Exchanging presents, eating & mingling takes up precious work time and I don’t want to feel stressed over all the work I’ll be left to do once this involuntary party is over.

Do you have ‘Secret Santa’ parties at your job? What happens if you don’t want to participate? What types of gifts are usually given? Do you have fun or do you secretly despise them? I’d love to hear in the comments section below -

Secret Santa 1

You Want Your Daughter to Wait For Marriage, But You Won’t Wait For Me?

A while ago, I got into a conversation about pre-marital sex with a man who happened to be the father of a 13 year old daughter. We started talking about dating standards and how he has tried to raise the bar for young men that will one day want to date his daughter. He asked me if I was seeing anyone and instead of answering yes or no, I decided to throw him a curve ball by asking him if he would ever date someone who was waiting to get married before having sex. His response was, just as I thought, “HELL NO!”  Since he’s a parent of a teenage daughter, I asked him what he was teaching his daughter about sex. He told me that he was teaching her to wait until she got married before having sex (which is exactly what I figured he would say). My next question to him was, “Why is it okay for your daughter to wait until marriage, but you wouldn’t date a woman that’s doing the same thing?”

He responded by telling me that he didn’t honestly believe that his daughter was going to wait for marriage but that the true goal was to at least have her stay a virgin until she finished high school. He didn’t really expect her to wait until she got married. He also said that waiting for marriage is fine when you’re younger but as an adult it’s not to be expected.

So then I started wondering at what age is it okay to “not wait” any longer. If I expected to be married by a certain age, say 30 years old (I’ve missed that boat) should I wait until then? What about after that? But wait, since we can’t tell the future and don’t know exactly when we’ll get married is there a certain age where women should decide that they just shouldn’t wait anymore?

I am of the belief that sex before marriage is wrong. Yes, for religious reasons, but there are many other “non-Biblical” reasons as well (I’ll save that list for another post). The point I’m trying to make is that why is it okay to teach our daughters to abstain from sex but at the same time can’t live by those standards ourselves? After all, I am somebody’s daughter.

I’ve had men tell me “I respect you for waiting for marriage, but I’m not doing that”. It hurts my heart that there aren’t many good men out there that will honor what I’m trying to do with my body (which will one day be his after we’re married, thank you). I feel like it’s a direct slap in the face to both my parents who raised me to wait on the Right One. It’s the equivalent of saying “Sorry Mr. Rhoades, I know that you taught your daughter to wait until marriage and I respect her decision, but I don’t want to date her because I think she should sleep with me anyway.”

I’ve also heard the argument that children shouldn’t be having sex but as consenting adults we should. Waiting for marriage is taught to children and not meant for adults. That argument doesn’t hold water with me because a woman’s body is a women’s body whether she’s 15 or 35 and she should protect her temple/her body (read: be with as few men as possible) no matter what age she is.

It’s just sad that a woman has to lose her values just to gain a man….