Black Women ‘Invented The Feminist Movement’

Gloria Steinem is all about sisterhood.

In an interview with Black Enterprise, published on March 19, Gloria Steinem discussed the impact black women have had on the feminist movement and the idea that the movement has and continues to exclude them.

“I thought they invented the feminist movement. I know we all have different experiences, but I learned feminism disproportionately from black women,” Steinem told Black Enterprise reporter Stacey Tisdale.

The 80-year-old activist has had made many life-long friendships and alliances with powerful black feminists throughout her 50-year career. In 1971 she launched Ms. Magazine with Dorothy Pitman Hughes and later featured actress and activist Pam Grier as the first black woman to be on the cover of the magazine in 1975. Steinem was also close with black activist Flo Kennedy and the great Alice Walker.

“I realize that things being what they are, probably the white middle-class part of the movement got reported more,” Steinem continued. “But if you look at the numbers and the very first poll of women thinking about responding on women’s issues, African-American women were twice as likely to support feminism and feminist issues as White women.”

When Tisdale asked Steinem what she would tell black women who said the feminist movement isn’t about them or doesn’t speak to them, Steinem replied, “I don’t say anything. I listen.”

fem

*Originally published on Huffington Post.

Does He Like Me For Me, Or Because I’m Not Her?

ex cuter

Have you ever compared yourself to other women your boyfriend dated? I have. Although it’s usually a physical comparison (especially because men are more visual), I sometimes wonder how I stack up to these other women. Thoughts like “What did he see in her?”, “I know I’m prettier than she is” or “She’s not that cute” run through my head. Of course I know there’s more to it than just the physical, but it is the easiest thing to compare.

There have been times when it wasn’t me doing the comparing but it was the guy I was dating that was comparing me. Usually this happens when a man is fresh out of a relationship but may subconsciously happen at any time during the dating/courting process. There’s nothing wrong with thinking about your ex or even missing them, but if you’re comparing them to your current girlfriend then there’s a problem.

This has happened to me before. Case & point: A guy I was dating had just gotten out of a relationship that was supposedly toxic for him. At first he was complaining about the things she did wrong or things she wasn’t doing at all. But that quickly turned into noticing that the things she didn’t do or say to him was completely opposite of what I was doing & saying.

Coming out of a bad relationship, it became clearer & clearer that I was doing and saying all the things she was not. Instead of putting him down, I was supportive. Instead of shutting him out, I was encouraging him to open up. Instead of yelling at him, I was listening to him.

Was I doing these things on purpose – you know, to prove that I was a better woman than she was? Nah. Did I take pride in knowing that he was getting from me what he never got from her? Nah, I was just being me.

But then I questioned whether or not he truly appreciated me for me or because I wasn’t her. It’s like finding a dollar when all you’ve ever owned is a quarter. A dollar is not a lot by any means but you sure can be grateful to have it when you didn’t have it before. But if someone then offered you $100, $1 will seem very insignificant, right? So it really is all a matter of perception.

I want to be appreciated for how well I treat a man, not COMPARED to how he’s been treated in the past. I understand, sometimes it’s hard not to – but for the sake of the relationship, everyone deserves to be judged for their own actions.

As we get older we will date more & more people. While it’s natural to reflect on past relationships, we shouldn’t let that cloud our judgement of anyone else that comes into the picture. Give the new person a clean slate!

Do you compare your current to your ex? Or do you think that maybe you’re the one being compared? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below -